Ecstasy

Road Trip to Memory Lane

"Childhood trauma can lead to an adulthood spent in survival mode, afraid to plant roots to plan for the future, to trust, and to let joy in..." 

- Excerpt from anon

BRIELLE WILLIAMS

Lorenzo wanted me to come with him as he goes to Seattle, Washington. He never explained why but he said that my days off work have already been taken care of and he already bought my ticket.

Being fully honest.

I don't want to go.

Chloe lives there. Right there in Seattle. The exact place we're going.

I can't imagine seeing my sister after five long years of barely holding any interaction with her.

I always looked up to my parents when it came to falling in love. They were so in love with each other that I believed them more than in any other fairy tale that girls my age would talk about.

I knew they were in love until I was 10. When, they being in love turned into something else.

The last thing my family did as a 'family' was going to the aquarium.

I love the aquarium. Now, not so much.

Does my sister still love going to the aquarium? I have no idea. I barely speak to her. I wasn't able to speak to her.

When I was 11, the arguments started getting more consistent but I continued believing in them. Every couple argues, right, it's a normal part of life. It happens between people.

Not everybody is perfect.

My parents are definitely not perfect. They never got back to being in love. When I was 12 years old, they ended up getting divorced. I was heart-broken. My perfect family that was so in love... stopped.

It's gone now.

In court, I thought they would've had joint custody. My parents love both of their kids. I was so afraid that Chloe and I would be separated.

Me and my beloved sister.

My father fought to keep Chloe. Permanently. I thought the judge wouldn't stand for that because that seems unfair. Why separate two siblings away from each other?

I thought wrong.

My father was able to permanently take my sister and I because of my mom's emotional state. Maybe they would take me too.

No.

I was dragged to be with my mom and that day was probably the last time I would normally see my sister.

My mother was an absolute wreck and neglected me, emotionally and physically. She didn't take the divorce well and instead of taking care of the both of us...

She ignored me.

If she wasn't going to give me the attention I needed, I thought it would be best to get it from someplace else.

I fell into the wrong crowd. Drugs, smoking, drinking, partying, sex. All sorts of things.

My mom and I fought every single day. My grades were going down and I'm not the genius I'm said to be. She degraded and insulted me because she didn't feel good about herself.

I ended up getting into a bad relationship. Now, I know how wrong that was and how I'm a victim but at the time, I didn't understand.

I made the wrong mistake and at the age of 14 met a 17 year old man who I used to call my boyfriend. I was caught having sex.