might aswell be real- joão félix

vinte e três

I need to talk to someone, for the first time in weeks, I can't be alone. The only person I can think about talking to is Junior, he's the only one who I can talk to and I know he'll listen.

I facetime him and he picks up almost immediately, "Tati, are you okay? Dad told me every- you look so bad."

I wipe my tears which doesn't matter because more tears flow out, "please don't remind me,  I just need to talk."

He nods his head, "what's up?"

I sigh, "you really really can't tell anyone. Promise me Jr, not even your dad."

"I promise." I know I can trust him but still if this gets out everyone is screwed.

"me and Joao were, are in a fake relationship," I say.

His mouth drops, "what?"

I ignore his shocked expression and keep talking, "but just two weeks ago he told me he liked me, for real and I liked him back so now we're together." 

"this is crazy, that's why it was so sudden?" He comes to a realization. 

I nod my head, "then obviously I haven't talked to anyone apart from you and your family in weeks so we haven't hung out once we got together, but he kissed his ex."

He looks at me speechless. "And yeah, I'm being selfish because I disappeared, but if he really liked me he wouldn't do that right."

Junior shakes his head, "I wouldn't."

"so you think it was all a lie, he doesn't really like me?" I ask. I already know the answer but I need a second opinion. He definitely wouldn't do this if he liked me.

"not all of it. I think he's just trying to distract himself from you," he tells me. "He's a hundred percent in the wrong, but he misses you and about Magui, he clearly has some sort of attachment to her. The real question is do you really think he's cheating?"

"I don't know for sure but the pictures look real to me." I sigh, "tell tio I'm flying to Saudi."

"what?" He definitely heard what I said.

"I'm coming to stay with you." I wasn't going to but I need to get over this and I can't do it here. I don't like staying with my tio because I feel like a burden but I don't feel like I have a choice now.

"for real?" Why is he still confused?

"you don't seem very happy," I tell him.

"are you crazy? I was waiting for you to say that. When are you coming?" Okay maybe he is very excited for me to come.

"I'm booking the first flight tomorrow," I grab my laptop and start booking my flight. Yes I'm public flying but I'm not worried. I can't be alone with my thoughts so flying with a bunch of strangers will take my mind of things.

"what about Joao?" He is the last thing I'm thinking about right now.

"the Euros is in a few weeks I'll see him then." I'll probably still avoid him to be fair.

"I'm telling dad, see you tomorrow," he hangs up excited.

I pay for my flight and when I close my laptop someone knocks on my door. If I take an educational guess, it's the one person I don't want to talk to, "please fuck off."

"Tatijana, I'm sorry." I hear Joao say through the door.

"I thought you liked me Joao." I'm over this, I don't want to hear his apology.

"I do, but then two days later you won't talk to me," he has no right to be mad at me after what he's put me through. 

"I don't wanna talk about it. Is that so bad?" I argue back. 

"but why not?" He asks.

"not like you care, when you're making out with your ex." I'm gonna cry again, for the 300th time this week.

"Tati, it was never supposed to happen," he says.

"but it did." Nothing he says will make me forgive him.

"please forgive me," he begs.

"I'm at my lowest point again Joao and you've made it worse." I tell him, I'm so annoyed right now.

"again?" I'm not explaining this to him.

"just fuck off please. It was better when we were faking dating I can't believe I ever fell for you." I regret everything that I've don't since getting to know him.

"I never wanted this to happen." I start to sob and hear him walking away.

After a while  I force myself to get up and pack my suitcases.

The next day

I walk out my room still feeling and looking like shit. I go downstairs and see Joao sitting on the counter by himself. He looks up at me in surprise, "where are you going?" Wouldn't he like to know

"Saudi." I tells me blankly.

"atleast tell me what's wrong," he says.

"no." I shake my head.

"you can't do that. Ignore me, ignore everyone for two weeks, then leave. It's not fair on us. You know your being really selfish, you're such a conceited brat." My jaw drops. There's no way he said that to me.

"wow Joao really, you can't cheat on me publicly humiliate me then act like we're fine," he's so self-centered. How did I not see this before?

He throws his hands around, "come on."

"I'll see you at the Euros Joao, I hope Magui keeps you entertained for that long." Petty, I know but he deserves it. I leave put my bags in my car and drive to the airport.

im actually so excited for the euros guys you dont even understand ive been so bored without football i want to kms

please don't forget to vote!!

enjoy hope you're living your best life cause i know i'm not!!