Europa

June 5, 2048

I am exhausted. Today I spent a couple hours in the flight simulator, and I must say the G force in there is intense. It puts the pressure of the guilt on my chest for accepting this mission to shame. I've never been much of a ride person at amusement parks, so I really didn't know how I would handle the simulator.

After it slowed down, and they removed the straps I could barely even stand. It felt like the floor was spinning. It took all my self-control not to throw up. The operator of the flight simulator test actually said I did a great job, however. That makes me wonder what a bad job in the flight simulator looks like.

Tomorrow I will be taking my mental fitness test. It's less of a test and more of a psychological evaluation. I'm honestly a bit concerned for how it turns out. Again, I feel like I am mentally prepared for this mission, but on the other hand I worry that all the therapists I saw as a child may come to bite me. I also feel like they may be concerned about the fact I am leaving a child behind. The only member of the mission that has a child to leave behind is Oliver Horvat, and his youngest daughter is a Junior at Yale.

I can't overthink this to be honest. The best I can do is answer every question they ask me as truthfully as possible, even if it might negatively affect my image. If there is something that makes me incompatible for the mission it is better, I find out now than when I am trapped above a space station millions of miles away from

Earth. In that scenario my punishment would be being sent back home to be with Diego and Dad again. Not such a bad punishment!

Speaking of Diego, I called home for almost 30 minutes today. He told me all about how his grandpa took him to the aquarium and he saw a shark. I told him about the simulator, and he sounded jealous. He was always so frustrated at amusement parks when they wouldn't let him on the rides.

Dad says while Diego gets down at times, he has been a lot more positive over the last few days. He also says Diego asks about me all the time.

I'm glad he's doing well. I cannot wait until the end of training camp when I can see him again.