Obsession

76

Hospital.
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"You are going to sleep here for a few nights".

Jeongin spaced out. He looked at bed with slight horror in his eyes, he gulped and looked at the officer beside him. He has definitely met quite a lot of people today, he wasn't used to it. He wasn't used to seeing other people than Chan and Seungmin, he never picked up any other faces than theirs. So his head hurted so much from all this new information he has been receiving, he couldn't understand why he couldn't just go home to his parents, sleep in his bed, and go back to how life was like before the two men took it out of his reach.

"Why?" He mumbled as he looked at the officer, then at the nurse beside him who smiled at him sweetly.

"Jeongin..I know this is a lot to take in, especially right after being missing for four years. But the amount of trauma both the police, the detective, us here from the hospital, has seen physically on you, has concerned us about you physical health. You are covered in scars from head to toe, and you are severely underweight. We promise to be here for you for the time you are staying here with us" The nurse spoke as she guided him to sit on the white, firm hospital bed.

He honestly couldn't care, it's been some rough two days. Going from the house he has called home for the 4 years, to a bookstore who called the police, to drive him to the local police station in Busan, where he was questioned for hours, having to describe and explain every little detail on what happened to him. He couldn't talk more, he just wanted home, and now he was going to stay here, at an exclusive hospital, which fee would being covered by the community. He just wanted his parents, to be in their arms, eat his mother's home cooked dinner. But he couldn't, atleast for now..he felt locked up again.

Chan and Seungmin was right. This wasn't good for him. It stressed him out, punched him in the gut harder than they did.

"I wanna go home" he mumbled, making the tension rise in the room.

"We are aware of that Jeongin. But we can't let you yet. As of what we can see on your physical body, there is indeed laying a lot of mental and emotional trauma beneath all the surface layers of your skin..just cooperate with us, we want the best for you" the woman spoke again, looking down at Jeongin with clear sigjn of concern in her eyes.

Chan and Seungmin must already know he wasn't home anymore. He knew they were angry, but he wasn't going to throw them under the bus, even if they did all these things to him, that he has endured for the past years. He loved them too much, he wanted their arms around him, even if it required a punishment first.

"You can pull in the red string if you need anything alright? The blue is for emergencies, so be careful alright?" With a few more details explained the woman and officer left room. He heard the door lock and he frowned, wondering why they'd had to lock it.

He thought they told him he didn't do something wrong. But he felt like a criminal inside, by how many times he's been locked in a room alone or with someone questioning him. Henwas dazed out, confused to say the least.

"I wanna go home" he mumbled to himself, confused and scared for his life. He stood up on his feet, walking around the hospital. His eyes zoned out completely. He looked around as he strolled across the room, the pants he wore being too big for his liking, the t-shirt he managed to not get backed up, still smelled like Chan. So heavenly. He slid down one of the walls, as he hugged his own body, mimicking the presence of being close to Chan, he wanted to keep something of Seungmins with him too, but he had nothing. He had nothing at all now, he was all alone, feeling lonely.

Maybe it was the guilt, maybe the regret. Either way he did not feel happy with the choice that he made, he felt ashamed, stupid, unfaithful. He couldn't help but to cry, cry and cry, over and over again. He didn't care if he was weird, but he imagined crying on Chan's shoulders burrowing his face deep down the shirt as he hugged himself laying his head in his knees for the support.

He wanted them back, to make this seem so much less scary than what it felt like. He wanted to drown himself in guilt and regret, while Seungmin and Chan watched.

He was so furious on himself, why did he have to run away. He lived just fine there. Sure he was a nobody, but he really did prefer that over than being everywhere, for everyone to look at.

It took him the whole night to cry his heart out, so confused and conflicted when the hospital staff kept coming in with food and water, but he refuses to drink nor eat anything. He just wanted to be alone, atleast at home. He was confronted about it. But he didn't give one to many fucks about it.  He didn't care about the blanket they put over him nor them asking if he wanted to sleep on the bed or in another room. But he denied it, pushing away to blanket without looking at any of them. The nurses left with their job undone, and he wasn't alone on repeat.

It felt like something died inside of him, sure that happened a long time ago, but he genuinely felt like he was missing a part of himself. He missed the savory kisses, the tight hugs, the forgivable sex, the comforting cuddles. He felt bad, he hurted them again, and this time he felt it too. He really wasn't a good person, atleast that's what he loved to tell himself.

Everything felt surreal, it  felt like a fever dream..or even worse a nightmare. His body was shaking as he teared up again, overwhelmed by the amount of encounters he has had already, and none of them has been with his family yet. He just wanted them, fuck this hospital, he just needed his parents. No one else. Everyone else could go to hell in his opinion.

"Jeongin..we know this is really difficult for you, but you need to get back up now..it's not good for your health to keep crying and crying, we understand that it is hard, but you aren't cooperating with us" a familiar voice spoke, and so he looked up to see the same nurse from last evening, smiling down at him.

Jeongin was infuriated by the statement. He had the rights to be upset, it wasn't her who has spend four years of her life locked up, abused, tortured, punished, then magically fell in love with those who did such horrible stuff to her. He was the one that went through that, not her, and he was infuriated how she stated that she could understand, cause what on earth did she know.

"Y-you don't know shit..f-fuck off!" He whimpered as he turned away from her the second he saw the unsatisfied expression on her face.

"Now I would like for you not to yell at me like that. You don't need to transfer your pain onto other people-".

"T-then why the fuck, d-do you work in t-this field!" He yelled, frustration pumping through his veins as he looked up at the nurse who looked offended, sighing but she continued to sit down.

"We need to take blood samples for you, it is mandatory, but we would recommend doing it if you want to go home quicker" the nurse explained.

"J-just go a-away" he mumbled, he didn't want to participate in the discussion anymore. He just wanted his mom and his father, to hug him and kiss him on the forehead.

He wanted the affection he missed so much.