The Assistant JJK FF

Chapter 50: "An Impasta..."

You're walking through the dining room, looking down at your phone and you're about to hit the call button next to Jungkook's name, when Jun comes to you.

"Eomma can you help me with my homework?" He asks, looking up at you wide eyed.

You lock your phone and put it in your pocket before smiling at your brother.
"Ofcourse Champ."

"Don't worry about it, Yn. I can help him. Why don't you relax and watch a show you like? Oh and I baked cookies. They're cooling in the kitchen if you'd like some." Mrs Hairi says with a kind smile.

"Eomma, Imo, 5 minute break, I need the bathroom," he says rushing off towards the bathroom in his room.

You swallow your distaste for the situation because you know it's misplaced and you try to smile but you're not entirely certain if you're successful in that regard. You take a deep breath and give yourself a moment before responding so you don't allow your frustration to seep into your words.

"Thank you, Mrs Hairi. But really, I don't mind. I'm not doing anything now anyway."

"Yn, it's not necessary for you to always be doing something," she says and her point is completely valid so there's no reason for it to frustrate you more. Yet it happens anyway. "You rest. I'm happy to help Jun. Don't worry," she continues.

For some reason the repeated 'don't worry' fills your annoyance past the brim and sets you off when you've been trying so hard to hold in your insecurities.

"How can I not worry when you're not leaving me any space in Jun's life!" You yell. "You can't take my place in Jun's life and you can't fill my mother's place in my life! You're not our mother and you never will be!" Your chest is heaving once the words run out and seconds pass before you realise what you've just said and the gravity of it.

The realisation releases a gasp from you. You press your palm against your mouth as you stare wide eyed at Mrs Hairi. You don't give yourself anytime to process the expression on her face neither do you give her time to respond because you're already running out of the room and upstairs to your bedroom.

You frantically pull out your luggage bag (that you had unpacked not too long ago) and start stuffing clothes in it from your wardrobe.

"How could you be so rude, Yn? Eomma would be so disappointed in you." you kneel on the ground next to your bag and you hold your head in your hands grabbing your hair in the process. " Pdnim and Mrs Hairi welcomed me and Jun into their home and I went and ruined everything. They gave me comfort and safety and what did I do? I disrespected my aunt." You keep stuffing clothes in your bag haphazardly and it serves as a metaphor for the state of your mind. "They're not going to want me here anymore. And I can't even blame them. Maybe If I just leave they'll still be willing to keep Jun. And I can still meet Jun...if they allow it and don't think I'll be a bad influence. Oh God, everything is ruined just because I'm an insecure and ungrateful idiot. "

Tears have already gathered in your eyes and though you feel like you have no right to cry because you think you acted like an immature brat, a few tears still trail down your face. You quickly wipe them away and continue your hasty packing even as more tears manage to escape.

You're so busy with your panic packing that you almost don't hear the knock at your open door.

"Yn, I think we need to talk," Mrs Hairi says.

You nearly whimper and break into sobs but you push the feeling away. You meekly nod your head without looking at Mrs Hairi because you don't you'll ever be able to look her in the eye again. You're too ashamed by your outburst.

An apology sits on your tongue but doesn't move beyond your lips; shame and embarrassment take over keeping you silent.

"Sit down," she says sitting on the bed and gesturing to the spot next to her.