Confessions of a Material Gurl・❥・

☆ FORTY ☆

Monday afternoon・❥・
1:23pm

A couple days later, Blanche was at the warehouse, waiting on Juice to make the drop for the week. He was over thirty minutes later, which only annoyed Blanche because knowing him, he probably doing the shit on purpose. She knew Juice was likely still in his feelings about her pregnancy news but it wasn't like they were together or even involved in any type of intimate way. The moment they shared a few weeks ago was the first time in over a year and a half. So as Blanche saw it, Juice had nothing to be in his feelings about.
Her phone starts ringing and Blanche glances at the caller ID seeing a unknown caller and  immediately declines the call. A moment later her phone rings again from the same unknown caller. This time, Blanche ignores the call again, placing her phone on do not disturb just as Juice finally arrives.
"Well look what the cat dragged in." Blanche teasingly says and Juice scoffs, shaking his head and placing two duffle bags down on the table that sat in the middle of the room.
"My time doesn't revoke around you, B." Juice hostilely responds.
"Whatever Juice." Blanche replies, dismissively waving him off. She was in no mood to have an argument with Juice. There was no point in them discussing anything if they couldn't behave like adults.
"Yeah whatever." He snidely bites back, making Blanche's blood boil. Honestly she couldn't stand Juice's passive aggressiveness when he was upset. Nothing irritated her more.
"What's your problem? Like foreal. I don't get why you're angry." Blanche blurts out and Juice stares at her for a moment, collecting his thoughts. He wasn't angry with Blanche, yet Juice couldn't deny that knowing she was carrying another niggas child, stung. He couldn't say what he was feeling without sounding like a jealous nigga, so Juice was choosing to avoid her to keep himself from doing so. However right now he wasn't doing such a good job of that.
"I'm not angry, B." He says, finally softening his tone.
"You could've fooled me. Look I'm sorry you had to find out about me being pregnant the way you did, but it's not like we're together."
"I know we're not." He evenly states.
"Then why are you acting like this?" Blanche presses, urging him to spit it out.
"I'm not acting like anything." Juice responds being short with her. Blanche groans, exhaustively glaring at him. This nigga is so difficult, she thinks to herself. She knew if Juice wasn't upset then he wouldn't be acting this way. The signs were all there. From his body language and tone.
"Then what's with all the hostility?"
"I'm not being hostile. I just don't have time for your games." Juice says and Blanche shakes her head, laughing in disbelief.
"What games? You were the one that came onto me that night." She defensively reminds. 
"And you knew you were fucking on that nigga, so why didn't you stop me?" Juice argues back as his voice raises a few octaves. Blanche glares back at him with squinted eyes.
"Don't act like you didn't know."
"This time, but what about last time?" He scornfully mumbles. Blanche's chest tightens and she regrettably turns away. She hadn't always made the right choices especially when it came to men. She was ashamed for her past actions, which lately were constantly playing in the back of her mind. Blanche never meant to hurt Juice when she started sleeping with Indie on the low, while also sleeping with him.
The shit just happened.
           Blanche unfortunately got caught up in the lust and thrill which only ended with her being pregnant and not knowing who the father was. To make matters worse, she hid the pregnancy from Juice. He only found out because she called him telling him she had a miscarriage and that she needed a ride to the hospital. To make matters worse, Blanche never told Juice, Indie was the cause of them losing their child.
"I've apologized for that several times already, Juice. How much longer are you gonna hold it over my head?" Blanche quietly quizzes, unable to hold back the hurt in her voice. Juice throwing the shit back in her face like that, wounded Blanche more than he would ever know. He wasn't the only one scarred that day. 
          Hearing the sadness in her voice, Juice releases some of his anger. He wasn't trying to hurt her, but shit, knowing she was pregnant just brought up a lot of unresolved emotions and feelings.
"I don't, B. But I can't lie and say knowing you're pregnant doesn't bruise a nigga. That was supposed to be us." Juice truthfully states.
"I know." Blanche replies with her head in her chest.  A small tear falls from her eye as Blanche thinks back to that night when Indie attacked her. You live and you learn, yet it was unfortunate that Blanche had to lose a child just to learn a lesson. Seeing her tear up, tugged on the strings of Juice's heart. He goes over to her and wraps his arms around her waist, trying to soothe her. Her quiet sobs fill the room as Juice rubs the small of her back.
"I'm so sorry, Juice." Blanche apologizes again with her head against his chest. She felt like a shit person. Juice deserved to know the truth, but she couldn't tell him without Juice wanting to going after revenge.
"I wasn't trying to upset you, B." Juice sincerely says, lifting her chin and staring in her eyes. Even with her mascara smeared, Juice felt the urge to kiss her. He couldn't control it if he wanted to. This was the girl he was in love with since he was ten years old.