Ecstasy

The Woman I Worry

"Brown guilty eyes and little white lies 

Yeah, I played dumb but I always knew

That you'd talk to her, maybe did even worse." 

- Excerpt from traitor by Olivia Rodrigo

LORENZO ANTONOV

I scan the papers of clients' orders trying to figure out which one I want to choose.

My door flings open and I shoot my head up in surprise and once seeing the person who caused the unnecessary ruckus my face drops in pure annoyance.

Natalie.

What does this girl want?

I'm beating the shit out of whoever the hell let her inside my house.

She collapses on the seat, crossing her arms and legs. "Why does it seem like I can never find you?" she huffs out.

I wonder why?

"Because I don't want to be found, especially by the likes of you," I grumble, scanning the papers for a fifth time trying to give her the hint that I'm busy.

"Why are you treating me, your fiance, this way?"

I roll my eyes. I don't want to be your fiance that's why but she obviously won't get the hint.

Dumb bitch.

"'Cause I can. Plus, I don't want to be your fiance but I have no other choice."

After she hears my words, her nose scrunches up in complete annoyance. I can't believe I once thought that face was pretty.

"If you don't hang out with me, I'll tell Zhara," she threatens. She thinks I'm that scared of Mama.

Which I am but still. I'm not going to show her that.

"Okay, and? So what?"

"Zhara told me that you said that you wanted to marry me," she says as she begins to get her whiny voice. Once again, I'm still confused on why I thought she was pretty.

I actually wanted to marry her.

"Mama says a lot of things that I don't fucking like or are complete lies," I grumble, "I don't WANT to marry you, I have to."

Upon saying that, Natalie looks really mad. I don't know if Zhara told her the truth or not but she doesn't look happy.

She looks down and then back up at me and she goes to say something but keeps her mouth shut.

Good, I don't have to hear her voice anymore... she's beginning to get whiny.

"Now, can you leave please," I demand, hoping she would actually listen to me for once.

This is why I broke up with her and I'm happily with Brielle.

She stands up in frustration and whines, "No! I want you and I know fully well you want me too, you're just too prideful to admit it."

I chuckle at this woman's ridiculousness. She's not wrong but it should be past instead of present tense. I wanted her but now I don't. Not after she cheated on me.

This is only bringing up bad memories.

"I don't want you. Natalie, this is an arranged marriage not a traditional one. I don't love you."