might aswell be real- joão félix

quarenta e um

"that's what my ex Davi said and he cheated on me multiple times, abused me physically and mentally but I was too weak to break it off with him and I know you're not him, you're better but you have to understand, there was a time in my life where I overdosed on drugs a lot of drugs a lot of times. There was a time in my life when I spent most of my time in the hospital, and when my dad died I went back to that state, you know you saw me. With the media as well making everything worse when they have no clue what happened but he made himself the victim and then you kissing Magui and the media slagging me off when all I wanted to do was enjoy the Euros with you and my uncle and friends so we could win. This was the hardest time of my life and you Joao you didn't make it any easier. Yes I should have told you, yes I shouldn't have blocked myself out but you shouldn't have done or said what you did either."

He looks at me so sadly and desperately, "did all this really happen?"

I nod my head, why would I lie about that? "Yeah Joao, happy now? Now you understand why I never wanted to talk about my past relationship, why I don't wanna forgive you, why I'm scared to even get in another relationship. You've got what you wanted, you've finally pressured me enough into telling you about my ex."

"fuck I didn't mean to do any of that." He puts his head into his hands. We're both in so much tears right now my make-up is fucked his eyes are red and puffy both are shirts drenched in tears. He looks at me. "Please Tatijana forgive me, I know what I did is unforgivable but I can't live without you and I know it sounds crazy because I still barely know you and the big dip in our relationship but Pedri and Alba were right. I'm jealous when you talk to someone else and I don't mean that in a controlling way but I just really wanna be with you outside a media relationship."

"can we just say our wrongs cancel each other out and move on with our relationship?" I give in, because even though he broke my heart.  can't go through the heartbreak of not being with him aswell. I know we can get over this.

"I'd really love that." I hug him and we lay on the bed.

"I really miss my dad and it sounds crazy now but I wish he was still here and I could apologise for everything." I put my head in his chest and cry he kisses my head.

"it's gonna be okay just let your tears out," he kisses my forehead.

"I'm so so sorry, I never told you," I say. I wish I could just stop crying over little thing.

"it's okay, it makes this one month anniversary great." My heart sinks.

"and I'm here crying my eyes out I don't even have a present." I sit up.

He shakes his head, "honestly it's fine you're talking to me and that's the only thing I really wanted and plus you got me the Bentley right."

"I don't even know if you like the red one Pedri just said that so we'd stop arguing," I feel so bad. "And yes I know red is your favourite colour but a car is different and it didn't even cost anything."

"it's not about the money Tati," he reassures me.

"we need to celebrate," I say feeling so guilty.

"we don't, I promise," he looks at me seriously.

I wipe my tears and stand up as he sits on the edge of the bed, "no, no we have to celebrate."

"do you know how I wanna celebrate?" He asks as if I can read his mind.

"how?"

"room service, watching a movie cuddling you because we have a match today." No wonder tio wanted me to make up with him so bad they play tonight.

Portugal literally just scored as I'm uploading this so yess. also it hasnt been proof read so get over it.

please don't forget to vote!!

enjoy hope you're living your best life cause i know i'm not!!