The Assistant JJK FF

Chapter 42: The Camel's Broken Back

The day arrived; the day you were dreading.

It was an unfortunate cycle for you. Pretend everything is okay until this day rolls around and you're reminded of everything you've lost in life. You're thrown into a pit of painful memories and you can't escape.

The truth is, every day you missed your mom. Every day the loss of her was hurtful. Every day memories haunted you. But on this day in particular you'd wake up with cold sweats after having nightmares based on the reality of this day, from all those years ago.

You relive the accident every year in your sleep. That is, if you managed to sleep. Sometimes you'd just lie awake knowing that the date marked another year without a mother. Another year having to act older, more mature, than you are.

You get out of bed hesitantly. As much as you want to visit Eomma and pay respects, it didn't make the process any easier. But you have to be strong. For her. For yourself. And for little Jun who in a way was the most disadvantaged, for not having received the chance to truly know his mother who loved him so dearly.

You help your brother get ready by fixing his tie and the collar of his suit.
You dress in a similar way every year, a plain, yellow sundress.

When you were much younger, around 6 or 7, eomma's favourite thing to dress you up in was a bright yellow dress. Yellow was her favourite colour and she would always gush about how adorable you looked in it. Like a mini her.

So in memory of that, you made it a tradition to wear a yellow sundress on her death anniversary. You felt that it would make her happy. That she would know you never forgot her preferences.

Throughout the years you made sure regardless of what clothing you owned, you'd always have one yellow dress in your wardrobe.

You put in effort into your appearance mainly because eomma was a firm believer of the cliché "dress to impress".
But as much as she cared about her outward appearance she truly was just as beautiful on the inside.

Your uncle didn't come home the previous night and you could not care less. He probably was drunk at a friend's house. Or maybe he died on his way him. Either way, as cold as it sounds, it didn't matter to you.

"We just have to stop by the florist and then we can go visit Eomma. Okay?"

He nods his head and then holds your hand.

The trip to florist doesn't take long neither does choosing the bouqet you want. It was the same every year - sunflowers, daisies, and lillies; a combination of eomma's favourite flowers.

Soon enough you arrive at the main destination. Jun lays the flowers by your eomma's grave. The two of you kneel down infront of her gravestone.

"Hi, Eomma. How are you? How do I look?" You ask the headstone even though you know you won't get an answer.

You sigh deeply."I hope you're happier wherever you are. I..." you clear your throat. "I miss you... every day."

Jun pats your back softly but stays silent. Perhaps to give you the time, the opportunity, to mourn.

He was a child, yes but he probably understood you better than anyone else.

He was the sole reason you could bear with anything in life including your uncle's mistreatment of you.

"Hi, eomma 1," Jun says and you smile at his way of avoiding confusion. "Dance camp was fun except for when Shin Kyung spat on me. That wasn't fun." He pouts. "I-"

"You didn't tell me he spat on you!"

"I'm still not telling you, Eomma 2. I'm telling Eomma 1."