Joker and Harley oneshots and headcanons.

Meetings.

Harley peeked through the bead curtains of her and Joker’s private booth, watching J look through a binder that she guessed was filled with work related paperwork.

“What are you doing, Baby girl?” J asked, not needing to look up from his papers to know she was there.

Harley giggled and pulled herself over the small border that separated the booth from the rest of the club.

She skipped over to where J was sitting on the booth’s couch and sat down next to him, placing her chin on his shoulder. “Does Daddy have time to give me some attention?” she said with a happy grin. J turned his eyes away from his paperwork to look at her. “I’m sorry, Baby, but I have an important meeting in a couple of minutes. I’ll give you cuddles in a little bit, okay.”

Harley pouted at him. “Not even a lil bit of kisses?” She asked, putting on a fake sad voice.

J sighed. He knew the sadness in her voice was fake, but she sounded sad nonetheless, and he hated making his Baby sad.

“Okay, you can lay your head on Daddy’s lap for a bit until his business partner gets here.”

Harley squealed and adjusted herself to lay down and rest her head on J’s lap. “Can I have head scratchies too?”

J smiled slightly and took one of his hands off the table to place it in her curled hair. “Why do I even bother saying no to you?” “I dunno, I thought you’d know by now that I know how ta’ get my way.”

A few minutes passed until Frost came in to inform J that his business partner was here.

“Alright, you need to get back up now, Baby girl.” Harley whined in reply. “Nooo! I’m too sleepy to get up.”

“You can still sit next to me, you know that, right, Baby? You don’t have to leave,” J said while he started taking his hand away from her hair but Harley grabbed it just in time and forced it back into her hair. “Nuh-Uh. I want my head in Daddy’s lap while he gives me head scratches.”

J chuckled to himself, realising he didn’t have any other choice than to let her stay there while the man he was working with walked in.

“It’s good to see you again, J,” The man said, sitting on the couch opposite the one that Joker and Harley were sitting on.

Harley didn’t bother listening to their conversation, just focusing on the feeling of J’s nails gently scratching at her scalp. She closed her eyes and let her mind wander.

-

Harley blinked as her eyes adjusted to the light.

She made a sad noise when she realised her head had been placed onto a pillow instead of J’s lap.

She looked around and realised that J had brought her up to the bedroom of their spare apartment that was above the club. They had it so that if anyone ever found out where they lived, they had a place to stay, but they used it for other reasons as well. Like if both of them got too drunk and couldn’t safely drive home or they just didn’t feel like driving all the way home.

As if on cue, J opened the door, smiling at her.

“Mmmm, Puddin,” Harley said sleepily, holding out her arms for him.

“Hi, Baby.” J sat down on the bed and brushed some blonde hair out of her face. “I was happy sleeping on you,” Harley whined. “I’m sorry, my love. Things started to get a little violent in there and I didn't want you to get hurt.”

Harley sat herself up and crawled to him. “Snuggles,” she said, making J laugh a bit. “Yes, Baby, Daddy can give you all the snuggles you want now.”  He kicked his shoes off, then moved to lay down on the bed and patted his lap, gesturing for her to come and sit.

Harley curled up on his lap, wrapping her arms around his shoulders while his arms wrapped around her waist. She gave his nose a soft kiss and then nuzzled into his neck.

“Are you happy now, Love?” J smiled, gently swirling patterns on her lower back, which was exposed from her backless dress.

“Mhmm.” Harley nodded, her face still in his neck.

“How’d the meetin' go, pud?” she asked, having been asleep through most of it. “Same old, same old, I thought about shooting him a couple of times, but I didn't want to wake you up,” J said. “I shot him in the end though.”

Harley giggled happily. She never liked that guy. Over the few months he and J had been working together, he had done nothing but annoy her, the only thing that kept her from shooting him in the head herself was that J seemed to be very happy about the deals they were making, and now that he had almost taken away her cuddle time with J she liked him even less.

“I was surprised you didn't shoot him when he came in,” J smirked. “I wanted ta’, but your arm was in the way of your gun holster and I left mine in the car.”

J sighed. “Baby girl, you know how I feel about you going out without your gun.”

He didn’t like it when Harley went somewhere outside the house without a weapon on her, especially the club. It took a lot of convincing and begging before she was able to leave his side, let alone dance at the club.
Harley knew that he had good intentions by it. Smile and Grin was known for being a club where the most well off and dangerous criminals go to drink and have fun, as they wouldn’t get the police called on them. He just didn’t want her getting hurt.

“I know, Daddy, I know, but I kept a knife on me, See.”

Harley removed her arm from his shoulder to pull the knife out of the hidden knife holster on the side of her thigh, which was covered by her dress.

She handed J the knife to look at it and he took it, making sure it was sharp enough.
“Alright, just always have something on you, I don’t want my Queen getting hurt.”

Harley nodded and took the knife back, placing it back into the thigh holster.

J wrapped his arms back around her waist and pulled her closer to him.

“My Baby girl is not getting hurt, not on my watch.”   

Harley giggled and snuggled against him.

“I don’t think we need to go home tonight,” Harley said quietly. “Bud and Lou have already had their dinner, so we can cuddle here, and drive home in the morning.”

Joker laughed a little bit. “But what if they get hungry in the middle of the night?”

“Eh, They can just eat tod or one of the other henchmen.”

-
Lilmisspuddinpop.