Uchiha Collision (Sequel of Uchiha Corp)

The Right Choice- Part 1 Journal

A/n: Maybe a much-awaited Y/n POV. Maybe, lol. Please know that this chapter will cover a lot that has happened to Y/n. That being said: TRIGGER WARNING.

-------

Everything that's happened in my life has resulted from choices others made. That was what I always thought. At some point, it became my fault. Nothing but my own actions led me to where I am today. Alone. In a hotel room.

When I decided not to move back to Konoha after graduating from boarding school, that was my first choice as an adult.

The job at the diner rather than at the hospital.

Not going into nursing.

Dating Kakashi.

Staying in Kiri after Kakashi left me.

Zabuza. I don't regret Zabuza. I wouldn't have Kikyo.

That was another choice I made. Trying to kill myself. Suicide seemed like such an easy choice. It was. The easy way out. For me, not for anyone else. It would've destroyed Zabuza. And how would my parents have felt?

Next came Ry. That was probably the dumbest decision I had ever made. But that choice led me to the knowledge that came in handy with Madara.

Madara. I knew better. When the FBI came to me with the offer,  I knew I should've taken the 18 months in prison with witness protection afterward. I was a fool.

I still am a fool. Thinking I can win this battle again against the same man. He knows my weaknesses. He knows my strength. He knew more than he ever would've admitted until now.

While I have plenty of information on him, I don't know if it's enough. His weakness is me. How can I use myself to my advantage? Use myself against him? Is it possible? It has to be.

After taking the case, I should've known better than to let myself sleep with Obito. Do I regret it?

Maybe a little. Would I take it back if I could? Not likely. That man means the world to me.

Sleeping with Itachi- that was a dumb move.

Sleeping with Sasuke- that was to prove a point.

Sleeping with Shisui- that was a mistake.

Kakashi and Zabuza, again, we love what we know.

Kiba- I wanted someone to want me without strings attached.

Shikamaru- that was purely for fun.

Getting tangled up with Madara the way I did? I don't think that was avoidable.

Izuna- we all know how that turned out. Maybe if I had fucked him willingly the first time around, he wouldn't have done it.

Then there was Shisui the second time. That was really an error. That was the tipping point for

Obito. Especially after finding out how Shisui felt.

Let's not forget the Senju brothers. While that evening may have been enjoyable, it was pointless for the case.

Maybe it was all pointless. Meaningless. Too late now.

All of it is too late.

I was too late.

Obito was too late.

The choices you make in life lead you to where you are. At some point, you have to hold yourself accountable for your decisions in life. No matter how minuscule they may seem, you choose to do them. You decided to act on them. It lies upon you to change your current position, no one else.

Hate your job- find a new one.

Hate your home- find a new one.

Hate your partner- leave them.

And while a lot of you may think that life isn't that simple, you're right. But nothing in life is easy. No one ever said that life is easy. Life is hard. Life isn't fair. Grow up, and move on. Grab life by the horns and own that shit.

I should heed my own advice at this point. I digress as well.

I write this on the off chance that something happens to me. Whether I give into the dark temptation and end it all. Or, Danzo or Madara manages to kill me. I doubt that's what Madara wants, but I don't honestly know what his end game is.

I write this for myself to let the emotions go that I've bottled up for far too long. I write this for my daughters, so they might know why I've done what I've done. Finally, I am writing this for my husband. While we may not be with one another now, I still love you dearly. You will always hold my heart, Obito, whole or torn apart; it's yours.

I'm focusing on the choices I've made because they brought us ALL here to where we are today. And the choices I've made to move forward with will lead us to places that I don't know we can leave from. But I will go, head held high, and follow through on the actions I intend to take.

First, I will go to Suna and see Rasa. Then, that will lead me to Tora, who I've been avoiding. Danzo's death will be on my hands, and I have no regret doing so.

I'm still heartbroken that Zabuza lied to me for so long. And I'm sorry to everyone for not telling you once I found out. I'm sorry for all the secrets that will come to light over the next few weeks, or months, or even years. But, I will continue to write, allowing those secrets to come to light in case of my death.

There will be one thing that I will never put onto paper. I will tell you where it is hidden, though. Once it's safely tucked away in a place, no one could ever find it, and I will write it down. I can't live with myself to know that I've held this from everyone, but I must. I can't bear to say the words aloud.

My thoughts are scattered as I pen them to the paper. I can't focus. I haven't been able to. After leaving the penthouse and driving to Kiri, I've been trying to piece everything together. To find the exact moment, I took the very action that brought us to this moment. Where did I go wrong to push Obito into the arms of another woman?

Not just that, what did I do to make Obito want to forget? To take that pill and go out drinking? Those are ideas Obito would never follow through on. He's always wanted things to be in his control. He lost control, and this was the result.

Where will I be in a week? A month? A year? I don't even know where I'll be tomorrow.

Forgive me. Whoever reads this, forgive me. All of you have loved me unconditionally. All I've ever done is lay out one condition in front of the other before I've loved you. I've ruined countless lives with the things I've done. I've cost people their lives with the actions I've taken; even the inaction has caused death in my wake.

I don't deserve your forgiveness. I deserve nothing. I've earned nothing. With the love and kindness that you've all shown me, I'm unworthy. I deserve the hell that death has prepared for me. That's part of why taking my life with my own two hands is appealing. Hence, the CHOICE to meet death at the gates of hell, rather than not seeing it coming.

Choices, make the right one. You never know where it'll lead you.