Joker and Harley oneshots and headcanons.

In The Dark.

CW for briefly implied alcoholism.

Wordcount: 1,084

-

Joker seemed to stare into nothing. His body ached and his heart was slow.

Knives of all kinds surrounded him, as well as vases, bottles of alcohol, perfume, Joker cards, red roses, and photos of a certain blonde woman.

He hadn’t moved from his circle in several weeks. The most he had moved was sitting up, or laying down to sleep, only to wake up half an hour later. All he could do was wait for that one, blissful day when someone finally found her.

Joker wasn’t sure whether he was asleep or awake, he couldn’t even be sure he was still alive. His vision was blurred and his head pounded as he heard what seemed to be soft humming behind him.

He closed his eyes, unmoving.

“Puddin…?”

He growled, eyes still shut.

“Baby….?”

He just grunted. He won't fall for it again.

“Why are you ignoring me?”

A voice whined.

“C’monnn, look at me!” it demanded angrily.

He knew what would happen if he opened his eyes. He’d see nothing. No Harley. No shadow. No one.

But, he still didn’t have it in him to tell the voice to leave him alone; it was Harley’s voice after all. The oh-so-sweet voice she used when she didn’t get her way. She could be a spoilt brat sometimes, a pretty one, but a spoilt brat. He supposed it was his fault. He always gave her what she wanted, only making her more spoiled. He couldn’t remember the last time he successfully told her no.

He’d give anything to have his spoilt princess right now, pouting and promising him all kinds of pleasure if he gave into her wants.

“Please?”

His eye twitched, desperate to open.

“Pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty please?”

Joker swore as his eyes forced themselves open against his will, betraying him.

His breath halted and he blinked, muttering a No.

She stood in front of him, blonde hair cascading down her shoulders, her gold diamond dress shimmering in the dull light.

Her skin was paler than the last time he saw her, her hair no longer had its soft, healthy glow, and she seemed much skinnier than she should have been.

Joker gazed at her, tired eyes adoring every curve, every trace of ink, every little blemish, every perfection. One would think he was looking upon a goddess.

“Why were you ignoring me?” she asked. “Baby,” was all Joker could reply with.

She kneeled to his level with a soft smile. She leaned in, almost letting their noses touch. “Shhhh.” She pulled away, leaving his mouth agape. Her legs pulled themselves over his lap as she wrapped her left arm around his shoulder, her right hand against his chest. She's so light… he thought. She leaned forward and let her lips graze over his cheek, but he couldn’t feel her lips against his skin.

“I’m lonely, puddin…” she whispered. Her bottom lip stuck out in a pout.

He wrapped his arms around her waist, desperate to feel her soft skin again, but just like the kiss, he felt nothing against his fingertips. ”Baby,” he groaned. “Yes, sweetie?” she asked, her hand adjusting the collar of his shirt. Joker watched as she kissed his nose tenderly. God, he thought. Her sweet, soft kisses were all he needed right now.

“I can’t touch you.”

She just nodded. “I’ve missed you, puddin. Have you missed me?” Her hands held his face so delicately, with so much care and affection. At least it looked like she did.

“Does it look like I haven’t?”

She looked around, taking in the atmosphere of the room.

Empty alcohol bottles were scattered everywhere. There were easily over 50 bottles dotted about, some smashed, leaving glass over the floor, others left unmarred, but not a single drop left in them.

She turned back to him, her eyebrows drawn together. “You haven’t been over drinkin’ again, have you?”

Joker groaned slightly. “What else am I meant to do? What am I meant to do without you?” His voice broke, making her shush him slightly. “Hush, baby. I’m here now,” she cooed, then adjusted herself closer to him, holding his head to her chest. 

For one, single moment, Joker hoped that he’d feel her, but it only took another moment to crush it. “Shhh, I’ve got ya, sweetie, Harley’s got ya.”

Joker sighed, despite not being able to feel her, getting to hear her voice might be enough. Whilst she was a spoiled princess, Harley could be very nurturing, and she always did well at comforting him when he needed it.

Though he couldn’t feel it, he nestled deeper into her chest. “Where are you, baby? Tell me. Tell Daddy so he can find you.”

She kissed his head. “I can’t tell you, puddin. You have to find me.” Joker grimaced as her voice turned somber. “Please save me, puddin.”

CLICK!

Light filled the room at the flick of the light switch.

She was gone.

Baby…No. Come back.

Joker snatched his gun from the floor, pointing it at the door. He growled, a single finger on the trigger, ready for him to shoot whatever had scared his baby away.

He reluctantly lowered his gun as Frost stepped towards him. This better be fucking good, Jhonny, he thought, gun still tight in his clutch.

“Where is she?”

“It’s complex. This is not just her, everybody’s disappearing,”

Joker rolled his head back. He didn’t care about “Everybody,” he cared about her.

“There’s this new law where if you’re a bad enough bad guy they stamp terrorist on your jacket,”

Joker continued rolling his head, only half listening. Where is Harley?!?!

“They send you to this swamp in Louisiana, a black site. That’s where she is.”

Joker breathed in relief, letting his neck fall. His heart seemed to thrum for the first time in months and an unknown pain was released from his body.

“So, what are we doin’?”

“Bring the car around we’re goin’ for a drive,” Joker stated, laying down against the floor, a laugh escaping him.

He breathed deeply, feeling the weight of all his worries let go, being replaced with the promise of his only love coming back to him.

CLICK!

The room fell dark once again, the only light coming from a single lamp and the small gap in between the curtains.

Heels clicked against the floor, loud in the quiet room.

The glowing, blonde figure returned, smile as bright as the sun.

“You found me, puddin! You found me!”

-

It's basically cannon to me that Harley is extremely spoiled. I think the scene when Flag yells at her to shut up and she just pouts and crosses her arms is proof that she isn't used to being told no or anything along those lines. Also the scene where Harley steals the purse from the shop window, something about her tone just screams spoiled to me. The costume designer even confirmed lots of Harley's outfits and jewellery were custom made and from Joker.
I refuse to believe she isn't a spoiled princess that can't take no for an answer. Joker just enables her and gives her everything she wants because he can't say no. Mostly because he finds it cute, she's his spoiled, bratty princess.

-
Lilmisspuddinpop.