Zander: (hugs Luke from behind softly kissing his neck)
Zander, whispering: fucking touch my piano again and I'll shove it up your fucking ass
——
Hailey: so Zander told me he had a crush. On a boy. A boy who we know. Who had auburn hair. And has golden eyes. And who's last name is Peterson.
Luke: oh shoot fr? I hope him and Jake are happy together.
Hailey: are you fucking kidding me
——
Milly: what if I pour vodka into my cereal instead of milk?
Zander, taking the flask as he walks by: what if you don't.
——
Zander, on the phone with in exterminator: yes, hi, I have a rat problem-
Sean, taking the phone away: for the last time we're not getting rid of Jake
——
Elliott: (pacing in his bedroom) I'm so useless, I can't believe how stupid I am, I can't do anything right, I..
Milly, sat on the bed casually watching YouTube: hey watch it, that's my husband your talking about
Elliott, in tears: babe
——
Ms. J, loudly in middle of quiet class: your having trouble writing straight
Luke, stressed: I'm having trouble being straight.
——
Hailey: if you could bring one person to a deserted island with you, who would it be?
Zander: Milly
Milly: why
Zander: because if I have to suffer then so do you.
——
Jake, over text: what can I say? I'm charming and irresponsible.
Jake: *irresistible
——
Bethany: *points to dead squirrel in the road* he was a boy
Zander: how can you tell?
Bethany: he was stupid
——
Sean: I read that one out of every four people is gay
Sean: so that means that one of you guys are gay
Luke: then I hope it's Zander hes really cute
Jake: no way I hope it's Drew hes cuter
Sean: well I have some news for you guys
——
Zander: uhm well my names Zander, short for Alexander. Maybe we can call you 'Mil', short for Milly?
Milly:
Milly: Milly is already short for Millicent you dipshit.
——
Liam: bros before hoes
Liam: but what if your bro is your hoe?
Henry: LIAM😏
——
Milly: hey Luke, did you know that thot means thoughtful person?
Luke: really? I didn't know this slang.
(Later)
Luke: thanks so much for helping me out with the his, Hailey. You're such a thot.
Hailey: im a WHAT?
——
Zander: I personally find Milly adorable and very small, not to mention easy to pick up
Milly, squirming in Zander's arms above the ground: just cause I'm shorter than you DOESNT mean you can MAKE FUN OF MY HEIGHT
Zander: *starts swaying her back and forth* aww aren't you just the cutest
——
Liam: ten years ago today, I married my best friend.
Everyone: awww!
Liam: Drew is still annoyed about it, but Henry and I were drunk and thought it would be funny
——
Luke: Zander and I broke up platonically
Sean: what the fuck does that even mean
Zander: we're dating, Sean. It means that Luke and I are dating.
