Finding Her Joy

Just Listen

*A/N- I want to go ahead and just release the rest of the poems... not sure, though. Any thoughts? Happy reading! Enjoy!

(MIA POV)
Everything's a blur. I only remember bits and pieces about the last 12 hours.

Physically, I'm in pain, but it's not as bad as it could be.

Mentally, I'm drained, and I feel like I could go the rest of my life without crying again. I didn't even realize I could make that many tears.

Have I become soft, or am I just more open to letting things out like that? It's awful, and it's gross.

I wasn't sure of the exact time it was when I woke up, but I knew it was later in the morning from the position of the sunbeams. My eye was swollen, so it was harder to see around me. I could feel someone behind me asleep. Char was the last one I'd remembered being in bed with me, so I rolled over to lay on her again for more comfort.

It was strange. She felt taller for some reason, and her breathing was different than normal as she slept. After the emotions of the last few hours, I just thought I was making things up and continued to lay there.

Suddenly, I thought I heard footsteps coming towards us. They stopped quickly in front of the bed. I opened my eyes to see a shadow standing over us.

Arms crossed. Hair short. Very thin. Shit...

"First, you leave in the middle of the night. Then, I come over here before the ass crack of dawn and have to help you off a major freak out. And now, I leave the room for 5 minutes to find you curled up next to another woman. Really, Amelia?" She half laughed, walking over to open the curtains so I could see what she was talking about.

I jumped away from the body with so much force that I fell off the bed and landed on my back. "Ow! Fu-"

"That's what you get," Char said, rolling her eyes and sitting on her knees next to me. She looked over at the girl in the bed, asking, "You couldn't stop her from laying on you?"

The girl sat up slowly, and now I could tell it was Autumn. She put her glasses on and said, "You said not to wake her. How was I supposed to know she wasn't sleeping?"

Charlotte rolled her eyes and shook her head, turning back to me and fixing my hair. "Good morning, Troublemaker. Ready to have a serious and sober conversation?"

I closed my eyes tight, "Sorry, still sleeping. Can't talk now, and possibly can't talk ever."

"That's not funny, Amelia. Get up. Now." Why did she have to have a backbone now? I liked it when she was firm with me, but not I'm this context...

I peaked one eye open, "But I hurt," I said in a whiney voice. I held my arms out to her slowly, grasping my hands at her, "uppies."

She frowned at me.

Autumn looked disgusted at how I was behaving with Charlotte. "I'm going to give you some privacy. Mostly because I didn't want to hear anything else like that come out of her mouth." She took her phone and headed to the guest room to freshen up.

"Please? I really can't get up by myself. It really hurts." I said, pleading with her.

She helped me up to my feet but mumbled, "Had you not been drunk off your ass, then maybe you wouldn't be in this position."

"I'm sorry. I just didn't know how to -"

She put her hand over my mouth, "Save it. I already know everything."

I looked at her, confusion taking over my face and body, "What do you mean? You can't know everything. I know I didn't explain it all, so... wait. Did you go through my phone in advance?"

"No, I didn't. Autumn answered your phone last night when Roger called, and apparently, he revealed basically everything to her." I relaxed for a moment, "She went through your messages with him later and got some evidence of his threats. We're hoping we can use it to get rid of him."

My stomach fell, "She went through all of them? Like... everything?" I walked away and into the bathroom. The sight of everything on the floor was... I grabbed one of my black towels and threw it over the mess.

I placed my hands on either side of the sink and started running the cold water.

Char came in behind me and placed a hand on my back, causing me to flinch. "Hey, it's going to be okay. If you're worried she told me what she read, then don't be. I know nothing except for the phone call."

"You don't understand. Once he finds out you guys have that and that I'm not gone yet, he's going to come after you. I need to leave." I splashed water on my face, feeling the cold water sting my cuts and regretting it instantly.

I pulled my hair back and went to go pack my bags.

"Mia, wait. What do you mean? You don't have to go."

"Yes, I do. I'm sorry, but I can't risk it. You heard what he'd do if I didn't leave. This is only going to make him more likely to go through with his threats." I kept throwing things in my bag, frantically going through every drawer and taking everything I touched.

Char tried to stop me a few times, but I just kept going. "No, Mia, you don't understand. He's not - Mia, hold on. Just listen to me for a -"

Autumn came back in the room and pulled me away from everything. She was stronger than me right now since everything hurt, and I couldn't fight back. She placed me on the bed, and when I tried to stand back up to repeat what I'd been saying, she pushed me back down.

Char looked shocked at how easily she had taken over control of me. "Autumn, I could've just -" Aut looked at her with a single brow raised, "Never mind. Thank you." Charlotte turned back to me, "You don't need to leave. We've taken care of the rat problem for now."

"How did you..." I looked at Char, but she shook her head and pointed to Autumn. "You scared him off for me? Me of all people?"

"You are not who you were, but you're slowly getting back to her." Autumn wouldn't look at me as she spoke, "You deserve every happiness the rest of us do."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I looked back at Charlotte, and she just nodded. She gestured for me to get up and thank Aut. I got up slowly, stood in front of her, and wrapped my arms around her. I held her as tight as I could, knocking the wind out of her slightly. I whispered, "Thank you. You didn't have to after everything, and you did it anyway," I placed a hand on the back of her head, "I'm so proud of you."

Char placed a hand on my back and left us alone in my room.

She'd started to cry softly when I told her I was proud. She'd never heard anyone, but Reecey say it to her, and she always felt he said it because he had to.

I think there were some other feelings towards me coming out as well. I always saw her as a little sister, but she sometimes viewed me more as the maternal figure she never got. Reece was her brother, but when they were younger, he felt more like a father to her. Not all the time, but definitely when he would take care of her and protect her from their dad.

There was a weird cathartic release we both felt as we hugged each other. It was overwhelming, but it felt so nice at the same time.

"I really have always loved you," I said, pulling back and placing a hand on her cheek. I wiped her eyes, but she kept the same blank expression. It was easier for her to pretend our little exchange didn't happen, and I understood.

As I went to walk away, she grabbed my hand and squeezed it. After a second, she let go and left the room for me to get dressed.

"My Sweetest Autumn," I thought to myself, "She really does have a heart of gold." I smiled and got ready for the day.

I cleaned up my bedroom and the bathroom as I went.

"It's time to clean up my act... and the mess I made." I felt determined to be a better person since Autumn had stuck her neck out for me to give me this last chance at happiness. I looked at myself in the bigger pieces of the mirror, "Best behavior from now on. Do better, be better."