might aswell be real- joão félix

quarenta

The next day

"talk to him," my tio tells me at breakfast.

"about what? The fact he broke my heart and doesn't seem to care," I rant. Suddenly all my feeling turn to anger. I'm angry that he treated me like this, not sad.

"of course he cares he wouldn't want to talk to you if he didn't," he tries to reassure me.

"he wouldn't have cheated if he cared, he's just gonna come up with excuses that I don't wanna hear." I'm tired of people telling me to talk to him when I don't want to.

"if not for you him or me then do it for your country we have the Euro's to win and we need Joao to do it, he can't even kick a ball all because he wants to talk to you." I can't believe he's just said that to me.

"no tio that's not fair you can't force me to talk to him and you can't pressure me by saying things like that," I stand up.

"sobrinha," he tries to get me to it back down but I walk off.

I storm to my room and to just my luck I see Joao on my bed. I wouldn't be surprised if they planned this, "get out."

"we need to talk." I'm tired of talking  about my feeling, if I wanted to talk to him I would've.

"how'd you even get in here?" I ask him, because there's no way Alba gave him her key. 

"I had to beg the receptionist," I roll my eyes.

"alright well you can leave now." I put my phone on the table expecting him to get up and leave but he hasn't even moved.

"I'm not leaving until we talk," he says seriously.

"I don't know why, we're over now there's nothing to talk about." He can't break up with me than expect us to best friends.

"exactly that we need to talk about our break-up," he says. 

I sigh, "if you don't leave I will,"

"no please, 5 minutes," he begs me.

Tear are already forming in my eyes which was what I was scared about in the first place, "I don't understand, you wanted me to break up with you, I wasn't gonna, I was gonna wait so we could talk this out but you clearly didn't want to. I would've talked to you earlier Joao, I wanted to talk to you but when you did that in front of my friends as well I felt absolutely embarrased."

"I don't know, it was just in the heat of the moment, I didn't mean it, I didn't know you were actually gonna do it," he tell 

"just like it was in the heat of the moment when you kissed Magui." I'm not even being petty . He's in the wrong.

"please lets talk," he beg. I he wasn't sitting down he would be on his knees.

I'm going to get his over with, and then we won't have to talk again, "you wanna talk, let's talk then."

I sit down next to him, "what happened? Why did you isolate yourself?"

"my dad died Joao," I sigh, I had to tell him eventually I just never thought it would be this way. "He needed money for surgery and he asked me and I didn't know, so I didn't give it to him and now he's dead okay, that's why I've been pushing you and everyone else away, that's why I was in my room 24/7 that's why I went to Saudi."

"for these past 4 weeks that's whats been going on?" He says in complete disbelief. I nod my head, "I'm so, so sorry."

"you said it yourself, you're not sorry I'm being selfish, I'm a conceited brat, you're not the only person who can go through struggles Joao," I say angrily.

"no I would have never said that if this was what you were going through Tati but why wouldn't you tell me or anyone for that matter ?" He asks. As if he can ask that question, he can't even imagine what I feel like. His family are all alive and healthy  and they love him.

"I was mourning, I didn't want to tell anyone, I didn't know if you really liked me Joao. I didn't know if you were still faking behind closed doors or if your feelings were genuine then when you go back to Magui what do you expect me to think?" There's no way he thought I was just going to run back into his arms.

"of course my feelings were genuine and I understand going back to my ex was wrong but you weren't talking to me, I felt lonely and no matter how many times she cheated, she made me feel loved," he explains holding deep eye contact with me.

I scoff, "that's your excuse."

"it's dumb I know but," he takes a deep breathe, "I don't know I had no one to talk to but her, Pedri doesn't understand what its like to be in a relationship, Alba is well, Alba, I confided in her and she gave me good advice and it was natural."

I roll my eyes, I don't know if that's what he meant, because that's the shitiest way to word it. "Natural, really? go back to her then."

He puts his hand in his head in annoyance. This boy has no right to be annoyed at me he said it," that's not what I meant Tati you know that she's my ex for a reason."

"you have to look at it from my point of view, Magui looks absolutely unreal and you went back to her two times after she cheated on you. How am I supposed to compete with that? You love her, she has some kind of magnetic pull over you, and I've known you for about a month. I don't look like her, I don't have a strong Portuguese accent like her, I'm nothing like her, we are together because of some media relationship, you love her for her, you had the slow burn bond, we were just shoved together whether we liked it or not and you clearly don't like it."

"so is this about you being insecure?" No way. He honestly has no respect.

"I'm not insecure, I'm jealous. And the fact I've jut told you all my feeling and instead of reassuring me you call me insecure makes me feel like shit." I'm balling my eyes out.

"I'm sorry, I'm not good with words. I don't love her, I've moved on. Clearly she isn't the right one for me and since you're nothing like her, that makes you perfect for me. It's just, we dated for so long, it felt right in that moment and I regretted it immediately, I didn't know paparazzi were there no one was supposed to know I immediately blocked her after and haven't talked to her since but it was too late

"Joao you out of all people know how I feel right now." He know the pain of being cheated on by a person you thought you could trust so the fact he put me through that shows his lack of empathy.

"and what did I do when I was in your situation." Great, this a laughing matter to him. He doesn't take anything seriously.

I scoff, "you took her back and what good did that do to you?"

He finally realises his joke isn't funny, "Tati please it never meant anything, I only like you, I feel horrible."

bro my life is currently going downhill so yeah live laugh love

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enjoy hope you're living your best life cause i know i'm not!!