Europa

June 29, 2048

I snapped at Captain Hunt today. Once again, he yelled at me in front of the entire team after I got my space suit hooked to the rover prop, I was working with in the buoyancy lab. In my defense I was able to get myself loose without the assistance of the rest of the team or the assistance of the divers. If anything, it was more of a statement to how far I have come when it comes to working under pressure. On day one I certainly would have panicked in that situation, especially considering I was in an airtight suit surrounded by water. There is something about knowing there is no air in the environment around you that makes a situation seem extra claustrophobic. Still, despite that I stayed calm and handled the situation.

Captain Hunt did not see it that way. He said "if you keep making clumsy mistakes like that, you're gonna get us all killed. Watch your damn step. It's not that hard."

I should have just sat there and listened. It's what I normally would have done, but something about the way he said it just sent me over the edge. He was always criticizing every little thing I did.

I can't remember exactly what I said, the moment was becoming a bit of a blur. It was something like "Enough! I get it already. How am I supposed to focus on what I'm doing when I have you breathing down my back the entire time."

I knew I was right to speak up because the number of times he criticized me in front of the group was becoming excessive, but looking back the words I said could have been more professional.

The fact I had raised my voice back silenced the rest of the team. Everyone was silent, looking over at Commander Hunt before looking back at me. The silence probably lasted for a few seconds, but it felt like hours.

Finally, Taylor said something to ease the tension and the group dispersed. I haven't seen any of them since then.

The thought of facing Commander Hunt tomorrow is making me uneasy already. The one thing I know I won't do is apologize for speaking my mind.