Hayloft - ron weasley

7

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tw: panic attack

harry sat there awkwardly on a chair in the common room past curfew.

"so, what did you want to talk about?" he asked.

briar had cornered him in the common room moments before everyone went to go up to their dorms. more specifically, before he was about to go up to his dorm.

ron saw and waited in the common room to try and not let them alone together. he was almost successful until briar asked him if she could be alone with harry.

watching her big eyes stare at him in desperation, he obliged and left.

she was sitting in a seat across from him beside the crackling fire, which never seemed to be put out.

"i wanted to say i'm sorry-"

"you already told me you were sorry for that day in potions-"

"let me finish." she said sternly after he interrupted her.

"i wanted to say i'm sorry for cedric." she paused, swallowing her words, "because i know you saw him die, in front of you."

harry just stared at her.

finally he responded, "do you wanna know why i tried to talk to you that day outside hagrid's?"

briar squinted her eyes, "sure..."

"i was going to ask if you were ok, with cedric and everything. but you didn't give me a chance."

"well i'm sorry, you came out of no where when i wanted to be alone!"

harry's eyes widened at how quickly she got upset.

he mumbled an apology and soon went on, "how... are you now?"

"that was only a few days ago harold." she said sarcastically, examining the burning wood next to her.

"what- my- my name isn't- besides the point, i'm trying to make an effort here."

"fine. i'm just peachy."

it got silent again, them just looking at the other, as if they started a staring contest that the other didn't want to acknowledge.

finally harry sighed, "fine, don't tell me. but you asked me here."

after a few more seconds briar thought to herself, 'well, he isn't wrong'

he stood up from the chair beginning to walk away before briar stopped him.

"ok, i'm sorry. i'm just on edge."

he reluctantly went back to sit in the seat.

briar took a breath, she could feel her voice wavering, "did he... did he say anything? before he left?"

she could feel the tears pricking in her waterline, but she really didn't want to cry in front of harry, or anyone for that matter.

"yes." he said breathlessly.

she looked up at him, leaning forward, making it clear she wanted to know what he said.

"he said to take him back to his parents, and to tell them he loved them." he continued, "and he told me to tell you..."

she gulped, she could feel herself hanging on every word he said, feeling as if she moved any closer to him she would fall off her chair.

"he told me to tell you that he loves you and to go on without him."

her face must have looked pretty scary.

she was doing everything in her power to attempt to not let all of the tears pour out of her eyes, probably making a face of concentration and fear.

she looked to the ceiling and blinked her eyes aggressively.

once she regained her composure she looked to him, surprised he hadn't run away yet, "was that all?"

he nodded his head slowly as he looked into the fire.

"i'm sorry i- i have to go." she stuttered as she quickly rose from her seat and went for the girls dormitories.

she heard harry say something but with the feeling of the world spinning around her, it didn't stick in her brain.

she ran up the steps, tripping from her blurred vision, but soon found her dorm.

when she put her hand on her chest she could feel it rapidly rising and falling.

'stop, stop, stop it' she thought to herself.

everything seemed so loud.

her head was pounding.

she slid down on the back of her door feeling her hands form into fists, not able to stop her muscles from tightening themselves.

it felt like all of the air in the room had been sucked out and she was about to die.

she could feel herself shaking violently, mumbling inaudible words to herself, probably telling herself to get a grip.

the tears never stopped falling from her eyes.

she tried to unfist her hands but she only ended up feeling less in control of her body then she did before.

she slowly moved her teeth over her lip biting it as hard as she could, to try and snap out of this panic attack.

in the back of her mind she could hear someone talking to her, 'its going to be ok. breathe. it's ok. listen to the sound of my voice. try to relax. it's alright, it's ok. it'll be over soon.'

slowly but surely, her breathing started to slow down and level. the tears slowly stopped pooling from her eyes, she was starting to unravel her hands, seeing the tiny nail marks pressed into her palms, and felt her body slowly start to stop shaking.

she was still very frightened, it took her several minutes before she was able to stand up and move to her bed.

she felt her eyes close and drifted off to sleep.

i'm sorry if i wrote panic attacks in the wrong way. i tried to write it the way that they feel for me. personally that's what it feels like to me^ but it's different for everybody.

if anyone ever needs to talk don't hesitate. i promise you will feel so much better letting it all out.

just know that you are loved and you mean something to the world, wether you think so or not.