Obsession

89

Fencing.
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It's been quite a few days. With that he meant that he has spend most of his time hiding in his room, feeling lonely and bored, the only time he really felt alive was whenever he got a response from Hyunjin via the phone, it made him feel somewhat remembered and prioritized. But other than that, it's been pitch black. The house was an absolute mess, first the dishes had yet to be done properly, and his room was needing another round of cleaning, some fresh ventilation..not to mention the ongoing arguments between his mother and father, day by day. Its only been 3 days since the argument with his mother, and it was already hell listening to her during dinner time, that he stopped coming.

But today was quite quiet. He was notified by his father that both him and his mother would be gone till midnight. And sure enough..that scared the living hell out of him, he tried to get more context out from his parents, but they just gave him some simple chores to go spend his time doing. And sure enough, he has yet to dare set a foot outside his bedroom. The fear was too much.

He was scared that someone in particular was standing outside his room, ready to snap his neck in half for running away from them..he was scared that he wasn't alone in the house, he checked if there could have been anything filming him, but nothing.

He was for once actually just paranoid.

But what exactly was he supposed to do and feel? Initially he could have called Hyunjin, but he was afraid that he would be too much for the older. Even though he could feel the promising energy radiating between them.

So, he texted him. Maybe a bit inappropriately, but he wanted him to come crawling quite frankly fast towards him, whether if it was for the sake of having sex or cuddling till his parents came home. He had someone to be together with..and that made him feel safe. But now the real question was. Is there really anyone else in the house with him? He was honestly curious and fucking scared, but even so, he figured a good shower might actually help calm down his nerves.

So stretching out his body before standing up, he strolled towards his drawer, looking at the content of clothes inside of it, his eyes scanned over the many fabricated materials wondering what he could put on. He managed to find some old shorts he used to wear when he was younger, putting them on top of the drawer as he continued searching for something to wear. And that's when he spotted it, the hoodie. The hoodie he has ran away in, he shook his head before holding the material up infront of him, his eyes following the basic black hoodie, touching the fabric in astonishment, before he eventually hit right back to reality.

Shaking his head again, he hid the hoodie far down the dresser, pulling out a baby blue sweather instead as putting that together with the shorts. He shortly left the room carefully, making sure to leave the door open to his room, before locking himself into the bathroom. He slowly stripped himself out of his clothes, avoiding the big wide mirror before he turned the faucet to the shower on, letting the the temperature reach the right warmth, before he pushed his own naked body inside of the shower. Letting the water warm up his body as he slowly started to wash his hair, scrubbing and scrubbing the shampoo into his scalp, before washing it out.

The water felt so calming against his skin, and he couldn't help but to relax against the heat of waves throughout his body.

His mind traveled far to the back of his past, remembering the details of his abduction all over again. He remembered the encounter with Chan the first time he met him in his room. Shivers running down his spine, he touched his own body delicately, the places he remembered hurting once he was thrown down the set of stairs. He went deeper. Remembering how he woke up in the pitch black basement, terrified for his life for sure, he remembered the pain of starving till he couldn't feel it anymore. And most importantly he remembered the painful love, the constant requirements it took for him to just accept the punches thrown at him, before being treated like an important object for them to obsess over.

And maybe he was a bit obsessed, if not addicted to the pain they caused him. But he was supposed to move on, set a step towards a brighter future.

But the bright wasn't shining as much as he wanted too, and sometimes he got distracted by other people's light, that he eventually took the wrong path. But was he even on any right path? He was just a dead man walking around. Even if he wanted too, he couldn't gain back the majority of the weight he's lost, neither was he able to delete the scars upon his body, their initials, their stupid nicknames, and lines that made him look more like a zeebra than a human.

Do brightness, where was it, and why was it hiding for him, and who sheltered it. He wanted trust and loyalty, he wanted to feel secure and safe. But who was secure and safe? Who was loyal and trustworthy.

He sighed. Stepping out of the shower as he dried himself off, putting the clothes he prepared on, not feeling like putting any specific underwear on, he just wanted to sleep the day through, hoping a certain handsome biker would show up, to comfort him in ways he couldn't describe. Whether if it was forgetting his own name again and again, or if it was for some hugs and cuddles, some small kisses, and cheesy conversations. Either way, he hoped the man would show up soon.