ALANA

70

ALANA

Ares comes out, dressed in a white dress shirt tucked into black dress pants. I take a moment to admire him, this being possibly the last time I see him.

I feel my throat choke with tears at the thought.

He seems to be in a hurry as he puts on his watch, getting ready to leave for work, like always. So quick to leave.

"I- I need to talk to you." My voice cracks.

"Later, I have to go." He says annoyed, collecting his things.

"This will only take 2 minutes." my voice again, cracks with held back tears.

"What?" he asks not turning to look at me as he is walking over to the dresser.

"I want to leave."

He stops dead in his tracks, turning around to face me.

"What did you say?" He asks, his mouth parting in disbelief.

"I want to leave." I repeat, my voice wavering as I hold back my tears. Ares scoffs.

"No." He simply states, turning back around.

"I want to leave." I say forcefully, a third time. He turns around at the speed of light, walking over and stopping two feet away from me.

"Yeah? Why so you can be with Ethan?" he spits. My tears finally relent, falling freely now.

"That is why." I sniffle. "There is nothing left to save in this marriage, nothing to salvage of this relationship." I cry.

"Alana, I have to leave, stop with the bullshit." He says, something almost like pain can be heard in his voice

"This is something I have thought alot about, and I have decided that it is what I want to do." His hands fall to his sides. "We were never together because we wanted to be, we were forced together." I shake my head.

"Stop this." he says, his voice sounding foreign.

"You accused me of something I think is the lowest thing a person can do. You did not doubt my honor, you accused it and you did not even let me explain. You don't even hold me to a regard that you could spare me a chance to justify myself." tears are now pouring down my face.

He says nothing, standing motionless just staring at me, tracing the tears that leave my eyes with his.

"I tried so hard. I gave you my everything. Everything." I emphasize. He closes his eyes, his jaw clenching. "I thought that if I gave you myself completely, you would maybe atleast respect me. But you don't. You don't even respect me enough to not strip me of my dignity infront of a man Ive known for barely two weeks." I sob. "I cant let this be our life. This life of constant misunderstanding and pain. It is not easy nor worth it. I have to leave."

"Didn't you promise me forever? You vowed. You cannot do this, you cannot leave." he says, stepping closer, an almost desperate edge to his tone.

"I have feelings for you." I admit. His face drops. "Ofcourse I do. You are the only man I have been with, you are my first everything, so of course I do." I sniffle, gulping away tears.

"Say the same to me and I'll stay." I ask. He freezes, staring at me. "You cant." I whisper. "I have spent my entire life, wasted on people who did not have the ability or strength to love me. I am tired. I am done. I will not do it anymore." I draw in a deep breath. "Not even for you." I say.

His eyes soften, staring at me as if I were inflicting pain upon him.

"You can't leave, there are no divorces in our families." he says, his voice picking up a few octaves.

"I do not have a family. Remember when you asked me who died yesterday? Everyone. Everyone I know and was related to is dead. I am alone, I have no one. And I do not blame you for not wanting me, my own father did not." My voice cracks. "This is not a matter of question. I am done." I declare.

"No, and this whole discussion was pointless." he says angrily. Right back to his original self. It seems like he wants to say more but he just storms out.

I fall back onto the couch, not holding back my cries.

I wail in absolute pain, my body feeling like I am dissipating, slowly into an abyss.

ARES

"Say the same to me and I'll stay." she asks, her voice sounding pained.

Say it. Tell her. She's going to leave just fucking tell her the truth.

"You can't." she whispers defeatedly, like she never expected me to say it. "I have spent my entire life, wasted on people who did not have the ability or strength to love me. I am tired. I am done. I will not do it anymore." she pauses, "Not even for you." I feel my heart stop, her words cutting through me.

She can't leave. There is no divorces in the familia. There's no way she can leave me.

"You can't leave, there are no divorces in our families." I say, some hope evident in my voice.

"I do not have a family. Remember when you asked me who died yesterday? Everyone. Everyone I know and was related to is dead. I am alone, I have no one. And I do not blame you for not wanting me, my own father did not." her voice cracks, a sting in my chest makes me realize how badly I fucked up. "This is not a matter of question. I am done." she declares.

Fuck no.

"No, and this whole discussion was pointless." I say, trying to sound as assertive as I can. She cannot leave.

~

I am alone, I have no one.

I clench my hands around the steering wheel, speeding up.

I want to leave.

I turn into a street, the tires drifting.

I have feelings for you.

I hit the brakes, the tires screeching to a halt.

I feel my eyes sting and my eyebrows furrow at the vaguely familiar but peculiar sensation.

She wants to leave. I drove her to a point where she has come to a decision that is unheard of in our society.

Her words repeat themselves, cutting through me in a way that makes me want to go back to her and hold her forever so she can never say that she is leaving.

I feel my heart lurch at the thought of her not being in my life. The thought of not seeing her everyday. The thought of her delicate, intoxicating presence not being there anymore.

Of her not being mine anymore.