might aswell be real- joão félix

quarenta e oito

I go into the room and see Mateo and Eva asleep I slowly wake them up, "prima."

"oi Mateo," I help him out of bed.

"I missed you," Eva gives me a tight hug.

"I missed you guys too, how have you been?" I ask them.

"good, are you okay?" I sigh. Joao is the only thing I can think about and I haven't seen my cousins in what feels like forever. I wanna have fun with them but I'm so shaken up we just made up and now look.

I force a smile onto my face, "yeah, I bought pizza so we have to get up."

"okay," we go to the living room.

"where's papa?" Mateo asks.

"him and mama went out," Cris tells him. Then there's a knock on the door.

I bring the pizza in and we all sit on the counter, they all start eating, Joao's favourite food. I can't eat it because I can't stop thinking, a million questions are running through my mind. Is he gonna break-up with me? Will he ever let me explain? Will he even look at me again? What's gonna happen cause technically we still have to fake date? Is this how he felt when I was ignoring him because then I feel so bad.

"are you not gonna have some?" Cris tries to give me a slice.

I shake my head, "not hungry."

He clearly sees through my lie, "come with me."

We go to his room. "I need to make sure they're okay," I say trying to avoid this conversation.

"this will be quick, I don't know what's happened okay, and even though your definitely telling me later, I'm not gonna watch you beat yourself up over him. I watched what happened with Davi and even though I was too young to understand what happened, I saw you at your worst, and every day I was scared that something bad was gonna happen to you. I cried because you were sick physically and I couldn't do anything about it, and I'm not just gonna sit there and let you do the same thing for a guy that doesn't deserve you, so please forget about him at least just for today I miss my favourite cousin and I wanna have fun with her." 

Even when I doubt if he still cares for me he always proves me wrong. Times like this makes me realize that he doesn't have to tell me everything I'll find out in my own time but he'll always be there for me and that's what makes me his favourite and him mine.

"see I even feel guilty for making you feel that at such a young age, your parents were too busy with me so you had to be dragged into it," I put my head in my hands.

"you shouldn't because now I can help you when you need now that I understand everything," he hugs me.

"thank you Jr I really needed that I love you so much and you're right." Only he can make me feel better about myself this quickly.

"I love you too," he gives me a genuine smile. 

"now lets go." We go back to the kitchen and Mateo is crying.

"guys I was gone for a minute." What possibly could have gone wrong this bad?

"Alana threw pizza at Mateo," Eva snitches.

"he wasn't eating his food," Alana tries defending herself.

I pick up the pizza from the floor, "let's leave the punishments to me Alana."

"I'm not hungry," Mateo crosses his arms.

"okay, let's get you cleaned up," I lift him up and get him changed.

I come back tidy up all the boxes and we play some just dance and bake some cookies. It's fun spending time with family that genuinely love me. I've always been closer to them than my actual family but I don't care anymore I know where I'm welcome and it's here.

3 hours later

"okay, bed time," I tell them. I take Eva and Mateo but Alana refuses to move.

"I'm not tired," she throws herself to the ground.

"please stop you'll hurt yourself," I sigh. "I'll buy you nutella tomorrow if you go to bed."

She stops crying almost immediately, "promise."

"promise," we join pinkies.

"okay let's go," I put her to bed.

"night guys, see you tomorrow," I turn the light off and close the door behind me.

i don't know what to say here so yeah my school finishes tomorrow yay

please don't forget to comment and vote!!

enjoy hope you're living your best life cause i know i'm not!!