Europa

June 13, 2048

The first thing I did when they opened the lock-in capsule was run to my room to call home. I didn't even check the time. I didn't care.

Maybe I should have checked because Dad's voice was super frantic when he finally picked up. It turns out it was three an. Still just hearing his voice made me feel at peace again. Diego was obviously asleep, but my dad assured me he'd had a good week. Then he assured me he'd call me tomorrow, pointing out it was way too late at night for him to be awake. I totally understood.

When you are locked in a chamber with a small group of people for a long period of time you get to know them pretty quickly. Sure, over the first few days of the training program I got to know my fellow team members pretty well, but since the lock-in drill that bond has become a lot closer. We are in this together.

One of the team members I owe a big apology to is Second Lieutenant Adam Taylor. On the first day I had him pegged completely wrong, based on his appearance. Maybe it's the scar and the muscles that gave me the impression that he was a cutthroat guy. In reality he's one of the funniest people I've ever met. In such tight corners he knows how to lighten the mood, which is critical when you are locked in a tight space with people for so long. You can only coexist with everyone so long before you get at each other's throats.

At one point Commander Hunt bent down to pick up a food packet and Adam had the balls to make a fart noise. Everyone in the crew was dying laughing. Well, everyone except Commander Hunt. After that he looked even more stern than usual. Throughout the entire training exercise, he's the only person I did not see smile once. I'm no expert on leadership, but if we're going to be working together for the next eleven and a half years, I feel like he should at least learn to pretend to like us.

Most of the exercises they had us completing as a team while locked in were pretty mundane, as I believe the goal was just to see how we would cooperate. Surprisingly I found myself getting incredibly frustrated with Richard, which is surprising considering how much we've worked together in the past. It seemed like he wasn't listening. On multiple occasions I even raised my voice at him. I felt bad on the evening of the third night when he apologized and admitted he was having a hard time focusing, as his father was scheduled to undergo a procedure while we were locked-in, and he had no way of knowing how it went. He assured me there were no hard feelings though, and I tried to be more understanding from there.

Speaking of at home situations I got more time to speak to Dr. Horvat about how he felt leaving his children behind. Having more time to speak to the rest of the crew I have confirmed that he is the only other member with children. He said that at his children's age he felt he had already done all he could towards guiding them and that he was excited to see what they had accomplished in six years when we woke up again.

When I asked him about my particular situation, he was honest and said he did not know if he would have been strong enough to make the decision I did. The term that got to me from what he said was strong. Most of the people in the everyday, with the exception of Diego, have questioned my decision to be here labeling it as selfish. My dad outright said the word selfish, and the other parents at the parent teacher conference heavily implied it.

These people on the other hand understood. They may not have made their decision under the same circumstances or for the same reasons, but at the end of the day we had all made the choice to sacrifice eleven years of our lives on Earth to explore Europa for alien life.

Even Commander Hunt pulled me aside to say he thought what I was willing to do was brave, and I'm pretty sure he hates me. There have been several times while we were working together in the confined space where he rolled his eyes when I made a mistake, no matter how small. At one point he even reprimanded me for not moving to my station fast enough during an emergency drill. Is knowledge that I can be clumsy and I'm going to need to do better, but sometimes it feels like he targets me out of the group.

I voiced my concern to Miller before bed one night. The lock-in room we were staying in had 3 small rooms for sleeping, each with a tight bunk bed. Us being the two women on the mission, we felt it was a no brainer. Not to sound like a child but we've developed a bit of a girl's alliance there. She assured me that Commander James Hunt may appear to be an asshole, especially in a team setting, he only wants the best for all of us. She can be a real role model and having her as a resource is invaluable to her experience in space. It was also nice to be able to talk to a woman who had been to space about some of the lady issues and how they are dealt with.

All in all, I think the time spent in the lock-in capsule was a good team building experience. However, I will note it feels so nice to be able to sleep in my own room tonight. While Jenifer was an incredible bunk mate I am used to sleeping in my own room. I'm an only child after all.