Confessions of a Material Gurl・❥・

☆ FIFTY-NINE ☆

Sunday morning ・❥・
9:12am

"Do you really have to go?" Grey heard from over his shoulder as he tossed his shirt over his head. He turned around, staring at the brown skin beauty with lust written all over her face. He enjoyed their time together last night, but now that was over and it was time to get back to reality. He had this feeling in his gut that something was coming. Things had been too quiet ever since the move was made on Indie and the news of Press dying. Grey knew the Indie was plotting his revenge but he couldn't figure out his next move which only frustrated him. Indie was a slippery muthafucka to catch and someone was keeping him protected and from being caught on Grey's radar.
"Yeah ma." He replied and chuckled in amusement when he heard Reign sucking her teeth. Some how Grey found himself coming back to her apartment after a night out with his little brother, his girl and Reign. Frankly he was looking for a quick nut and he knew from the other night, that she would've be more than happy to accept his offer.
"Don't worry. I'll hit you up in a few days." Grey reassured her, walking toward as she her sat up on the bed. He rubbed her shoulder, staring at her briefly.
      Grey could tell from her demeanor that Reign was waiting for him to kiss her goodbye, however that act was too intimate and being intimate with any other woman besides Blanche felt strange. Plus Grey's feelings towards Blanche were complicated. He couldn't throughly enjoy himself last night because he spent majority of it trying not to imagine her. But they needed space, and Grey had no clue how they're going to navigate co-parenting. It was easy with Zenobia because there was no love lost, but with Blanche that wasn't the case. Love was lost and he didn't see them finding their way back to each other anytime soon. However, starting something new with some else, was something he wasn't also wasn't interested in. So instead he gave her a quick peck on the cheek before leaving.
As Grey climbed into his truck, he glanced at the time reading 9:47am. Blanche's baby shower started at 11am and even though he said he was done, Grey still planned on being there for every milestone that included his child. Shit he did pay for it, so he did have every right to be there. He didn't know how things were gonna be between him and Blanche today but Grey was hoping they both could be cordial about the situation.

・❥・

          Blanche stood in her teenage childhood bedroom, staring at her reflection in the mirror, looking like a pregnant goddess. However on the inside, she felt the total opposite of that. This was supposed to be a joyful moment for her, yet she was feeling every thing but joy. Her feelings were a mix of regret and heartbreak. She had no clue where she and Grey's relationship went next and all she wanted was him back. But she knew that wasn't happening, especially any time soon. Blanche knew Grey was over her lying and frankly she couldn't blame him. She wished she knew how to be more open with her feelings, but she never was good at that and never had a good example to show her how to be. She never learned how to manage her emotions, even as a child. Mostly because she was left to navigate and regulate them herself without the guidance of a motherly figure and when she finally went to live with her dad, Carter was to preoccupied with making up for the trauma her mother put her through, so Blanche basically got away with everything.
     A knock came through the door, snapping her out of her thoughts. "Come in." Blanche said as the door opened and her mom entered the room, hesitantly. Blanche groaned, rolling her eyes, seeing her enter through the reflection of the mirror.
"What are you doing here?" She asked harshly.
"I wanted to see my daughter on the day of her baby shower." Her mother replied. Blanche sucked her teeth, annoyed with her caring mother routine.
"Well you saw me, so you can go now." She rudely responded. Blanche had enough on her mind right now and a conversation with her mother about shit, she didn't want to think about, was the last thing Blanche wanted to deal with.
"Blanche, I'm still your mother." Rose adamantly responded. Blanche sucked her teeth, not giving her a response. "I know you hate me, but I did the best that I could and when that wasn't enough, I let you father have custody because you deserved so much more that I was able to give." Rose admitted. Blanche didn't say a word, but a small tear fell from her eye and she quickly wiped it away. Truthfully, she didn't hate her mother but she was hurt. Blanche felt like her mother abandoned her at a time when she needed that motherly love the most. But like most people, Rose had her own demons she was battling. Demons that left her incapable of raising her child.
     Sensing that she struck a never, Rose decided it was best to leave it alone, it was obvious Blanche wasn't ready to talk about the past.
"I wasn't trying to upset you. I just wanted you know that I love you and no matter how you feel about me, I know I made the right decision by letting you father have custody." Her mother said, before leaving the room. Blanche fell to the floor once she was gone, as the tears began pouring out of her eyes, and she felt a tightening in her chest of a mix of sadness and anger, praying that God would release her from this pain. Blanche had so much on her soul, that she felt weighed down by a ton of bricks. This was the last thing she imagined to be feeling on this day. She always imagined her baby shower to be a joyous time in her life, yet today she was feeling everything but that.