Natasha Romanoff One Shots

Bad Call

It was so quiet you could hear a pin drop. Usually on the way back from missions, whether good or bad there would be some sort of conversation going on. Nope, not today. Today the team failed, and I mean big time. And it was your fault. Every time you looked up someone was glaring at you. Natasha couldn't even look at you, and she was your best friend.

You made a bad call, in the moment it seemed right, but now... now you don't even know. You could have sworn you heard people screaming for help. But when you got there to help there was no one there. And that left half the team without cover.

Yelena, Kate, Peter, and Nat all got badly beaten and bruised because of your call.

Halfway through the flight it seemed as though the all righteous Captain America had had enough of the silence and began to yell. The moment he raised his voice you flinched and you froze. But he didn't seem to care. It was one thing after another until he yelled "I should have known better... especially with your past I should have known you'd leave someone to get hurt." And that, that right there stung. You started trembling due to panic. You'd only been with the team for six months and you thought they trusted you. But evidently you were wrong when Steve threw your past right back in your face. When no one spoke up you knew that the team didn't have an ounce of trust with you.

The Quinjet landed and you did your best to hide your tremors and panic as you went to the mission debrief where Steve spent the next half hour berating and yelling at you while slamming things in front of the team and Nick Fury. Who watched you intently. No one else seemed to notice the flinches and tremors and fear in your eyes but he did. As he looked to Natasha who he thought would notice too, until he realized she was looking at the ground not paying attention.

Steve was about to launch into another round of yelling when Fury said that it was enough. He asked everyone but you to leave the room. After about a minute of you sitting there frozen in panic and fear... the trembling had gotten worse now. He sat down near you and said "it's ok, your safe."

Your eyes snapped up faster than the speed of light. You thought you hid everything well, but apparently not, and Nick seemed to know where your train of thought went when he said "I spent years with Nat learning how to read subtleties, I think I'm the only one who noticed."

With that your tremors started to die down, but they didn't completely stop. He provided some sort of comfort, he always did. When you realized Fury wasn't going to say anything else you got up to leave, and as you left you whispered "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."

You walked past the team as they were eating dinner, they stopped to stare at you and you knew you weren't welcome at that table. Nat couldn't even look at you so you went to bed without dinner that night.

It didn't get better either. Steve, Sam and Tony didn't let up on the comments and no one else seemed to care enough to stop them. Little by little you started withdrawing yourself from them, and little by little your will to live was dwindling.

It got to the point where you were training nonstop and almost never ate. You conditioned yourself to believe that you were in the wrong, that you screwed up so bad that you deserved this. When I'm reality you didn't screw up, and if someone were to just look at your cam footage from that mission they would know.

It got so bad to where you had to ask fury to take you off missions, because you were constantly in fear of someone getting hurt again because of you. Fury agreed, but his heartaches for you. He's the one who recruited you to the team, and told you about how they treated everyone like family. He knew how much you love you held for people. But you never got to see that "family" and now he's the only one who saw you becoming a shell of a person. Or so he thought.

Yelena had noticed you slowly losing yourself, slowly hurting yourself and slowly become fearful of the team, especially Steve. But she didn't know what to do. That was until Tony finally got around to watching the cam footage from that awful mission and he finally saw and heard what you did, after days of research he found out that they used a voice mimicking device to mimic people in trouble. Yelena was on her way to talk to Tony and she watched all the footage with him.

It was the two of them that brought everything to the team. It was the two of them who explained what happened and it was almost the two of them who yelled at everyone until Fury showed up and did it for them.

Fury got word of a team meeting that didn't include you so he made his way to the conference room faster than most people would. It was then Fury who yelled at them, Fury who made them feel shame and it was Fury who played them footage and pointed out every time you flinched, trembled and panicked at being screamed at by Steve. He made sure to point out every single time you flinched or showed fear towards the team because of how they treated you. And it was Fury who got in Steve's face and told him he'd never see the light of day again if he EVER threw your past in your face again or made you flinch in fear.

God did Steve feel so much guilt, so did everyone but it seemed as though Nat and Steve felt it the most. Steve because of how much fear he made you feel towards him and the team and Nat because she was your best friend and she treated you awfully.

The team tried to get glimpses of you over the next couple days to talk but you had your schedule down pact, but you also couldn't get out of bed. Everything you had been doing to your body had finally caught up to you. And the team couldn't find you, that was until Friday issued and emergency alert informing them you were unconscious on your floor with your heart barely beating.