Vampire Diaries Imagines

Not To Be Broken - Jeremy Gilbert

She had been acting strange here lately. Like nothing could phase her when on a normal day everything that came along with the recent events would take an epic toll on her. (Y/N) never had the emotional strength like her brothers to hide it all behind a mask and everyone knew it. So this behavior has me thinking that she has hit rock bottom and turned her emotions off. Something she had never done before according to Stefan. It really worried me.

(Y/N/N) floated around like a happy little butterfly all day and when she was told that Klaus had made his way to Mystic Falls, she brushed it off and carried on with what she was doing. Stefan and I were both concerned at this point. On a normal day, she would be freaking out about it. She would be worried and stressed to no end but not today. It was like she didn't even want to think about any of it so she didn't. Which could be the case but I still worried it wasn't.

I sat on the bench in the backyard of the boarding house watching as she tended to the garden. She hasn't noticed me yet. How she didn't with her vampire senses, I don't know. Hell, maybe she is and just hadn't said anything to me because I wasn't bothering her. As her boyfriend, I had the right to but with not knowing what's going through her head right now or lack thereof, I didn't want to chance it. I really didn't want to be accidentally killed by my own girlfriend today. That ranked Nowhere on my list of things to do today.

"Jer, would you mind getting the pack of morning glory seeds from the tool shed?" She questioned with her back still turned to me.

"So she does notice me." I joked in a shocking tone. Which made her giggle in response. "Of course, I'll get them for you."

(Y/N) turned and smiled at me as I got up from my seat to get the seeds from the shed for her. "Yes, I noticed you. I was just too in the zone. I've been trying to get the things I've neglected the past few weeks done. I'm sorry if I made you feel ignored."

"No, I didn't feel ignored. I was just messing with you." I reassured her as I made my way back over with the seeds she had wanted. "But I do have a question."

She let out a soft sigh. "If you are going to ask me if I flipped my switch. like Stefan did this morning, then the answer is no." (Y/N) said as she reached for the seeds.

Giving them to her, I said, "We only ask because we worry. you've been acting..."

"Different lately?" She questioned and I nodded. "Yeah, Stefan said that too." (Y/N/N) sighed once more and stood up, brushing the dirt off her pants. "I'm going to tell you like I told Stefan, okay? No, I didn't turn my humanity off. Everything still bothers the shit out of me. But I'm just done letting my emotions get the best of me. So I looked into natural ways of overcoming it all. I started meditating. Damon and I started doing a little bit of combat training in the mornings. Keeping myself busy seems to help too. All without turning it off. Mostly because I can't."

"You can't turn it off?" I questioned with a confused face.

"I don't want to think about how different I would be if I was to turn my humanity off. That's just not someone I want to be. That and I made a promise to someone that I wouldn't." She confessed.

"Stefan?" I asked knowing she would never break a promise she's made to him or either brother really.

(Y/N/N) shook her head but after a moment she said. "Well yes, but no. Only Damon knows this but when we all were turned, I woke up before either one of them. I was definitely confused about what was going on so Emily pulled me to the side and explained it to me. She also made me promise that I would never flip that switch. She said she had seen a number of people do it and she didn't want me to become someone different like they all did, no matter how much I would want to. So I have always kept that in mind when everything becomes too much. It's a promise to my best friend that I never intend on breaking."

"Why does Damon know this and not Stefan?" I asked her.

"Simply because he woke up first." The (Y/H/C) haired girl said. "He woke up and heard most of the conversation so he asked me about it after she and I had finished talking. By the time Stefan woke up, we had already moved past that and we weren't about to turn around on the subject. I don't know much about what Stefan was like from then to now but I saw how much Damon had changed when he turned his humanity off back in the fifties. But I really don't think he turned it all the way off because all though for over a decade he went without caring about a single thing he did, Damon still acted about me. When it was just him and I, he was still my big brother. Like nothing changed but everything else... he didn't care about any of it." She explained.

I always knew that she and Stefan were close but I didn't realize Damon was closer to her and that he was the one she stuck around after turning.

"With how close you and Stefan are, I thought you traveled with him." I stated.

"For the last 3 or 4 years, I did. Who do you think actually got him to come home? I can tell you now that it wasn't his own free will." She giggled before continuing. "But, no. I did most of my traveling with Damon. My contact with Stefan during that time was very limited and I usually had to go through Lexi to see if it was okay. Until this last time when he came looking for me. I love both my brothers equally but when it comes to who knows me better and vice versa, that award will always go to Damon. Stefan knows that."

"Why didn't you ever tell him about the promise you made to Emily?" I asked

"Because I made him the same promise the next time we spoke. It was in a letter back in the eighteen-nineties. Actually, I think he still has it. He's my brother and everyone knows my word to them is unbreakable. Besides, he knows now." (Y/N) then looked up at Stefan's bedroom window and my gaze followed hers. There he stood at his window, looking down at us smiling.

"Okay, that's just weird. How'd you know he was there?"

"He told me. The enhanced hearing is like the FBI without the earwig. It's great." She said with a giggle which made me chuckle.

"Next you're going to tell me that Damon was listening in too." I predicted.

"No. If he was, we'd be having this conversation somewhere else. Damon tends to get a little grumpy when I share his secrets."

Now, this is the (Y/N) I was used to seeing. Her gorgeous smile shining brightly and her (Y/E/C) eyes full of happiness was something I always liked to see. Just knowing that turning her humanity off was never going to be a problem really did make me feel ten times better.