might aswell be real- joão félix

quarenta e nove

I come back to the living room and see Jr with his airpods in on his phone. He gives me one of them, I put it in my ear and listen to the music which is just my songs, "wow I really am talented."

We laugh, but then he sighs, "what happened then?"

"you don't want to know," I tell him but really I just don't want to talk about it.

"trust me I do," I sigh and put my knees against my chest facing him.

I honestly don't know where to start, "after the match I bumped into Davi." He looks shocked, "yep, anyway he was being delusional he said he wanted me back or whatever, he tried to kiss me and grabbed me hard." 

I check my waist and see bruises, Cris gives me a worried look, "shit are you okay?"

I nod my head, it doesn't hurt, "I'm fine don't worry anyway Joao saved me from that but then Davi brought up our kid"

"oh my god how is Ali?" Cris jokes but when I shake my head he apologises, "my bad."

"anyway Joao left really mad before I got to tell him that it was a miscarriage and..." My eyes start tearing up, "he thinks we have a kid roaming the earth. He's been ignoring me, Davi wants to start a family with me and it would have been worse if your dad didn't come and save me. I just don't know, I should've told him about my miscarriage so maybe this is my fault. Maybe if I was truthful from the start then he wouldn't break up with me."

He lifts up my chin to look at him, "hey hey, you're not a liar just because you haven't been comfortable enough to tell him that. That kind of thing breaks a person and the fact your still here living your best life with all the emotional trauma you've been through, shows just what type of person you are. If he doesn't hear you out and breaks up with you then he's a shit boyfriend anyway."

"language," no matter how serious a situation is I've always got to remind him about his language.

He chuckles, "he's not worth your tears and you'll forever be out of his league so forget about him, it's not your fault, I'm proud of you for even being able to tell anyone and you shouldn't feel rushed to tell people about what happened."

I hug him, "what would I do without you and your wise words?"

He laughs, "who knows? Do you feel better now?"

"yeah," I nod my head and for once I'm not lying either I genuinely just feel better now.

"what was Davi doing anyway?" He asks.

"I don't know but he must've known I was here." That was obvious but I honestly don't know what else to say.

"of course he did you're like so famous," he tells me.

"thanks primo tell me something I don't know," I joke making us both laugh.

"are you sure you don't want ice your bruise looks bad?" He asks genuinely concerned.

"I'm fine trust me, anyway enough of my sob story tell me about your girlfriend." I can't believe I only just found out that he had one but hey at least I know now.

"I met her on a walk with my friends her name is Adelina, she's Portuguese, pretty." I swear I see him drooling.

"prettier than me?" I tease.

"way prettier," we laugh, "she's so nice and empathetic we've been dating for about three months."

"three months and your telling me now why didn't you tell me earlier I really thought we were losing our bond, when you were keeping something from me,"  I say still somewhat hurt that he couldn't trust me with this.

"oh Tati, I never wanted it to seem like that I just always want to make sure you like the people in my life because your important and I was scared you wouldn't like her and then I'd have to cut her out my life, so I kept her from you. But you can always see right through me I promise I didn't want to lie at all, I just didn't know how you'd react" he tells me. He's very serious about it but I never want him to feel that way.

I shake my head, "I never want you to feel that way I love her already and I haven't even met her yet, I'm just happy you've told me now and I'm sorry if I made you feel that way."

"no." He completely shuts downs the idea, "I'm just overthinking, ever since uncle died my mind hasn't really been there but she helped me."

"yeah at least you didn't shut her out that was my big mistake," I sigh. My mind automatically goes back to Joao again.

"didn't give him the right to talk to his ex," Cris reassures me.

"I guess not." The thing I wasn't not mad at him for going to Magui I really left him with no other option. I was upset that he kissed her because I was insecure and he said all these words but I thought they were all lies the second he kissed her.

"how do you feel about his death anyway now that you're kinda over it?" He asks. The truth is  I feel guilty because I know I shouldn't feel upset we were never close I treated him like he was nothing. It's not fair that now he's dead I regret my choices because if he was still alive, I'd still treat him like shit.

"I don't know, I was never close with him so it wasn't as hard he always preferred you over me to be honest he preferred everyone over me, it feels dumb how much I was crying when I never loved him." I say truthfully, "I still blame myself, I still wish it was me not him cause even though I never liked him death is something I would never wish on anyone. I wished it on him before he died."

He hugs me again, "you can't blame yourself, no one can be to blame, he should've treated you better but he's gone and all we can do is look forward."

"where did dumb clueless Jr go?" I joke making us both laugh, "that's enough serious talk for one day."

"what plans do you have tomorrow?" He asks randomly.

"I was supposed to go out with Joao but that's not happening, and I need to buy Alana nutella but apart from that nothing," I tell him wondering where this is going.

"you wanna go out just us two?" That actually makes me smile.

"of course I would?" I've been wanting to hang out just us two for a while.

"you're paying for everything," he tells me. Very aggressively.

I scoff, "you invited me."

"you're rich," he informs me like I don't check my bank account every day. 

"you're dad will give you money whenever," I argue.

"I'm wise this is your future," he says in a weird accent.

I put my hands up, "fine, fine I'll pay but you better not buy expensive things for no reason," I warn him.

"of course I will," he says like it's obvious. I'll steal Cristiano's card.

I roll my eyes, "just show me Adelina."

NO MORE SCHOOL!! and i go on holiday next week guys im actually loving life right now i know shocking

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enjoy hope you're living your best life!!