Edser In Love

I am no one without you Pt. 2

And then one after one his memories came back.
He held his head tightly as it caused him a lot of pain. Physical pain and pain in the heart as he realised what he had done to his peri kizi. Someone he swore to protect with all his heart and he was the one to destroy her. He cried and sobbed uncontrollably and Melo sat down with him holding his hands understanding what was happening to his eniste.
Life was actually cruel she thought. She definitely wanted his memories to come back but life had chosen the exact moment when it would hurt him the most to get his memories back. When he had broken his peri kizi way beyond repair.
He fell unconscious while sobbing. A few hours later he woke up in his house. Melo had called Engin and he had taken Serkan with him. He stood up and wanted to rush back to the hospital to Eda. He knew how much losing the child was hurting her because he was feeling the same. But how do you heal a person that you yourself have broken. He started sobbing again not understanding what to do.
Eda had said she didn't want to see him and that she 'loved' him. God why did he break her so much that she had lost her love for him. He needed to apologise to her and he would do anything she wanted for that forgiveness. He already broke his promises once but he won't do it again. He would wait for as much time as Eda wanted but he will make sure to be by her side when she needed someone the most. He thought to himself. He was ready to get slapped, punched or even cursed by Eda but he had to be there. He rushed back to the hospital only to be refused to be let in by Semiha and Ayfer.
"Please, please Semiha hanim, I have my memories back. Please let me meet her. It was my child as well. Please." He cried in front of the woman but they refused.
"Eniste, Eda knows. Eda knows you got your memories back. She is not ready to see you yet." Melo had lightly patted on his shoulder and informed him. Serkan broke down crying in front of them. But they couldn't defy Eda's wishes for now. She needed time. She needed time to heal.

The next few days were exhausting for everyone.
Eda was still in hospital recovering physically but her heart was not even close to healing. She would get nightmares and scream and sob whole nights having Melo by her side. Serkan had tried a lot to try to enter the room but Eda had refused. He would sit outside her room all day and night for the past few days. Sleep wasn't a known thing to him anymore. All he would do is sob hearing Eda's cry of heartache and sobs. Melo was like a messenger between them. She would inform Serkan about Eda's health whereas Eda would enquire about Serkan from Melo.
She knew he was in pain too. Probably a lot of pain. He had also lost a child, plus he had been drugged by his best friend Selin, the one who he considered constant in his life and relied upon for recovery from the crash, and he had remembered everything which meant he was also feeing guilty about hurting Eda. But Eda couldn't compare whose pain was greater because how would you measure pain of two broken souls. She wanted to go and hug Serkan and tell him that things will be okay but she wasn't sure of that yet.
Yes, she still loved Serkan, she knew there love was beyond all the problems they faced. They were soulmates but sometimes she felt as if they were not meant to be. That's why God was giving them all the problems just to hint them that. But she still loved Serkan. She knew it was not his mistake, he was in a fucking plane crash, he lost his memories and he was being drugged. But she couldn't bring herself to face him.
Serkan everyday brought flowers for Eda, her favourite lilies and roses and would hand them to Melo who would put it in Eda's room. Eda knew it was Serkan getting her flowers. Somedays instead of soups and salads, she would get pancakes in her meal trays and she knew it was Serkan. She would see him sitting down with his head in his hands and back leaned against the corridor wall when the door opened. She could feel his presence everyday around her but she didn't know what to say when she would see him. She refused to meet him. She was glad he was giving her time and space to heal and not trying to push him back into her life.
On the other hand, Serkan was loosing hope everyday. He would come back with flowers everyday hoping that today would be the day he would get to give them to Eda himself but it felt like he would never see that day. Eda wasn't ready to see him. He felt miserable and sad and cried all the time. He was losing hope but he didn't want to. He swore to himself that he would try to make up to Eda till his death. Meanwhile, he had also filed cases against Selin on various charges and he was being called to court and police station again and again. All these things were taking a toll on him. He had to again and again confess to the court about his health and the betrayal he faced. Betrayal by his closest friend, his mother hiding his whereabouts from Eda, nobody from his family and friends trying to support Eda, Eda's misery and miscarriage, his behaviour towards Eda when he returned, he felt like he was falling into a bottomless pit.
However to his surprise, Semiha Yildrim had been supporting him. He hadn't even expected it a percent but she was actually using her influence and her status to avoid Serkan from going to courts and police stations again and again to record his statements. She knew how it felt to lose a child and she saw how tormented Serkan was and how he was not giving up on Eda. So she did use her influence and money in a positive way this time.
Melo had the first row seat to all this. She was seeing both the souls getting tormented daily and she thought it was time to take things in her hands. She couldn't see them breaking more. So it was almost 2 days before Serkan had to one final time appear in court and give his statement, reciting all the events that happened since he was on that doomed plane. And it was the day Eda was going to be discharged from hospital.
She knocked on Eda's door and went inside when Eda nodded. She sat down on her bed in front of her and held her hand.
"Dada, please don't think that I am saying you are wrong. Please listen to me once. Dada, I love you the most in the whole world but dada please, please, eniste cannot handle it alone anymore. He is on the verge of breaking. He needs you as much as you need him. Please dada, let him come in. Talk to him once. He is miserable."
She told Eda about the court case and about hearings as well as that final court hearing that was going to happen in 2 days and how tormenting it was for Serkan to discuss his vulnerabilities in front of judges, lawyers and media personnel.
Eda knew he was fighting a court case but she didn't know he was going through so much. She knew how much difficult it was for Serkan to let out his emotions and weaknesses in front of strangers. And he was doing it all so silently. She cried and told Melo she would talk to him.
She was going to be discharged that day. So she was a little happy to be out of the four walls of her hospital room.
Her discharge papers were approved and she walked out of the room smiling a little. Serkan was there standing on one side but he thought she wouldn't want to see him, so he turned to leave but Eda called him out and Serkan felt like he was breathing again.
"Serkan. Wait. Don't go."
Serkan turned back with tears in his eyes. It was like that hope had relighted itself in his heart.
"Eda, are you okay? How are you?"
Eda smiled a little at him and nodded his head. It was enough for Serkan. He was happy that she was talking to him.
She started walking again with the help of Melo but when she arrived the elevator, she knew she couldn't do it. Not alone. Not without Serkan. So, she turned back to look for him and he came forward smiling at her. But to her surprise, rather than letting her in the elevator, he picked her up and carried her down the stairs. 5 floors.
Eda kept staring at him throughout the stairs while Serkan wasn't sure if he could do the same. He didn't want to push Eda further away.
When they reached the parking, he wasn't sure if Eda wanted to go with him. So he made her sit in Semiha hanim's car and closed the door.
He went back to his car and sat down and sobbed. He couldn't control his tears. It felt like after 3 months he was finally breathing. 3 months after that damned plane crash. He finally felt warmth in his heart and he hoped things would be okay.
Eda has hoped that he would take him in his car but she understood that he was giving her space.
they reached home. Eda and Ayfer's home. And Serkan had come there too. He watched from the door as Melo and Ayfer helped Eda settle down. He turned back and was about to leave for his home when Eda stopped him.
"Serkan, stay please."
So he stayed, he asked Ayfer if he could sleep on her living room couch and she agreed.
It was almost midnight. Serkan was sleepless as all other nights. He hadn't slept in days. He was exhausted but he couldn't sleep. He heard someone coming down the stairs, so he closed his eyes. A minute later, he felt warmth near him. He knew this scent without fail. It was Eda. His heart stopped at the closeness. Eda bent down and slipped in his blanket with him. She kept her head on his chest and wrapped her arm around Serkan's waist. It was this what lead to Serkan's sob and a tear falling down from his face on Eda's. Eda looked up at him and he was crying silently. She hugged him tightly and he let out a sob and she cried as well.
Hours passed by and they were holding each other and crying as if trying to get out all the sorrow they had in their hearts. She stood up at almost dawn and pulled Serkan with him into her room. She laid down and opened her arms for him to settle into. For first time in months, they could sleep. They slept peacefully.
It was almost afternoon next day when they woke up. Nobody had wanted to wake them up knowing that things were finally looking up. Eda woke up first and he looked at Serkan sleeping on her chest. She ran her hands down his back and arms and she could feel his loss of weight. He had lost weight. He was not as muscular as earlier and it broke Eda's heart. Serkan stirred in his sleep and opened his eyes to look at Eda. He smiled a little and Eda smiled back.
Eda was the first one to speak.
"Serkan, I lost our baby. I am sorry"
"Eda, shh. It wasn't your fault."
They both were again crying but they knew they had to take all out. And only the two of them were in this pain, so only they could heal each other.
"Serkan, I couldn't take care of it. I knew it but I wasn't eating or sleeping properly. I am to blame."
"Eda, no. No. The only person to blame is me. I put you in so much stress. Eda, please forgive me. I am sorry. Will you ever be able to forgive me?"
"Serkan, it was destined to happen. It was our fate. Don't blame yourself for it. I know it is difficult for you as well. You were being given wrong medicines, you were manipulated. You were mentally violated. I don't blame you Serkan."
"Eda, I know you don't love me anymore.
But please, please don't hate me. I can live without your love but not with your hate. Please Eda, I will do anything that you want me to do. Please don't push me away. I can't breathe without you. If you want time and space, I am ready to give it to you. I am willing to dedicate my whole life to you. Please Eda."
Eda cried hard and buried her face in his neck.
"Serkan, I loved you."
Serkan's heart stopped at this. Loved.
"Serkan, I will love you all my life. But I need time to heal. Please give me some time."
Serkan could finally breathe again. She still loved him, she just needed time and he was willing to give all the time she wanted.
Serkan nodded and smiled at her and pulled her in his arms. She let out sobs. They will be okay, he knew it now.
Then Eda spoke against his neck.
"Serkan, are you okay? How long since you haven't slept and how long since you are not eating? Serkan I know the court case is taking a toll on you. Please talk to me about it. Please don't go through it alone. I am sorry I wasn't there for you."
Serkan smiled but he didn't want to burden her.
"Eda. I don't want to burden you. I will do it on my own. One last time tomorrow. And then it will be over."
"Serkan, talk to me. Please. I know it is hurting you."
Serkan knew Eda's stubbornness. So he spoke softly.
"Eda, when your grandmother told me, and when my memories came back, it felt like I was a toy who was played by Selin. Eda, I felt violated. She played with my mind. With me. With you. I couldn't sleep. I couldn't eat. I felt guilty for hurting you, our baby. I didn't deserve to live or to love. Eda I wanted to die but I couldn't do it again to you. I owed you my life. I wanted to run and hug you tightly telling you I wouldn't go anywhere without you again but you didn't want to see me. I lost hope but I was adamant to not leave your side again even if you didn't want me. I would see you every time someone walked in or out of the room and curse myself for causing you this much of pain. I would hear your cries and sobs at night and I wouldn't be able to even close my eyes or eat anything without puking it out. I know I don't deserve you Eda. Please if possible forgive me. I am no one without you."
Eda was crying, she didn't know he was going through so much. She had been so consumed in her own pain, she didn't even want to see that Serkan was suffering too. After all, he also lost a child.
"Serkan, I have forgiven you. I never blamed you in the first place. But just know that it will take time to things going back to normal. But know I will always be there for you just like you have been for me for past few days. Thank you for not giving up on me. Thank you Serkan for getting me the flowers everyday and for pancakes. " Eda smiled a little and hugged him tighter.
They remained in each other's embrace the whole day. Nobody disturbed them. Only Melo once who brought them food and they ate it properly after a long time of not eating. It was finally feeling a bit peaceful.
The next morning, Eda woke up and saw Serkan getting ready. He was supposed to be at court today to give his statement. He felt awful because it was public hearing and media was allowed to sit in as well. His face was dull and sad. By the end of today, his face and Eda's would be all over news channels and gossip websites and he already was dreading it. Selin would also be in news but he didn't care about her. What mattered him the most was, people would gossip and spread fake news about Eda as well and he was sure Eda was not ready to face it. Eda was observing his expressions while he got ready oblivious to Eda staring him.
Eda spoke softly.
"Serkan, gunaydin. Don't worry, everything will be okay. It's going to end today."
"Gunaydin Eda, I hope so. You take care. Please eat something. I will see you in a few hours."
Eda was surprised. She didn't know that he was going alone.
"Serkan, I am coming with you. You won't do this alone. I will ready in a few minutes. Please wait."
"Eda, no. I can't let you go. There's going to be media reporters and Selin and allegations thrown at you and me. Please, I don't want to see you getting hurt more."
But Eda was adamant on going and Serkan had to agree at last.
They stepped out of the car hand in hand avoiding reporters asking them all kinds of questions. The hearing started and it was painful for Eda to see Serkan going through his trauma again and again and this was the first time she was hearing it from him. His plane crash, his emotional chaos in mind and everything he endured in the past 2 months. Eda cried all through it only to be reassured by Serkan that he was doing okay every few minutes by eye contact.
It was a long case and judges finally gave Selin a good amount of years in custody and Serkan was relieved it was over. He was exhausted and drained. He was weak but he didn't want to show it to the world. He came to Eda to ask her if she was okay.
Eda smiled at the care of Serkan. He himself was breaking apart but he was making sure if she was okay. She held his hand and took him to his car again avoiding the questions that reporters were throwing at them. She sat down on the drivers seat of Serkan's car and he sat on the other side looking at Eda. She drove away without saying anything and Serkan realised that they were moving towards his apartment. Their apartment.
They went in and Serkan could no longer control. He broke down. He had endured enough today. Eda held him tight against her and kept running her hands in his hair and on his back to soothe him down.
"Thank you Eda. Thank you for staying by my side today. I don't know how I would have done it without you. You are my breathe."
"I am no one without you Serkan. You are my life."
They kissed each other and hugged not letting each other go.

A fews months later, they had moved in together to a new apartment. It was definitely not like earlier but they were healing from their traumas. They were in a relationship, but they both had their share of bad days every now or then. Somedays Eda wouldn't talk to anyone, she would prefer to stay alone, sleep alone (only to slip in back with Serkan in their other room and Serkan loved it) and somedays Serkan would have nightmares, cry himself to sleep in Eda's arms. But they were getting back to loving each other day by day and forgetting their painful past behind.

3 years later
It was their second wedding anniversary and they were celebrating it in Paris in their hotel room enjoying their candle light dinner from the balcony that had the amazing view of Eiffel Tower. It was then Eda decided to start this conversation. It had been on their minds for a long time but both didn't know how to voice it.
"Serkan, I want to talk to you about something."
"Of course hayatim, anything you want. I am listening."
"Serkan, I was thinking.. maybe. I mean. We can try. Means.."
She was hesitating to say it out aloud.
"Askim, Eda, come on don't hesitate. We should try what?"
"Serkan can we please try for a baby? I mean we can consult our doctor once if it would be safe considering my miscarriage earlier. But only if you are comfortable with having a baby."
She had tears in her eyes as she was anticipating Serkan's answer.
Serkan stood up from the chair and took Eda's hand in his. He pulled her close and spoke.
"Of course Eda. I have wanted nothing more than having a baby with you. It's the dream of my life. Evet, let's talk to our doctor when we go back home. And don't you stress yourself for it. We will be okay. We will have a baby."
Eda sobbed a little and put her head on his chest. They were waiting to talk about this for a long time and finally it felt like a weight was lifted off their shoulders.
Serkan spoke up mischievously.
"So Eda hanim, what do you say? Do we start practising from today itself?"
Eda giggled and punched him slightly on his arms. She blushed as she spoke.
"Evet Serkan bey, I think we need to practice a lot for it."
She pulled him inside and closed the balcony door behind her kissing him passionately.

An year later
They had got a green signal from their doctor about planning a pregnancy when they came back from their Paris trip. A few weeks later, they had found she was pregnant and their happiness was beyond measure. Everything was finally okay. Of course her pregnancy was slightly more risky and cautious than others but she didn't mind her husband taking care of her 24 hours a day. And finally today she had given birth to their first child. Their daughter. Kiraz Bolat.
And only happy times were to follow them from now on. No more sorrows, Serkan and Eda thought to themselves.

The End!
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So this was the fastest I have updated any chapter. But I wanted to complete it at the earliest.
PS:- I do read all the comments on my stories. So Thankyou everyone for your appreciations and sorry for not replying to you all individually.