ALANA

73

ALANA

I tiredly walk upstairs, walking into my room, laying down after a long day of working. The new ache in my back makes me groan as I twist and turn to get comfortable. A horrible mistake really because the twisting and turning makes me nauseous again and I run to the bathroom we all share, throwing up the single pastry I had managed to eat today.

"Fuck Lana you okay?" Beatrice asks, handing me a bunch of tissue. I groan, shaking my head. "Were you thinking about your rich asshole of a husband?" she asks, pulling my hair back as I rinse my mouth.

We walk into the living room, and I fall tiredly onto the couch.

"What's wrong?" Seb asks.

"She threw up."

"Again?!" Naomi shrieks.

"Geez Nay, be more rude." Beatrice says pushing back my hair from my face.

"No I mean, do you think its something serious? It has been a month of you feeling sick. And it's worse in the mornings and-" she stops, her eyes widening dramatically. "Holy shit!" she shouts, running over to sit next to me. "Lana, babes, when was your last period?" she asks me. I furrow my eyebrows in confusion.

"Um, I did not get it last month due to the stress I think and I will be getting it again on 4th according to my cycle." I tell her. "Why" I ask curiously.

All three of their faces look pale, the look of utter and complete petrification on them.

"What?" I ask, frowning.

"Lana it's the 9th today." Beatrice informs. My heart drops.

"O-oh." I whisper. "Well perhaps it is just adjusting." I shrug, absentmindedly touching my belly. They all share a look. "What?" I ask again.

"Could you stand? I wanna check something." Naomi asks. I stand up straight looking at her questioningly. She reaches out, flattening a hand down my belly, stopping just under it. Seb and Beatrice gasp, making me frown.

"What am I fat?" I ask trying to peak down.

"No love, you have a bump." Naomi says. My eyes fully widen, I touch my my belly and surely, it seems to be bulging slightly.

"W-what" I sputter. "N-no it can't be, I would've noticed it before, surely I-" I cut myself off with a gasp when I see the very noticeable bump in the mirror. "How did I not see this?" I whisper, tears gathering my eyes.

"Oh hun, you've been so crazed lately, you probably don't even take the minute to look at yourself. Plus, all you wear is dresses, no one could tell." Naomi hugs me. I sniffle.

"Why would God bless me with a baby?" I cry. "Doesn't he know my marriage is no longer intact?" I cry harder at the thought of my baby.

"Hun, that's not exactly how that works. I mean you obviously had sex right?" Seb asks. I feel my cheeks heat and I nod. "So when a man and a woman have sex, if they don't use protection, it makes a baby inside the woman." he tells me.

"Ew!" I gasp. "The poor baby is the result of something so naughty? Why?" I ask in confusion. They burst out laughing but Naomi shushes them.

"Seb, Bea, run out and get us some pregnancy tests will you?" She asks them. They nod, quickly jumping up and running out. "You okay hun?" she asks me. I nod, forcing a smile on. "Okay I'll make you some chicken noodle soup, wait here." she walks away.

I will never want children. No more burdens. No more attachments.

I feel my lip tremble at my recollection of his words.

I can't even tell the father of my baby that it exists.

My hand goes to my tummy, caressing the life inside of it, an action that I have perhaps been doing for over a month now, albeit unconciously.

ARES

23 days.

I watch as the sun sets on the 23rd day of my life without her. I watch as the world does not stop spinning at the injustice that it is that we are not together.

Everyday that passes I loathe myself a little more. Pain so deep it leaves me numb.

"Jesus fucking Christ Xander, this place is smoked up." Damon coughs, opening the windows in my study, just as I light another cigarette.

"This your house Damon?" I ask him rhetorically. He rolls his eyes.

"Did you get another tattoo?" He asks, looking at my wrapped up arm.

"Four." I tell him.

"Jesus." He spits. "Man you need to stop puncturing yourself on a daily basis. And stop with the constant smoking, you'll die before youre 30" he coughs. "And get some sleep." He says. I just sigh.

"Xander, seriously man what's it going to take? Just shave and sleep, it's all I ask." he says. "You're actually going to disintegrate." he scoffs.

"I am not going anywhere before I find my little sheep." I tell him. "You don't think it is alarming that the best team in the world cannot find her?" I ask him.

"No. I think she is a clever girl who is tiny, and can easily hide in any corner of the world." he shrugs. "Besides, she did not even have her phone on her. I can't imagine finding her that easy. Plus it's only been three weeks, you'll find her, but she's going to go screaming for the hills if she sees you in this state." he shrugs.

I flip him off, standing up, putting out my cigarette.

"Her art looks good on you brother." He calls behind me as I walk to my empty room. A room without the warm, sexy presence of my innocent little wife.

Oh little sheep, when I find you, I am never letting you go again.

AN:

You guys deserve a double update. K goodnight, dont expect me for atleast 15 hours 🧡🤍