Finding Her Joy

What We Know

*A/N- I'm working on a Shivian story, too. Not sure when I'll start releasing, but I will keep you all posted. Hope you've been enjoying not only this story but the new poems I've been posting, too. Happy reading! Enjoy!

(CHAR POV)
Look at the mess... everything is ruined... and for what? I'm not even sure.

No. I can't even lie to myself and say I don't know why she did it. She's let me in so much. She's allowed herself to care so deeply for me, and she hasn't done that with anyone for... well, technically, never.

It's hard to know how differently things could've gone tonight if she'd decided to... no, she wouldn't. She knows better. Clearly, she doesn't know best, though. I told her not to go. I told her everything would be fine. Was she really not listening when we had our fight at my house? She must've already made up her mind.

I hate that.

I can't hate her, though. As much as I'd like to for the way she's been behaving. She's always telling myself and everyone else to use their words, but she won't take her own advice. Why can't she just listen? If not to me, then at least to herself!

I can feel my frustration rising, but then I look down at her, and it goes away. Brushing her hair off her face, I see the bruises. The swelling is awful, and the cut on her is bandaged. I can only imagine how bad it looks underneath.

"You spend too much time worrying, my darling," I whispered, planting a kiss on her head, "I don't want to lose you either."

She was sound asleep, and her grip was tight on my shirt. I went to shift slightly, and even in her deep sleep, she got upset. She whined at me, holding me even tighter. I didn't even know that was possible.

After a few minutes, she calmed down and settled back into the sheets. I was glad she did because Marjorie came knocking on the door.

"My love," she said, knocking softly, "I really think you need to come downstairs. Autumn has something she needs to share with you."

I gestured to Mia, whispering back, "I'm a little trapped at the moment. When I try to move, she gets upset."

Marjorie closed her eyes and begrudgingly said, "I can - I will - ugh. I'll stay up here with her for you. It won't be the same thing, but at least she won't be alone."

I furrowed my brow at her, "Are you sure? Can it not just wait a few hours, or does she have to tell me now?"

"You definitely need to hear it now. We'll be fine. You're not going far. If we need you, I'll just yell."

I bit my lip nervously and nodded my head, "Alright..." Slowly shifting Mia onto her other side, trying my best not to wake her.

Marjorie watched from the end of the bed. Her expression proving how much she secretly cared for Mia as she noticed everything wrong with her.

"She really fell hard, didn't she," Marjorie said, climbing in next to Mia where I had been.

"I'm not even sure how this all could've happened. Where did she even hit her head?" I went to walk towards the bathroom door, but Marjorie stopped me.

"I wouldn't do that right now," she looked worried, "Autumn said it's a really bad mess in there. It even had Reece freaking out for a while."

"Oh," I backed away from the door. I stood there for a while, waiting for the strength to leave the room again. "Just - if she starts to stir, you have to either rub her back or play with her hair. And, if she reaches for your hand, you only have to hold it for a minute. But if she-"

"Charlotte." Marjorie was firm, "I told you I've got her. Go talk to Autumn, and then you can come back when you're done." She could tell I still didn't want to go, so she gave a reassuring smile, "She's just like Reece when she's upset or hurt. I know what I'm doing."