Jikook Oneshots

90. Go Big or Go Home pt. 9

By: @serendipityswan

"Jungkook what are you-"

"I fucked up hyung!" Jungkook says as he drops next to Namjoon on the couch of the latter's hotel room. His breathing erratic as he ran from the arena back to the hotel, not willing to suffer in silence in the back of a shuttle.

"Hey just calm down. Deep breaths okay?" Namjoon says soothingly, although worry is across his face. He rubs the younger's back as Jungkook leans forward, elbows on his knees and face in his hands as he starts to cry. Namjoon says nothing and lets Jungkook release the pent up emotions.

"I-I fucked up. I really fucked up," Jungkook mumbles, hot tears rolling down his cheeks.

"What happened?"

"I kissed Jimin."

"Why is that you fucking up?"

"Cause I did it right after he got his scores and found out he got gold."

"Oh," Namjoon says quietly. "What happened after?"

"He got mad at me. Really upset. He told me to just leave. Said he couldn't deal with me."

"Kook-ah..."

"I even asked him if he had feelings for me. And he just looked at me like he was pleading to drop it. Pleading to not talk about it. He must hate me."

"He doesn't hate you," Namjoon replies calmly. "You just caught him off guard."

"I may have snapped at him," Jungkook mumbles, using his hoodie sleeve to wipe away his tears. "I kind of blamed him for it happening since he gave me the pass and whatnot."

"Kookie..."

"He accused me of clout chasing hyung. God I am a fucking moron with no self-control. He has to hate me now. He must think I'm just another shitty person who took advantage of his trust."

"But you aren't that person," Namjoon soothes. "I think you were both too emotional and maybe said some things you shouldn't have. You just need to talk to him."

"He'll never talk to me again. His walls are up again, probably even higher now. He's back to the emotionless robot all because of me."

"Hey, don't be so hard on yourself. How about you take a shower and get some rest and we can talk about this more tomorrow?" Namjoon offers calmly.

"Can I stay here hyung?" Jungkook asks sheepishly.

"Sure," Namjoon confirms with a soft smile.

Jungkook forced a weak smile before pushing off the couch. Namjoon was quick to stand and pull the younger into a comforting hug.

"It'll be okay Kook-ah," Namjoon says softly. Jungkook simply squeeze him tighter, thankful to have someone to lean on in this moment.

--

"This is just a misunderstanding Kook-ah," Namjoon comforts. After a restless night for the younger, Namjoon insisted on getting away from the hotel for a while. So they took a shuttle into the city to get breakfast together.

"Yeah, me misunderstanding my relationship with him. I'm an idiot," Jungkook replies, pushing his food around with his chopsticks.

"No you're not an idiot. You have feelings for him, you thought he reciprocated, you acted on it in an emotional moment. Nothing stupid about that."

Jungkook sighs in response. He has been replaying the events that took place last night: the excitement, the impulse kiss, and the heartbreaking aftermath. If he could go back in time and not kiss Jimin, he would. But another part of him disagrees with that, which makes him feel even more conflicted and troubled.