Wenclair One-Shots

Talking to the Moon (Angst)

Summary:

The one in which Enid doesn't make it and Wednesday is blaming herself.

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All the candles were blown out, yet nobody strolled into the room from the dimly lit hallway of Ophelia Hall, and the feeling of yet another failure was the worst kind of torture Wednesday could ever imagine. She jumped to her feet, kicking the candles neatly organized into a circle apart in anguish.

Arriving back to an empty room after the battle with Crackstone was excruciating, especially since she knew that what she's missing will never be in its place again.

It was Ajax who found Enid's body and brought it back to Nevermore tightly wrapped in a pink coat. Wednesday hated how everybody's been walking on eggshells around her ever since that night, so she didn't leave her room unless it was absolutely necessary. On the one hand, it was nice to hide from the pitying stares of her peers. On the other, staying alone all the time meant no hiding from her own thoughts, which have been eating away all the sane parts of her left.

It took her three days without sleep, barely enough food and constant pain to come to the decision to try to reach Enid on the other side. She had too many unsaid things piling up inside of her. She had too much left to say. Things about love, gratitude, and regret. She also knew that she wouldn't even mind not saying any of those things if that meant she could spend the spare minutes listening to Enid's voice for the last time. However, no matter how hard she's been trying, she couldn't reach the other girl, not even for a single second.

After taking a few minutes to calm down, she reorganized the candles in front of the parted window and sat herself down in the middle. She wasn't a quitter, that's not how her parents raised her. This was her thirteenth attempt of reaching her. Giving the spirituality of the number 13, she truly believed this attempt will be the one leading to success.

The room was awfully quiet without the blonde's obnoxious pop music playing, and Wednesday would've given half an arm just to have it annoying her once again.

She lit the candles and grabbed her pendulum again with stubborn determination. She focused on the blonde girl with every ounce of her body and energy. She remembered the enthusiastic smile Enid gave her when they first met. She remembered strolling through campus with her. She almost heard her voice telling her about all the latest gossip of Nevermore. She saw her lean form sitting in front of her in the canoe, mind set on victory, and only that. She felt her grip on her arm when she invited her to celebrate winning the Poe Cup. She remembered their fight, remembered missing her, and then remembered the joy of getting her back. She never thought it will be for such a short time. Then she recalled the girl showing up in her werewolf form to save her from the hyde, and how her eyes softened when she saw Wednesday's still alive.

The candles were blown out again, and Wednesday could've sworn she heard her name being called by the other girl.

"Enid?" she called out, opening her teary eyes wide and looking across their room in hopes of seeing the other girl.

All that she saw was bright colored stuffed animals staring into her soul with their glossy eyes. She stood up trembling, walking over to Enid's side of the room to grab a pink unicorn, the one that used to be on Enid's bed all the time. Wednesday felt a short of breath, so she walked over to the giant window to open it up. The minute the wind blew into the room she collapsed, as if it was the power of a hurricane kicking her off her feet.

She hasn't felt this tight, burning sensation in her throat ever since she was a child. She looked up to the night sky with tears already flowing from her eyes, noticing it was a full moon. She hated how Enid couldn't experience it now that she was finally able to wolf out, and enjoy it with the pack for the first time. She also hated how it was all her fault.

Wednesday held the unicorn close to her chest, holding on to it as tight as she was trying to hold on to her sanity. She caught a whiff of the blonde's perfume on it, which made everything a thousand times worse. The white moon cast light onto her pale face, such a tormented look on it that if somebody who knew her saw it, they wouldn't have recognized the always emotionless girl.

"Enid, I'm so sorry. I'm so terribly sorry." She sobbed, her tears wetting the sleeve of her sweater.

She went on, staring into the moon like it was the piercing blue, always kind eyes of her former roommate. She sat there in hopes that her roommate is hearing her. She wanted her to be listening desperately.

Wednesday's never felt more vulnerable than now, curled into a fetal position with a stuffed unicorn between her arms. It shouldn't have been a stuffed unicorn, it should've been her blonde werewolf there, the one she never hugged, even though she kept on trying. She would've hugged her now. She would've hugged her, and never let go.

"I shouldn't have left you alone with the hyde. I should've let Nevermore burn to the ground and make sure you were safe instead. It's killing me that I could always count on you, and the only time you actually needed me, I wasn't there for you... I'm so sorry."

Before she met Enid, she wasn't sure she had a heart. To be honest, she wasn't sure about it up until the point she realized she lost her, and felt it break. She felt it shatter into such miniscule pieces that it was surely impossible for it to ever be put together again.

"You were... You are the first ever person outside of my family who was important to me. You became my home away from home. Tell me, how is it fair of life to take it all away so suddenly? What did I do wrong? And if it was me who did something wrong, why did you have to be dragged into all of this? I might deserve death, but you never did. I don't know how I am supposed to go on without you. How am I supposed to be okay, how am I supposed to play pretend everything is perfect throughout my life, when nothing is perfect or whole without you here..."

And sitting there, talking to the moon, a gentle breeze from the window they used to share blew across her face as if it was Enid caressing her cheeks from the other side, telling her she will be alright.

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Author - bstr_21

https://archiveofourown.org/users/bstr_21/pseuds/bstr_21