Joker and Harley oneshots and headcanons.

Night Drives.

Wordcount: 1, 435.

Harley rested her head against Joker's shoulder, her eyelids droopy.

"Puddin, can we go home a little early today? I'm sleepy." Joker looked down at her and nodded. "Of course, Baby. I'll go tell Frost to take care of the club," he answered, kissing the top of her head before getting up to find Frost.

A few minutes later, J came back to their booth. "Let's get to the car, Baby," he said, helping Harley up, and she clung to his torso, resting her head against him, closing her eyelids involuntarily. J chuckled at her. "Alright, my sleepy baby, you can rest when we're home, I promise." Harley nodded, opening her eyelids halfway.

After finally getting to the car, Joker opened the door to Harley's side.

When they both got inside the car, Harley placed her head on J's shoulder again. "All that dancing must've taken more out of you than you thought, huh, Baby?" Harley let out a tired laugh, nodding to him.

J quickly checked that Harley's seatbelt was buckled before placing both of his hands on the wheel, and starting the drive back to their house.

J felt Harley's hand gently tap at his tattooed arm. "Yes, Baby?"

Harley wordlessly tapped her thigh with her nails, looking up at him, almost expectedly.

J raised his shaved eyebrow at her. "You want something, Sweetheart?"

Harley whined slightly, grabbing his left hand off of the wheel and placing it onto her thigh.

J chuckled and shook his head, gently gripping onto her small thigh. "You could have just said, Kitten," he said, turning his eyes back to the road. He did not want to be crashing today.

J smiled as he heard Harley start softly humming along to the song playing quietly on the car radio.

"She's a, she's a lady, and I am just a boy. He's singing, she's a, she's a lady, and I am just a line without a.."

"Oh, Baby, I am a wreck when I'm without you," J continued, his smile widening as his thumb gently stroked against her thigh. "I need you to stay."

They both took turns in singing until the post-bridge repeated itself, and they both sang together.

"Because there is something and there is nothing, there is nothing in-between and in my eyes, there is a tiny dancer watching over me he's singing, she's a, she's a lady, and I am just a boy. He's singing, she's a, she's a lady, and I am just a line without a hook."

Harley took J's hand into hers, letting their hands rest on her thigh.

J lifted her hand to his lips, placing a soft, loving kiss on the back of her hand.

"My beautiful lady." 

Harley bit her lip at his words, unable to stop her cheeks from pinking.

"Shut up." J let her hand down from his lips, now smiling like an idiot.

"My gorgeous, perfect lady," he mumbled under his breath, but it still reached Harley's ears.

People can assume and deny all they want, but Joker was a big gentleman behind closed doors, Harley was just the only one to see it to the full extent. Everyone can spread as many lies and abuse accusations as they pleased, but Harley knew the truth, a truth that she was very content with.

Harley frequently forgot that the outside world viewed him as a cruel, demented monster,

After all, what kind of monster would kiss her good morning and night, brush out any knots from her blonde hair each morning without being asked or prompted, or check up on her morning and night to see if she was okay mentally and ask if there was anything she wanted to talk to him about or needed help with? What kind of monster would tuck her into bed and play with her hair while humming soft melodies to her until she fell asleep? He couldn't possibly be a monster.