Ecstasy

obligation AND preference

"sometimes you have options, but no choice" 

- Excerpt from anon.

It's Hannah's birthday and I'm being driven to her house by Cai. He volunteered to drive me there because he's visiting Zhara so they could both fly down and see his parents.

Lorenzo and I haven't spoken at all and when I left to go to this party, Natalie was glued to his hip, following him like a little pet.

Well I am the reason why we haven't talked. I've just been ignoring him every second.

I still find what's happening between Lorenzo and Natalie completely unreal.

After telling Han the truth last month, after two weeks she contacted me again saying she's not mad but a bit hurt and she understood that. She broke up with Zion the second she got home and didn't want to speak to him. She told me she wanted her best friend back and I did too.

I still haven't told her what had happened recently.

We arrive at Anna's house and I thank Cai for dropping me off.

I open the door but before I could leave Cai says something.

"I'm on your side but this situation isn't entirely Lorenzo's fault."

I consider what he says for a second but I don't reply, instead closing the car door.

How could it not be Enzo's fault?

I walk inside Anna's house, looking at the pretty flowers decorating the exterior. I ring the doorbell and Hannah answers.

"God, you always take forever to come," Anna teases, letting me inside the house.

"What can you expect? I live literally two hours away," I explain and she slaps me playfully on the shoulder.

I miss this woman.

I follow her to her dining room where around ten men and women sit. There are also other children and I try to spot Cassidy running around with them to no avail.

"She's probably in the backyard," Anna tells me and I nod.

She introduces me to her other work friends explaining a little bit about how we met. Obviously not mentioning the strip club.

People are very judgy.

Plus it's not a proper place to say it especially with little kids around. They probably don't even know the word "stripper" and that would be an awkward conversation for later.

I also found out that everyone is much older than me. I'm only 20 while everyone was no younger than 25.

Well, except Hannah who's turning 21.

The party was very nice. Even better, Hannah's friends weren't judgy in the slightest and were very friendly. I actually liked talking to them.

Being here makes me realize that I barely communicate with people outside the house. Lorenzo, Cai, Dariya, Elijah, Violet... with my best friend, Hannah and my sister, Chloe.

I really need more friends.

During the party, I pulled Hannah aside and asked her if we could talk, one-on-one.

We walk to her bedroom and I sit down on her bed.

"I need to ask you for some advice... about me and Lorenzo."