Obsession

77

Pinches.
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He was angry. The red flame that burned inside of him became more and more brutal as the days passed. This was worse than living with Chan and Seungmin for those 4 years. He felt hurt, lied too, betrayed..that they when he watched the news, they spoke about their wishes for him to arrive back home safely. But it was bullshit, this was just adding to the package of untreated trauma, over and over again. He really hoped to see his parents within the first few days. But it's been two weeks, two fucking weeks since he managed to escape the two men, who he loved and adored the most in those four years. He expected justice, but he stil felt objectified.

In the following two weeks, he has been pinched with needles daily, given 6 meals which he had to finish, before having 3 snacks. He wasn't used to this much food, he ate plain food for a living since..well..four fucking years ago.

He was fuming. This was not a peaceful escape, he should have just stayed patient, and not have let his impulse mind take over his actions. He has been standing by the entrance of the hospital for an hour now, waiting for his mother to come get him. And to say once again, he was upset. They had texted his mother 2 hours prior about him being discharged. They have waited an hour for her to come and get her son home, to the house they lived in peacefully before any of this big mess happened. But he wasn't angry for her not being there on time...no, he was upset that his mother, whose son has been missing for years, has finally showed up, ready to go home, yet she was taking a good while to get there.

He felt like he should atleast be more important, especially after her crying multiple times on national TV. He was fed up with everything, stressed, about to break loose. He have been involved with so many people who has asked him questions, demanded stuff from him, complained to him about how incorporative he was, he has been filmed, photographed, flashed by multiple lights, for 2 weeks now. The window in his hospital room had to be covered by foil, due to people taking pictures from afar. He couldn't believe his case has been such a big deal. He was beyond shocked but also upset.

He wanted the world to go away. They had nothing to do up in his business.

"Jeongin!" He heard the faint voice of a woman yelling, following by rapid footsteps across the floor. Jeongin turned to look as to where the commotion originated, only to see his mother come running down the hall towards him.

But Jeongin just stood there, flabbergasted by how different his mother loomed. She has grown out her hair, got quite ton of gray hairs here and there, her figure has slimmed down a bit, and more wrinkles were prominent. She had heavy eyebags and dark circles, red eyes and rosy cheeks. Has this woman even slept one bit? That was all he could think as his own mother looked up at him with shining eyes, cupping his face as she cried in the realization  that they had their son back.

But Jeongin still couldn't process his emotions. He wanted to hug his mother, but it felt so awkward this given moment, his anger has turned into confusion, the mother she was, didn't look like her old self. He knew people changed how they look, but she didn't look like she has been eating nor sleeping well for quite a while..and it hurted him to see.

"I-it's really you!" She exclaimed through a tiny stutter, but Jeongin still couldn't speak a word. He wanted to keep a bit of distance between his mom and himself, he wasn't used to this exposure..atleast he knew where he got his stupid stutter from.

"Miss Yang? Your son is free to go now, we will mail you if we have something important to note, and we will notify you if we would like to see Jeongin again, you know for a check up" this nurse he has been bothered by for the past two weeks spoke. Her sickening sweet smiled made him want to puke in her face.

All he did was to turn and face her, before finally opening his mouth.

"I will never set food in this horrendous place again" he spat, before he stormed off, dragging his mother with him.

He couldn't handle it, he wanted to hide away in his room, to lay beneath the sheets to hide from everyone. The lamp was going to be off, the blinds covering the window, he was going to be safe in his little room at home. It was the part that excited him the most through all of this treatment and meeting important people stuff.

He felt bad for leaving the men he loved so much behind. He had such a mixed feeling about all of this. One side of his mind was so excited and happy to be home, ready to cry from the feeling of freedom. The other side was angry at everyone for taking such a long time, betraying him and constantly using him as a pocket doll. And then there was this surreality, the guilt and missing. He regretted it a bit, he meant he could get by easily enough if he chose to stay. But he listened to the side that argued against that. And now he was all mixed up, dissociating from the world before him.

His mother did notice that, but never commented on it. After all, no one but Chan and Seungmin, had a right to speak over his emotions. No one knew him better than those two men did, he needed them before..now he just wanted them. It felt weird, odd, annoying in a form of way.

But he was home..