Finding Her Joy

Loose Ends

Charlotte looked so peaceful when she slept. She was a beautiful, porcelain doll. I'd woken up before her somehow and just stayed in bed with her for a while. She was facing away from me, and my arms were wrapped around her. Our legs tangled under the sheets. My face buried in the back of her neck.

I wanted to remember her like this, so I snuck out of bed to grab my camera. I had to "hug and roll" her, if you know you know, that way she didn't wake up before I could get back.

When I came back into the room, the sun was just starting to come up. The light was barely peaking through the windows, and the sunbeams had created a gorgeous glow on Chars face. I fixed her hair off of her face and took a few shots. They were stunning. She was stunning.

I kissed her forehead and then immediately went off to my office to edit them. Truthfully, there wasn't much I had to do to make them perfect. I just adjusted the lighting a little and made a few of the shots black and white. Char looked like she could've been the star in one of those old Hollywood films.

I stayed at my computer making the pictures perfect for a long time. So long, in fact, that Charlotte had woken up and had to come find me.

She knocked on the doorframe before coming in, and I quickly minimized the tab and spun around to greet her. I was hoping she didn’t see my screen already. "Good morning, sleepyhead. How did you sleep?" Play it cool, Amelia.

She smirked at me, "Morning. What was that you're working on?" She strutted over and sat down on my lap.

I scratched the back of my head and pretended not to know what she was talking about, "Uh... not working on anything. Is that a new shirt? You look so pretty in it."

"Mia," she's laughed, "I know you were doing something. Just show me. I won't judge, I promise." She reached around me and clicked the tab open before I had time to react.

"Wait! Don't look at- okay then." I covered my eyes as she looked at all the pictures I'd taken and all the ones I'd edited already. "I know. I'm a stalker," I said, shaking my head.

"They're so pretty." She whispered. I peaked through my hands to see her. She was clicking through all of them, trying to see every detail. "I didn't know you could make me look like this. The woman in the picture doesn't even look like me. She's so pretty."

"Sweetheart, I haven't touched that one yet. That's all you." She blushed and gave a sheepish smile before returning to the pictures on the screen.

"You know, you should really do something with these. Not just the ones of me, but all of them. You're so talented that everyone should see your work."

"No, they really aren't that good. I'd rather keep them all to myself." I said, resting my head on her shoulder and taking control of the computer.

She placed her arms around my neck and ran her fingers through my hair, "Always so modest. I'll convince you someday." She kissed my cheek and watched me finish the pictures.

Her words cut me deep. There wasn't going to be a someday for us. Our days were numbered, and we didn't have many left. Today and tomorrow, and then it would be over. I could feel my pulse start to race. My face felt flushed. My palms sweaty.

"Hey, are you okay?" Charlotte asked me, grabbing my face and checking my forehead for a fever.

I shook off the nerves and swallowed, but my mouth felt dry. "I'm fine. Just tired."

"Oh, poor baby. Just go lay down and relax. I'll make some coffee or something." She got up, taking my hand to pull me up.

When she tried to walk away, I grabbed her hand and spun her back into me. I just wanted to embrace her for a minute longer. I buried my face in her neck, holding on for longer than usual.