Obsession

96

Time-lapse.
__________________________

The dull pain he felt in his chest when they arrived to their destination, infront of the house he has been calling home for such a long time. He could feel his guts twist and turn inside of him, his breath was uneven and he was shaking from the numerous amount of memories he have made in that house. His eyes landed on each window, the good old van that was still there, indicating that the two men did infact, still live inside that house. The blinds were mainly down, but the one in kitchen wasn't, which gave a clear view of the counters the shelves decorated with flowerpots, which he couldn't remember ever paying attention too.

He knew the living room was right by the kitchen, the same room he planned out his escape all along, the room that felt like an accomplishment whenever he was allowed to sit in there. The house was still quite beautiful though, the garden was still in its own ugly state. The field before the house has grown beautiful yellow corns. And just in general was a pleasing sight to take in.

He could sense Hyunjin was a bit taken a back by the house, not speaking a word to the younger as he rather observed it.

Jeongin couldn't believed they actually managed to find their address. It felt like a genuine accomplishment for once, not something where he needs to satisfy anyone, but rather go against the people telling him how bad of an idea this probably was. He remembered each and every single moment, each day, even four years ago when he first arrived. The pictures was as clear as the sun on a sunny day. He could still feel the hard hits, he could hear their voices, and he couldn't help but too smile.

"I remember the first time I attempted to run away" he mumbled, looking towards the left side of the road, at the area he remembered being shoved down to the ground, with an angry man hovering above him, twisting his limbs.

"H-how was it" it was somewhat amusing hearing Hyunjin hesitate to speak, or even ask a simple question. He was used to be scared of that too..now he felt more free.

"I was going to get punished..but I managed to run out the door, they ran after me...I remember it, uhm, raining I think? It was bad weather. I had no shoes, I think I wore shorts..I'm not too sure, but I was soaked wet. I had hope in escaping for real, I just needed to run faster. Then the weight of one of them tackled me to the ground, hovering above me, smashing me face into the concrete, or was it mud? All I know was that I almost died the following days after, from extreme abuse and torture..it was the worst of pain I've ever dealt with, I genuinely thought I was dead" he explained, telling the story of his first attempt, and how one punishment turned into days of torture.

He remembered not knowing anything between life and death at that point. He made sure to be good from that day on.

"Is that why you waited for the opportunity for the next few years?".

"I never waited for the opportunity again, I never planned it at all till it came down to the day. They were out of the house for like 10 plus hours, and was monitoring me with cameras and equipment, I was granted permission to watch TV, walk around the house without restraints, I had a tablet too. But I eventually searched up my own case...and I was from that moment on, debating whether I should take the escape. I did" he explained, looking through the kitchen window, where he saw one of them grab something from the cabinets.

Hyunjin seemed to notice, pretending to be busy on his phone instead, meanwhile Jeongin couldn't take his eyes off of the window. Looking at the man with his heart softening.

He couldn't help it. The amount of years he has spend loving them unconditionally, it felt like a fever dream seeing them again. As if the blurred memories where becoming more vivid, their voices more pronounced, the memories of their touch.

"Who is that?" Hyunjin mumbled not looking up from his phone.

"Seungmin..he didn't speak much, rather in short sentences, it felt like an achievement whenever he added a new word to his sentences" he sighed, looking at Hyunjin. "He didn't know how to control himself, but he was the nicest one".

"He kidnapped you, he isn't nice" Hyunjin blurted out, looking up at the younger making eye contact for a brief moment.

Jeongin didn't need to explain himself for that one. Seungmin was indeed something odd, he was unique but not morally beautiful on the inside. He was up for cuddles and hugs, but was rather demanding and terrifying when upset.

The guilt he could remember whenever he hurt them, he felt like a horrible person, and maybe perhaps he was one. Because after all, he did leave them first. It wasn't comforting too know he did probably hurt their feelings by his sudden disappearance. But he craved what he meant was good for him back then, and that was his family. But the problem was that now, even if he would love too think otherwise, he really sometimes hoped he didn't run away.

He took bullets to prove his love, and he only need to spread his limbs to show them his love. He was an open book..atleast for them. But they couldn't read him right now, cause they lost all their pages.

"If I could make myself think like that, then I wouldn't be here" he shook his head, leaning against the bike, arms crossed over his chest as he started to zone out.

He wondered a lot of things, all the emotions inside of him were both calmed down, or spiced up. It was genuinely confusing for him to even try and explain. It was sort of like a borderline between hell and heaven, but it seemed like that heaven was in reality filled with demons, and hell was filled with angels. Everything was switched up, and it certainly wasn't for the better.

"But you need to let it go flower..you are not in there anymore, and never will be, you are safe now" it was a pathetic attempt to comfort his racing mind. Yet he still smiled warmly at the older.

Jeongin knew the latter meant it best for him after all. Yet he couldn't quote put himself through it.

"I guess I have gotten used to it" he replied rather briefly, fiddling with his hands, diving deeper into his mind.

"But now is not about remembering the old times, it's about letting them rest here. Let them stay here, with them, let them suffer, not yourself...you deserve to let your mean demons stay with those horrible people..or else you wouldn't be able to bloom, not even if it's the best garden you are growing up in".