Joker and Harley oneshots and headcanons.

Drunk

Wordcount: 1210

Harley woke up abruptly, blinking as her eyes adapted to the room's light.

she sat up, suddenly feeling a strong pain in her head. she groaned loudly.

"Easy, Baby, easy," Joker said, standing near the nightstand. he gently guided her to lay back down, his hand resting on her shoulder. "I thought you'd never wake up, Kitten."

"What the hell happened." J shook his head with a small laugh. "You got drunk last night, Harls, remember?" She shook her head, immediately regretting it as she felt another strong wave of pain in her head. "Why do you let me drink," she complained, rubbing her forehead with her hand. "You're a grown woman, sweetheart, I can't stop you from drinking," J chuckled. "But you always say that I'm your baby?"

"Yes, you are very much my baby, but that doesn't mean I can stop you from doing certain things like drinking alcohol. do I trust you getting drunk on your own, fuck no which is why I didn't drink," he responded.

"Fine, I'm gonna go and get some painkillers for this damn headache."

She sat up again, only to feel dizzy. "Are you okay, Honey?" "Yeah, Yeah I'm fine," she brushed off, trying to stand up, then quickly sat back down as she felt herself get dizzier. "No, you lay down, Daddy will go get your painkillers, okay?" "Okay."

After helping her lay down, he went downstairs to get her some medicine.

While she waited, Harley could faintly hear the noise of the microwave going off, she just assumed that Frost was making something.

A few minutes later, J came back, some painkillers in one hand and a small bowl of rice in the other. he gave her the painkillers and put the bowl down on the nightstand. "I made some rice last night for myself after you passed out and I made some extra for you. I just put it in the microwave so it'll be nice and warm."

Harley couldn't help but smile, he was so sweet. "Thank you, Puddin."

"It's okay, Babydoll. now have your painkillers before that headache gets any worse." he gave her a kiss before walking to the other side of the bed and sitting down next to her.

Harley took the painkillers with the water bottle she had left on the nightstand.

"There you go, baby." J gently rubbed her back.

"You're so sweet to me," Harley smiled, placing the water bottle back on the nightstand. "Of course I am, I can't be rude to my Harley." he took her hand in his tattooed one and lovingly kissed it, making Harley blush. "Awww, is my baby blushing?"

She shook her head, moving it to make her messy hair cover her face. "No." "Oh, really, so if I did this your cheeks won't be a cute pink, hm?" J took both his hands and pushed her hair out her face, then gently squeezed her cheeks. "not blushing, huh, what's this then?" he accused, kissing her nose. "it's just cus I'm hungover," Harley muttered, clearly blushing. "yeah? so it's not because I kissed your hand and told you that I couldn't ever be mean to you."

"It is not."

J shook his head with a laugh. "My stubborn girl," he smirked.

"You're lucky I love ya," Harley giggled, picking up the bowl of rice that J had brought her. "Aww, I love you too, Doll."

"you have any work to do today, Pud?" Harley asked, secretly hoping she could have him all to herself for the day. "Nope, I got all my work done yesterday."

Harley smiled. "Wanna have a cuddle day?"

'Cuddle days' were what they called days where neither of them had anything to do and they stayed in bed all day, not letting go of each other. they hadn't had one in a while since J had been quite busy over the last few weeks.

"That's a beautiful idea, Baby," J said, moving to nuzzle his face in Harley's neck, making her giggle. "Puddin, stop, that tickles!" "You have your spot on my chest, this is my spot now."

"But I wanna eat my food. I'm hungry." J huffed but pulled away. "Fine." Harley laughed a little and kissed his forehead, right on his 'Damaged' tattoo. "My cuddle monster," she smiled, making him look at her. "Really? I'm a cuddle monster, what about all those times you wouldn't let me get up because you were in a clingy mood, or when I'm in meetings at the club and you insist on laying your head on my lap so you can have head scratches and then you pout when I tell you I'm busy? "

"Fine, we're both cuddle monsters," Harley admitted and grabbed the spoon from the nightstand so she could eat her rice.

After she finished eating, J immediately got to cuddling her.

-

"Puddin?" "Hm?"

"You're comfy."

"I find that hard to believe."

Harley was laying down against J's chest with his legs at the sides of her own. It wasn't often that they found themselves cuddling in that position but they loved the times that they did.

Harley gave him a kiss from where her head was near his neck. "you are. why do you think I tell my pillow to fuck off and ditch it for you every night." J snickered. "whatttt, It's true!" "Whatever you say, baby."

J moved his arm to wrap around Harley's torso, starting to gently stroke little patterns on her side with the tip of his index finger, feeling her breathing suddenly become much calmer as he did so. He smiled as he felt her slightly nuzzle into his neck.

"I'm gonna fall asleep if you keep doing that," Harley whispered, just loud enough for him to hear. "Well, if you do I'll be right here when you wake up." He gave her ear a little kiss.

Harley took his hand that wasn't on her side and interlocked their fingers.

"Is your headache gone, baby?" Harley nodded. "Mmhm, your snuggles made it go away."

They always joked that when either of them were sick or hurting, it could be cured by being given cuddles by the other. The more hurt one of them is the more cuddles they get. Harley also tries to use it as a way to get extra affection from J. She'll fake getting hurt and ask for snuggles to make her better. J can tell when she's not hurt but he pretends to believe her and gives her the attention she wants.

J chuckled quietly and gave her some quick kisses on the top of her head. "And people say cuddles don't fix things." He gently ticked her side, making her giggle, then he went back to slowly tracing patterns.

They both went quiet after that, listening to the sound of the gentle rain outside mixed with cars flying by and the occasional siren of a police car.

J looked down at Harley and started thinking. 'How did someone as evil and cruel as me, get someone as sweet and precious as her,' he thought, not realizing Harley had noticed him staring at her.

"Are you okay, Puddin?"

J nodded. "I'm fine, Baby, I'm fine....I was just wondering what in gods name I did to deserve you."

Harley smiled.

"I'm the one who should be asking that, Puddin."

-

I'm sorry this took so long to write! for a week or two my home hasn't had internet and I only have data on my phone and I kept forgetting to figure out how to use hotspot on my laptop but I'm back now:)