Finding Her Joy

How It Started

*A/N Hello all. I know I'm probably late to the party, but I've been wanting to write this for a while and finally got the courage to do so. If you like it, great. If you don't, I get that not all stories are for everyone. Just please be kind to me since this is my first story. Chapters will be longer, but I figured this first one could just get us into the swing of things. Thanks, and I hope you enjoy.

(Mia's POV)
Trying to find your own joy is hard enough when somebody else isn't trying to take it from you. Roger stole mine a long time ago, and ever since then, I've been forced to steal the joy of others.

It started out just trying to get Reece and Autumn to not be so close. It broke my heart to go along with the plan that night, but I was tricked into it without knowing at the time. Why didn't I just say no?

I don't know why Roger wanted to keep them separated. It seemed so stupid and childish, and at the time, I was a child myself. I didn't want to do it, but he had something I was desperate for. He held it over me, and he still holds it over me now.

I knew a long time ago that my dad had run off with Reece and Autumn's mum. I also knew that Roger had information on where they were, or he made it seem like he did.

But how selfish were they to leave their children behind? Their mum knew how awful he was and still decided to leave her children. My dad was my world, and he knew it, and he still left me too. I didn't get it. As I got older and realized how Roger operates, I started to think that maybe she did want to take the siblings with her. What if Roger tricked her or threatened her if she tried to take them? Why would he keep them, though, if he was just going to treat them the way he did?

When it came to my dad, my whole childhood, I thought it was my fault he'd gone off with her. Maybe I wasn't enough of a reason to stay... maybe I was nothing. Although, after a while of thinking that way, you just stop caring. I had definitely closed off a part of myself that would allow me to care for someone the way I did my dad. Reece did the same thing with his mum. We were together for over 20 years, and not one time did either of us ever say we loved the other. Although we very rarely, if ever, talked about it, we both knew why we didn't say it. It's probably the same reason we never got married. Well, that and the fact that Reece wasn't exactly...my type...

After we'd finally split for the last time, I was definitely pissed. So was Roger. That's why he made me the deputy at Reeces nursery. I don't know why I thought Reece wouldn't win over Marjorie in the end. I guess I was just hoping that he wouldn't and would come crawling back to me again so I could get the information about my father from Roger. I'm so naive.

Roger was definitely mad that I hadn't managed to get Reece back on a short leash. I don't know why it was such a struggle this last time. It had always been so easy in the past. All I had to do was emotionally blackmail and threaten him. It seemed easy enough since I had been doing it this long. It just gets so exhausting always having to be the villain. I've been doing it for so long that I don't even know who I am anymore. If I wasn't trying to find my dad, then I would've stopped a long time ago.

I'd shown up to work this morning with all of this on my mind. I was still irritated, so much so that the other staff members were moving out of my path because they could see it on my face. As I walked past one of the rooms, I noticed one of the usual teachers was out sick, and there was another woman in there.

She was absolutely stunning. The way she interacted with the children, her inviting smile. I could feel the warmth and comfort from the corridor. I knew who she was even though I hadn't seen her face. Charlotte. Wow. I didn't expect her to be so wow just based on the descriptions of her that had been passed along through stories at family dinners at the Knight house. Roger and Autumn always talked about her, but they never mentioned details about her appearance. Just work stories and creepy parents. I really didn't expect her to be so pretty. I had put her in the same category as Marjorie. The section of my mind where if the name is mentioned it made me irritated in seconds. To be honest, I'd done that with everyone from the sister nursery. Roger always talked about them like they were saints.

I caught myself staring for too long and quickly bolted to the office to get started on the piles of work I knew were sitting on my desk. I didn't even want to work here, but someone had to keep an eye on Reece and Autumn. Someone had to keep the tension high between them and their nose in the siblings' business. Apparently, I'd drawn the short straw again. Will this ever end? At least I like children. Otherwise, this would actually be hell.