ALANA

96

ALANA

After a long and fun day at the Zoo with Ace, I was exhausted. By the time I had him bathed and in bed at 7pm I was ready to sleep.

I don't know where Ares is.

After a shower, I felt much better and kind of hungry. I also cried in the shower so that helped. I think because I am on my period, it is helping me be more mad than sad. I don't know my body works opposite to most.

I dress in comfortable sweats and pick up my phone, seeing a text from Griffin.

It's a picture of a file and he's asking if I can check if he left in on Ares' desk. I sigh and reply with 'give me a second', walking over to the office, hoping incredible hulk isn't in there.

Thankfully he's not so I walk in and scan his desk for it and shoot Griffin a 'Not here, sorry' text. As I turn to leave, I knock over some papers and a brown envelope that something slides out of.

Oh no.

I pick everything up, praying nothing is murder papers that I accidentally messed up. Ok bad joke. I collect the thicker pages that slid out of the envelope, getting ready to slide them in when something odd catches my eye.

Is that, me?

I take the pictures out looking at them one after the other. Who the heck is this man? When did I do this? Is this a joke? I all but shriek when one of me kissing this strange man pops up.

Oh my god.

ARES

I walk up to our floor to change then head out, seeing that my study light and door is open I decide to check on it.

When I see Alana standing inside, a horrified expression on her face as she looks down at some papers, the first feeling to wash over me is relief.

"Alana I thought you left. What-"

"What the hell are these?" she asks, her face is mortified, eyes teary. My blood runs cold when I see what she's looking at.

"They are fake, someone emailed those to me and I-"

"This is why you've been so rude to me? Why you've been screaming and acting cold? Why you've been distant and mean to our 2 year old? You thought these were real?" She states, her eyes flashing with hurt. Her eyebrows come together desperately, as if begging for me to say no.

But I can't. I cannot lie to my wife.

Her face changes eyebrows raised as she swallows and nods her head, gulping down.

"Yes because that's all I have given you in the past three years. Reasons to think I would be disloyal." She half laughs half cries.

"No baby please don't let those get to you-"

"I didn't!" she raises her voice. "You did." she accuses as her voice breaks. "And the sad part is, this isn't even the first time." she laughs, wiping off her tears. I can literally feel her heart break.

"Baby please don't, Im sorry!" I stress.

"Don't call me that." she shakes her head. My gut twists. "And stop saying sorry. Ut doesn't fix anything. Sorry means nothing to me when you do the same things over and over." She runs both her hands through her hair. "I give you everything. Everyday I give everything. We have a baby, I spend my days in our house with our family taking care of our kid, doing our chores because I love you, and I want this life with you." she cries.

"What about you then Ares? Huh? If this is all it takes, then you're out of the house everyday for hours." She challenges. I would never do that. "Have I ever once accused you of cheating on me? Of being untruthful to me?" she asks. She sounds hysterical and I don't blame her.

"I hated when you accused me of this 2 years ago. And I hate it now. I thought you knew that." she says sadly. "Just like I thought you knew how feel about myself being so skittish." she sniffles, shaking her head as she tries to shove past me but I fall to my knees infront of her, making her stop dead in her tracks.

ALANA

"You have to forgive me." Ares almost sounds desperate. I have never seen him look so helpless before. I don't like it. "I thought you left today, I thought you left again, for good. I thought you took our son and left because you finally had enough and I experienced what life would feel like if that ever happened," he shakes his head, and I see tears forming in his eyes.

"I didn't believe it for a second my love, I really didn't. I just got so angry when the image of you-" he stops as if it physically pains him. "It kept coming into my head, I couldn't stop myself from lashing out. But more than anything I was so fucking scared. I was fucking terrified by the pain I felt for the millisecond that I first saw them and thought they could be real.

I didn't really process them, I just threw myself into work and trying to fucking find the rascal in them. I did not even stop to explain to myself just how I trust you. If I did then I wouldn't have reacted like that." he says looking up into my eyes with despair.

"Why wouldn't you come to me with them if you never doubted me?" I ask him exasperatedly.

"Because I knew you would hate to see them. I knew they would break your heart a little. But now I have just managed to do that all on my own." he explains quickly. I swallow harshly, chewing on my lip.

"You have hurt me so much since yesterday." I cry. Ares' eyes turn even more sad as hr scoots even closer. "I felt alone and embarrassed. You kept dismissing me. I felt so cheap." I shrug. He shakes his head.

"I hold you to such a high regard and every little inconvenience, even a little bit of doubt and you reduce me to nothing in a matter of minutes." I can't help but sob. "It takes away a little part of my self esteem every time I forgive you Ares, you have to understand that." I cry.

"I do, and I am so sorry. I know my apologies don't fix anything, but I just need you to know." he says. "I am on my knees for you, giving you back every little bit of respect I have taken from you, giving you everything I have. My ego and anger stand to nothing next to my love for you. And this life you've built us.

I am sorry it took this long to realise what it means to love someone unconditionally. But I do now. I love you with no rhyme or reason. Rain or scorching sun I love you. Through every single moment of every single day, I love you. Nothing you can ever do will change that. You could pierce a dagger through me, walk out of here, trampling my heart in your wake and I will still love you." Ares describes to me, desperately, a single tear falling from his eye.

"But say you forgive me Alana, one last time for the rest of our lives I promise, this last chance. Forgive me." He hugs my waist tightly, pressing his cheek to my stomach making me sob freely.

I hate this feeling of love and hurt.