Ecstasy

Sexual Tension

"You don't know what you did, did to me 

Your body lightweight speaks to me." 

- Excerpt from Under the Influence by Chris Brown

"I, Judge Brad Shaw, hereby grant the defendant guilty and will be sentenced a three-year restraining order. Case dismissed," he says as he bangs his gravel.

I'm...

Guilty?

Everything is a blur, along with my field of vision. The only thing I can see is the brown, red, and gray spots of colors in the courtroom.

Tears are falling down.

What did I do wrong?

I try to scream out but nothing comes out as if my tongue was held out beyond my reach and I can't grab it.

I want to go home.

Where is my home?

I look around and as I'm being carried away by the police officer. My public attorney didn't give a second glance at me. I don't believe she even tried.

I glance at my sister who's being escorted out of the room by my father. I look up at him.

Him.

There's nothing. No sympathetic look. Why would he be sympathetic after he just was granted a restraining order.

Why would he do this to me?

I'm his daughter.

I try to scream out but I can't once again. My father's hatred beams into my body and I feel like my soul is burning.

I'm burning.

I'm dying.

I'm-

I woke up in a fright. I can't control my heartbeat and my breath is irregular.

I look around and I realize that we're still on the flight. I feel something heavy on my head and I look near me seeing Lorenzo's body pressed up against me.

I calm down just a little bit. I'm fine and I'm on a plane, nothing wrong can happen.

I hate that nightmare.

After the incident, I continuously had this nightmare for about three months straight and now I have it whenever I see a family so happy together.

Sometimes people look like him and my sister. I didn't cry, thank god, because I'm on a plane and people would wonder what is happening and I don't need to be causing a scene.

I'm already dramatic enough.

I grab my flat Sprite and finish it. After the nightmare, I feel very parched. I don't remember falling asleep but I am really tired. Now, I don't know but I want this plane ride to go quicker.

If I'm here, I'm stuck with my thoughts and I don't want to be.

When I moved to put back my empty cup, Enzo's head slipped from the top of mine to the crook of my shoulder.

I glance at him and my heart skips a little since he's so close to my face. Why I'm so jumpy with this man being close to me, I have no idea.

I look over at him just a little bit again. He looks so... peaceful sleeping. My eyes roam his face and land on his pink lips. I-