Confessions of a Material Gurl・❥・

☆ FIFTY-TWO ☆

Thursday afternoon・❥・
3:18pm

           A highly aggravated Blanche sat in the warehouse, still waiting on Juice's arrival. He was over two hours later and ignoring all of her calls. She was fuming and trying to keep calm and avoid getting stressed out, per her doctor's orders. However it was seeming like everyone around her was trying to get under her skin and Leena's confession had her on edge. She couldn't believe that her best friend was choosing the side of her ex nigga over her and Blanche was completely clueless to why. She didn't understand what was making Leena act the way she was. Blanche had been there for her through all of her drama with her parents and always made sure Leena and her child were straight, so knowing that she betrayed her trust was devastating.
The garage door on the warehouse opens as Juice finally arrives. He climbs out the vehicle, without speaking, going around to the back of the truck, and popping the trunk open. He starts to silently unload the duffle bags. Blanche rolls her eyes and huffing under her breath, before rising from the couch, slightly waddling over to him. Juice glances up as Blanche makes her was towards him. He was surprised to see how much she was showing now. The sundress she wore revealed her bump and her hair was back in a low bun as her baby hairs graced her edges perfectly. Her pregnancy had her glowing and she looked amazing.
His jaw instantly clenched. Not because he wasn't happy for her because Juice genuinely was, contrary to popular belief. His love for her was pure, so wishing unhappiness on her and her new journey wasn't in him. However because Blanche kept details about their child's death away from him, Juice was livid. Especially because she chose to share the truth to someone else before even considering telling him. That's what angered him. He and Blanche knew if she would've said something, all this shit with Indie would be irrelevant because the nigga wouldn't even be breathing and the flowers on his grave would've been dead crops by now. Juice would've done anything to protect Blanche and their child and she knew that shit. He protected her plenty of times before when they were younger and nothing was different now.
He silently continued unloading the truck, ignoring her even more, which had Blanche's blood steaming even more. She didn't know why Juice was mad at her now, but it was obvious he had a chip on his shoulder about something. He was always so hot and cold and Blanche was tired of being taken on an emotional roller coaster by him. Juice either hated her or not. But whatever it was, he needed to choose a side and stick to it. This will they or won't they shit, they were stuck in, was for the birds.
"Well hello to you to." Blanche sarcastically said, breaking the silence. Juice nods his head, acknowledging her greeting, but still disregarding her. Blanche chuckles in disbelief, throwing her hands up in defeat.
"Okay Juice, spill it. What's the fucking problem now?" She asked, unable to keep her composure.
Juice glances up, starting at Blanche for a moment. He was trying to avoid blowing up on her, knowing the situation she was in but Juice wasn't sure if he was going to be able to, if she keep pressing the issue. He needed some time to get out of his feelings and get his mind right. They both made severe mistakes in their relationships and Juice knew he wasn't always perfect boyfriend when they were together so all the blame couldn't be placed on her and that's what he had to keep reminding himself. He partly did this to himself. The whole reason they were in this shit in the first place was because of him having a child with someone else. His child was his pride and joy, but Juice knew watching him have a child with someone else right after they lost theirs, couldn't have been easy for Blanche. But watching her having a child with Grey, was just as bad for him.
"Ain't no problem B." He shortly replied walking away from the truck and placing the duffle bags on the table of the center of the room as he begins taking out the money.
"These bags have been counted up already. This is the only stack that needs to be finished." Juice tells her, avoiding the obvious elephant in the room. Blanche shoots daggers at him with her eyes as she comes over to the table, knocking the bags off the table in a full rage. Juice swipes his hand off his face, sighing deeply, unaffected by her tantrum and glaring at her.
"You really wanna do this?" He scrutinized through gritted teeth.
"Yeah I do." Blanche declared, shoving him in the chest and egging him on. She wasn't the type to put hands on someone, especially during an argument but frankly she couldn't take this bullshit with Juice any longer. It boiled up to the point where Blanche was literally going to blow. She was tired of feeling guilty for some shit she didn't even begin in the first place. Yeah she could've handle shit better when she found out, but Blanche was never good at controlling her emotions when she was hurt. She was the type to hurt you back, more than you'd ever hurt her and Juice was some of the reason why being in a relationship and being vulnerable was difficult for her. She did it once for him and Juice still broke her heart. So in the end, Blanche did what was best for her and walked away. Being with someone who knew the type of power they had over you, and still fucked you over, was something Blanche just couldn't handle. She would always love herself more than anyone else and loving Juice made her feeling insane. Yeah she might've been stuck on stupid sometimes, but eventually she wised up and moved on her with life. Plus loving Juice, wasn't like loving Grey. Grey's love made her feel calm and secure. Juice's love made her feel erratic and unsure.
"Aight then. Tell me the truth. How did you really lose our child?" He quizzed, coming right out with it. If Blanche wanted to take it there, then so would he. It was petty. But love made you do petty shit.
"I already told you how!" Blanche shouted.
"Nah what you told me was a fuckin' lie and you know it." Juice shouted back, pointing his finger in her face. "How could you tell that nigga the truth before ever even considering me first? It was my child too, Blanche!" Juice angrily barked as his voice cracked underneath. The hurt in his voice was clear as day which only made Blanche feel like a shit person as the tears welled up in the corner of her eyes.
"He told you?" Blanche meekly asked. Juice scoffed.
"That's your response, B?" He interrogated back as his face screwed up.
"I don't know what else to say."
Juice chuckled in disbelief. "That's a fucking first." He harshly spat, making Blanche roll her eyes.
"Whatever." She said beginning to walk away, but he grabbed her back by the wrist, as Blanche stared down at his grasp on her like her was crazy and he let her go. Juice groaned in frustration, walking over to the couch and taking a seat, placing his head in his hand before rubbing them over his face. He sat quietly for a moment.
"I need to know the truth, B. Please." Juice pleaded as his voice softened, releasing some of the tension between them. Blanche eases her way over to the couch, sitting next to him and crossing her legs in her lap. She exhales a long breath before speaking.
"What do you want to know?"
"Everything." Juice says before Blanche begins to replay that night for him, reliving one of the worst moments of her life and adding that grief to Juice's plate. When she was done, he remained silent, looking off into space. Replaying all the moments after that night, that he was in Indie's presence with Blanche and how everything seemed fine yet the whole time Blanche was living in this nightmare and didn't say a peep.
"Why didn't you tell me, B? You knew I would've protected you." Juice interrogated, unable to come up with a valid reason for her silence or omission of truth. Blanche laughed in disbelief, shaking her head.
"Juice we weren't even on speaking terms until I called you that night. You couldn't of protected me."
"I would have if I knew it was that bad. Speaking terms or not. Ima always love you." Juice admits, staring her deeply in the eyes and making her chest tighten. She stares back momentarily, feeling past emotions resurfacing. Blanche forces herself to turn away.
"Just like you'll always love her." She sadly replies.
"B..." Juice starts, but Blanche puts her hand up to stop him from continuing.
"Don't lie and tell me you don't. You loved her enough to start a family with her and our child's grave wasn't even cold in the ground yet."
"It wasn't something I planned." Juice admitted. Never did he think after losing their child, would he have another one so soon. He was a wreck after everything and was moving reckless, not strapping up and the shit just happened.
"And I get that, but you left me alone to deal with all of that grief. Not once, after everything happened did you even check up on me!" Blanche yelled. Having this conversation with Juice had past emotions flowing uncontrollably through her and she still had so much pent up rage to how things played out between them, "You started a whole new family and forgot about me. How was I ever going to be able to tell you the truth after that? You didn't even give a fuck!"
"That's not true, B. I tried to talk to you. You shut me out and blocked me from everything!" Juice spat.
"Because it obviously didn't matter to you anymore! Do you know how much it hurt me to find out you were having a child with someone else two weeks later? And with the same bitch you were cheating on me with." Blanche voiced disappointedly. Her throat clogged a little bit as the words left her mouth. Juice blew out a sharp breath, hearing her confession.
"Look, B. I know I should've said it before but I'm sorry. It wasn't something I planned. But after losing our child, I was moving recklessly. It just happened." Juice said, sincerely apologizing. He would've never tried purposely hurt her, that wasn't in him. But something things in life, were just out of your control. Juice thank God for his second chance every day. However it was unfortunate that it was always something that caused Blanche pain.
"I'm sorry too. I shouldn't of kept the truth from you. It was wrong of me." She replied as a tear fell from her eye and he wipes it away with his thumb.
"We both made mistakes, love." Juice says, trying to comfort her as she felt a tremendous weight being lifted from her shoulders. Keeping the truth from Juice had been slowly eating her alive and Blanche didn't realize how much until now.
"You ain't gonna have to worry about that nigga for much longer, aight?" He assures her.
"Juice..." She begins to plead, "Don't do anything stupid." There was no point in trying to convince him, in changing his mind because it was obvious whatever had been set in motion, wasn't going to be stopped.
"Don't worry, B. You got shooters ready to go to war for you. That's what happens when you fuck with the princess." Juice says, nixing her chin as their eyes lock and the air between them gets thick. It was hard to be this near Juice and not feel anything. He was her first so naturally, he would always have her heart. It was the curse of your first love. You'd always remember them and how they made you feel, no matter what. Juice was permanently etched in her heart and soul.
Blanche places her forehead against his, closing her eyes and taking a long exhale.
"The two year anniversary is next week." She says.
"I know, love." Juice replied, rubbing her back in circular motions.
"We should do something." She suggest.
"Like what?"
"I don't know. It feels weird to just treat it like another day. I mean obviously, we both have moved on with our lives, but still we should find a way to honor our child."
"Whatever you want B. I'll be there." Juice truthfully tells her, "Remember that, aight? Ima always be there no matter what. I love you and can't nobody change that."
"I love you too." She replied just above a whisper.
The close proximity had both of them on edge and they were fighting to keep their emotions in check. Juice trails his fingers over her bottom lip and Blanche swallowed with anticipation before their lips meet. They both relished in their kiss momentarily before snapping back to reality.
"We can't." Blanche said, pulling away, feeling a mix of confusing emotions.
"I know." Juice said. It was a moment of weakness she was now regretting. Even if it was just a kiss, she couldn't cheat on Grey. However, Blanche couldn't deny there was a part of her that was still very much in love with Juice. She couldn't risk losing Grey though, so the best thing for her to do, was to leave before she did something she couldn't take back.
"I'm gonna go." Blanche tells him, rising from the couch. An awkward space fills the room. Juice wouldn't say it, but he was disappointed she wasn't willing to cheat on Grey. It was obvious to him now, whatever they shared was now a thing of the past and that she was gone for good.

・❥・
Author's notes:
Okay y'all we're getting close to end of Part 1. Maybe about 10-15 more chapters!! <3

You know ya girl likes to set the stage lol I promise to make it up to y'all, I'm leading up to something huge so please don't fight me for how I end this cause I know you girls like to tussle Lmao

Leave your comments, reactions and thoughts <3 I love reading them lol