MFT 2/ Final Class

Christmas

Logan's POV:

Still sitting in the dark, I realized that I still had something to do. Quietly and without a light, I grabbed my backpack and carefully left Kendall's room. Once I reached the door, I slowly pushed the handle down and stepped into the almost dark hallway. From up here, I could make out light in the lower level of the house and crept down the stairs. My eyes quickly adjusted to the warm orange light emanating from the Christmas tree lights. Looking at the glowing tree brought back fond memories in my mind. Before I could immerse myself in these thoughts, I sat down on the couch and fixed my gaze on the tree.

12.24.1999 Christmas Eve

My excitement was hard to miss. I bounced from one foot to the other like a rubber ball and smiled for hours. Today was Christmas Eve and that meant: a lovely sensual evening together with my sister, my mother, Jake my stepfather and my grandparents. A lavishly laid dinner table with lots of side dishes and, of course, a big brown roast turkey. The smell alone made my saliva leave the corners of my mouth in droplets. Presley's laughter was etched in my memory as she sat on the raised chair looking at me at the age of three. During the meal, old stories always came up that always made us laugh. For example, when Jake stumbled with the side dishes and then balanced them or when Grandma wanted to give me a pink Barbie doll. After dinner and with a full stomach, we lay down on the comfortable, soft red couch with a direct view of the fireplace that Jake had prepared earlier. Tins of cookies on the festively decorated coffee table, a Christmas movie on the TV program and all this in the perfectly dimmed light of the floor lamp. All snuggled up together watching the movie, I loved that day more than anything. As Presley and I drifted off to sleep, we were gently brought upstairs to our beds by our mom and Jake.

A mild smile formed on my face as I thought about that time. It would never be as beautiful as it was as a child. The richly decorated Christmas tree with lots of colorful baubles, fairy lights and the incomparably wonderful scent of the fir tree in my childhood memories. Now, 20 years later, Christmas feels quite different. When I was seven, presents were my main priority and my family came second, of course. Nowadays, I want nothing more than to spend the Christmas holidays with my family. I fished the small wrapped present I had bought for Kendall out of my rucksack. It wasn't anything great, but it was something he would be happy to receive. I then put the present under the big tree and continued to sit on the couch. I got to thinking again. This was the first year that Mum hadn't been able to celebrate Christmas with us. All because of me. I was to blame for her unhappiness. I lowered my head, propped my arms on my knees and let my head fall into my hands. Tears gathered in my eyes, some of them already reaching the floor and shining through the fairy lights on the wooden floor.

"Logan?" I heard a soft voice to my right. I didn't bother to lift my head to see who it was. I didn't really care. "Are you okay?" Mrs. Knight asked, coming closer to the couch. Without me saying anything, she hugged me and I felt the pleasant body heat radiating from her. A sob escaped my mouth as I thought of Mom's hugs. They were just as warm and comforting. Mrs. Knight hugged me tightly and gently stroked my head with her right hand. It felt good not to hide my feelings and not to have to say why immediately. After about ten minutes, I managed to calm down and wiped the remaining tears from my cheeks with the back of my hand. I slowly lifted my head and looked beside me. Mrs. Knight was sitting cross-legged with a bright purple colored pyjamas and looked at me with pity in her eyes. "Are you all right?" she asked carefully, placing her left hand on my shoulder. "Somewhat," was my answer as I tried to concentrate on something else. "Can't you sleep?" she inquired. "I had a dream and was reminded of a terrible event," I replied and looked at her briefly until I averted my eyes again. "Oh. I couldn't go back to sleep either. You're thinking about her, aren't you?". She snapped me out of my thoughts with this question and caused confusion. "Who?" I asked briefly. "Your mother."