Natasha Romanoff One Shots

Let it Be Me pt. 2

An: i'm not too sure how I feel about this part, struggled with a little bit of writer's block and this is the best we could do.

Yelena couldn't find you for months and it was as if every lead led her further and further from you. She realized that finding you would be difficult, especially because she practically shattered your heart when she told you it should have been you and not Natasha.

God shes been an awful sister to you. She spent all that time hating you and Clint that she never stopped to think about not only how it affected you, but the fact that you'd be struggling as bad as she was... if not worse.

Yes she was sad and angry at the world that she didn't get to say goodbye, but she was even angrier at herself for how she treated you. She wasn't the only one to lose Nat, Nat quite literally slipped through your fingers.

When her and Fanny arrive at Nat's grave for their monthly visit Yelena could hear the faint sound of someone crying. And when she realized it was you she almost ran to you. To hold you, to apologize, to be there for you.

That was until she heard you talking to Nat's grave in between sobs.

"Nat I don't know why you ever thought that you had to be the one to jump. Why you had to give your life for mine. Your ledger has been clean for years... and I don't know if you can see what's going on down here BUT IM NOT NEEDED HERE!" You all but screamed the last part at the grave as if she could hear you.

Your voice was breaking as you continued to talk to Nat's grave. "Clint and his family needs you, yelena needs you, the world needs you... but no one, no one needs me. Im so mad at you, you left me alone here. Everyone is hurting without you here, but it would hurt less if it was me.... It should have been me. Even Yelena thinks it should have been me... why couldn't you have let it be me"

Yelena's heart shattered even more than she thought possible. But she made the mistake of stepping on branch and the crack of it caused you to jump and panic.

You rambled apology after apology to Yelena for being here or anywhere near her as you tried to walk away as fast as you could.

But before you could get to far Yelena grabbed you and pulled you into her. Both of you breaking down.

You because you just needed someone, anyone really to comfort you. If that person happened to be your sister, even better because her and Natasha always knew that you needed physical touch for comfort. You always have.

But Yelena, god she had years to make up for. Not just from the blip, but also from the couple years she avoided you once coming back.

Yelena started running her hands through your hair in an attempt to stop you from hyperventilating while you were crying. When your sobs started to subside is when Yelena finally began to spoke.

"маленький (little one), I wish I could take back how I treated you these last couple years. You've had to go through so much and I took my anger at the world out on you instead of being there for you."

She paused and took a deep breath trying to stop the tears that were forming, threatening to fall down her face. And when she started talking you could hear the emotion in her voice.

"I don't ever wish it was you. I know what said, but I didn't mean it. You have to believe me when I say that there is never a universe I live in that I wish you had given your life instead. You are so, so important to me and I hate that I made you feel as if I felt anything less than that. We both know Natasha was going to do it regardless, but I hope someday you'll believe me when I say there will never be a day I'm not thankful that it wasn't you, or both of you.... I don't know what I would have done if I lost both of you."

With tears streaming down her face she finally got you to look at her. And you looked at her for a while trying to analyze everything about her to see if she was lying.

Yelena shuffled a bit and you clutched on tighter to her shirt and a whispered "please don't leave me again" slipped out of your mouth before you could even think to stop it.

Yelena only tightened her hold on you before replying "never."