Ecstasy

The Other Woman

"The other woman will always cry herself to sleep.

The other woman will never has his love to keep

And as the years go by, the other woman will spend her life alone." 

- Excerpt from The Other Woman by Lana Del Ray

 I sit on the chair as Janelle finishes up with the make-up she has planned for me.

"You're rather quiet," Janelle asks with a worried expression on, "Are you alright?"

I force a smile on,"I'm alright," I bluff, "Just staring off into space."

In reality, I was not.

My boyfriend, the love of my life, is getting married to his ex-girlfriend. The one who he said that I shouldn't worry about and that he didn't love.

Our embrace last night destroyed me completely. It was rough getting out of bed this morning. I don't want to go to the wedding.

While I was silently crying, I felt his tears on me as well but...

My eyesight begins getting blurry because I know for a fact that I won't be able to be with him... well publicly... anymore.

Do I still want to be with him?

After the wedding, Natalie and Lorenzo are going on a honeymoon for around four days to a whole week. He doesn't want to but his mother and Natalie want it and... anything to make them happy, right?

Then, he said, after that, he would spend more time with me... one-on-one.

He just... keeps promising that but until last night... nothing has happened between us. No time together at all. He has to worry about Natalie and the baby and...

I swallow, because my eyes are beginning to water and I don't want tears to come down before Janelle really knows what's happening.

Janelle finally finished my hair and make-up and I get up, walking over to the mirror to see my entire attire for the wedding.

I'm wearing a dusty rose dress with lace at the top. Lorenzo bought it for me and I added it with some white flats, not in the mood to wear heels.

You know, I don't recognize myself anymore.

I look... different.

I peer closer in the mirror to find the bags under my eyes from crying and staying up late to find nothing. I look... happy. Normal.

Especially when I'm feeling quite the opposite.

Lorenzo enters the room and moves to go to me but notices Janelle first.

"Janelle, please leave us. Thank you for your time," he says and she bows, grabbing her stuff and leaving the room, closing the door behind us.

Lorenzo wraps his arms around me and puts his face in the crook of my neck.

"YA tebya lyublyu," he mumbles, "I'm so glad you're coming."

He pulls away from me, holding my waist and gives me a big smile. I know he's trying to comfort me but that's not happening. Nothing will be enough to help me through today.

"If you weren't," he says, "I might not be able to go through this at all."

He grabs my face and we stare straight into each other's eyes. I can't mistake the glossiness of his own just like mine is.