Obsession

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As stupid as his inconsistency sounded, he couldn't help but to still glare daggers at his own mother. He picked at the food that has been cooked, not feeling like eating at all. He didn't see a point of it anymore, he was getting more and more drained as the days passed by, and he would only pull himself further down. The choices he has made through life has been horrible so far, giving Chan and Seungmin a chance was the worst one so far. But he couldn't deem himself innocent, he did lots of things wrong, even more now, than back then. He was pushing himself away from those who he loved and those who loved him as much. But it was kicking him down the most, that he was never strong enough to stumble back up on his feet again.

The world was filled with cruel betrayers that cut through his skin..but even so, those cruel betrayers had the most beautiful faces and hearts, even if it hurt him to be with them.

He just wanted the happy ending, the ending that made him smile from one side to the other. The ending that made him happier than ever. But where was it? His turn to smile and be the best again? Atleast decent could do, why did he have to be so stuck? His own self criticism was already taken a toll on him. But listening to others word their opinions about him infuriated him. He didn't need to be told the things he already knew.

"I just want my Jeongin back..I still love you and always will..but you need to let this facade fall down child, it'll only scar you" his mother tried to sound wise, but in reality he had jo facade to be dropped.

For some reason his mother couldn't understand that her son has been fucking traumatized for years. It wasn't that hard to understand, and she was putting even more pressure in him the more she spoke about stupid stuff as if she was a professional doctor, ready to heal her son from the worst.

That was a bad move. Being entitled enough to choose what's best for her son without even asking for permission. Not even his father agreed to any of the stuff his mother spat. It was distressing. And the worst of all?

Well, the worst of it all was that he knew..that he did tear his own family apart.

The amount of arguing, the yells of who could be louder to win an argument. It was toxic. He felt bad, and he was so down for not improving on himself sooner. He couldn't even trust himself anymore. He asked himself who he was, who he looked like..why there was so many happy pictures of himself.

"That was not appropriate to say honey" his father defended..pointing his fork at his son with a sigh. "He won't move forward, not with all of these people you bring from the community to help work on our son. Give him space to adjust, he has it difficult enough up here, he just need to know that there isn't anyone trying to harm him..but you already seem like a threat to him".

"How am I? His own mother a threat to her own son. Come on..he needs the extra push, it isn't that hard to just forget and move on" she spoke, a disgustingly sweet smile on her face. The most annoying part was that she sounded so calm and nice when stating that. As if she even knew her son anymore. "And he is twenty years old, he is an adult now, he have to act like one too".

"What do you not get about the fact that our precious son was legitimately kidnapped hun? He might be twenty years of age, but for four years he has barely even known himself neither! In his mind he is still the sixteen year old boy, he hasn't grown mentally due to being corrupt so much. He already said what happened to him, do you really need him to break down in tears for us again to state a point? So you can ignore it again?!" He raised his voice at his wife. And Jeongin could feel the fear rise inside of him, the tears to start brim his eyes. It was such a hectic situation again. No one was happy, and he was the reason why.

"I have to have the right to help my son to feel better. I know him! I carried him for 9 months and gave birth to him! He has legitimately been apart of me, so how about you shut your stupid ass off. And start appreciating your wife's decisions!" She screamed back, already crying pathetically over the ongoing argument.

"I will never, and with that I mean never support something that could hurt Jeongin. You are hurting him, not helping him! You need to give him space. Us arguing is just making it worse darling!".

The way his father got out if way to help deliver a clear message to his mother, yet getting another wasteful response back. It was almost embarrassing to be in his feet right now.

"J-just stop arguing for once...I-i'm gonna be at Chaewon's place..so if you need me, y-you know where to find me" he mumbled as he stood up, once again feeling ashamed of having to run away from the chaos again. But his head never really got a break before he eventually got outside, seeing the stars vividly on the sky above him, the cold air surrounding his body. He started to walk, over to the house that had colorful lights flashing one side to the other.

He already knew Chaewon was throwing a party. But he couldn't care less, he knew he was invited to stay with her at all times..she made that clear ober the phone many times. And so, he was just planning on hiding in her room till tomorrow morning, or maybe the dawn after..depending on how much time he needed away from the chaotic house he lived in.