Finding Her Joy

Deal With The Devil

*A/N- TRIGGER WARNING. There is a little talk of self-harm. For those of you who struggle with this, I'm sorry, and if you need to skip this chapter, you won't miss much. I'll try and cover anything important in later chapters if needed.

(MIA POV)
I woke very early the next morning. I checked my phone to see the time and it wasn't even 4am yet. "Uugghh. Why are you like this?" I asked myself in the darkness of my bedroom. I was frustrated by the lack of sleep I'd been getting the last few weeks.

The anniversary of my dad leaving was coming up in a few days. That always brought back memories of what happened in the years after he left. It got to be so lonely. I had to take care of Mum because she couldn't take care of herself anymore. She tried so hard for a while, but I think everything just ended up catching up to her.

We never really struggled for money since my dad and Roger started out as partners in the nurseries. We were still a budget kind of family, though.

I still think it's ironic that they built a whole business on taking care of children. Providing a safe space for kids and parents, teaching children, showing the kids love and affection if it wasn't offered at home... but they couldn't do that for their own kids? How did that make any sense?

After dad ran off, Mum tried to keep everything light and bubbly in the house. She was trying to make the transition easier for me, I guess. At the time, I hated it. I couldn't understand why or how she was able to just brush it off so easily. Even though it irritated me, I still made it seem like I was happy and bubbly to make her feel better. I'd been that way for so long that I had started to believe it. Reece and Autumn believed it as well. Every time I went to hang out with them, they always told me how bright my presence was to them, and how my smile made them feel better. It felt nice for a while.

Once I'd grown up a bit more, I started to appreciate Mum's efforts more. Especially after she'd had her big breakdown a few years later. After that, she was more of a ghost around the house. It was actually around that time Roger had gotten his claws into me. He always knew to tell when people were at their lowest so he could attack.

I'd come home from school one afternoon when I was 17 to find my mother unconscious on the sofa. Dropping my bookbag, I rushed over to her to try and wake her. She'd been going through old photo albums trying to  find a few of the 2 of us together. My mum must have forgotten that pictures of my dad were in there as well. For her, putting him in a box meant she didn't have to deal with her real feelings towards the situation. After keeping it bottled up for so long, it must have hit her all at once... hard. I saw the empty bottles on the table and an empty prescription bottle just at her feet.

I hadn't known until then that she was taking something to help her sleep. She hadn't slept well since dad left. I just didn't know mum had gone to the doctor about it.

I could tell she was breathing, but it was very shallow. I called the emergency line. Thank God that they showed up as quickly as they did. The memory of that day still haunted my dreams and sent chills down my spine to think about it. The feeling of trying to keep her breathing, trying to wake her from the deep sleep she was slipping into. To this day, when I hear sirens, my whole body tenses, and I'm brought right back to the scene on our floor.

The doctors were able to fix her, but it took a lot to get her back to where she needed in order for her to go home. The pressure of trying to take care of her had gotten to me. She needed to be supervised a lot of the time, and every time I left the house, I would stress about leaving her home alone. Skipping school a couple of times had turned into not going at all for 2 weeks. That's when Roger showed up at our door.

"Hello, Mia." He said as I opened the door. He didn't even wait for me to invite him in. Roger just stepped into the house and closed the door. "How's your mum doing?"

My face went white and i felt my stomach drop. I hadn't told anyone what was going on with her. Reece had asked where I was and had been picking up my assignments, but I told him I was sick.

"You didn't think you could keep it a secret, did you? Poor child must be so lonely and scary for you," he said. He could obviously tell he was right by the look on my face. Roger reached his hand out to grab mine as he went to speak again, "Don't worry. I'm here to help. I'm actually hoping we can help each other?"

"Ewe. Gross. Not gonna happen. You're like 80." I finally replied, taking my hand back and stepping away from him.

"What?!" He yelled, "Nothing like that! Good God, Mia! I'm not even 40 yet. What's wrong with you? No! I want you to do me a favor."

"What do you mean? What kind of favor?" I crossed my arms as I waited for him to reply. My mind is asking a million questions already.

"It seems Autumn has a crush on a certain...boy..." I could see the disgust on his face as he was telling me, "If she starts to date, then she'll leave. Just like her witch of a mother." His last sentence said under his breath, but I could still hear it.

"What does that have to do with me? I can't just tell her to stop liking a boy. The kid likes me, but not enough to take my advice about this."

"I'm having some trouble with Reece and Autumn being so close and friendly. I need to keep them apart. They're easier to control that way." He looked around the room as if he was trying to keep it secret, "You will put a note in Autumns locker pretending to be this Kenny Killerman boy, then you'll tell Reece. I'm hoping you can get him worked up enough about it so he'll do something drastic, something that can be held over him for a while. You'll need to be a witness to his crime, obviously, but I have no doubt you'll be able to accomplish this task." A darkness had shown itself behind his eyes. He'd always hated Reecey and treated him horribly. I knew if Reece found out about this, he would go ballistic. This could ruin him.

"No. I won't do it. There's nothing you could do to make me do something so awful to him." I tried to walk towards the door to make Roger leave, but he stopped me.

Stepping in front of me and grabbing my arm, he said, "Not even if I told you I have information you want? About your father?"

My eyes darted to his. I was trying to decipher if he was telling the truth or not. At the time, I was so blinded by my own feelings to tell. Still, I shook my head and turned him down.

"If you do a good enough job, I'll make sure your mum is set up for the rest of her life. You'll never have to worry again. You could go back to school, have a social life, and have a boyfriend." I was so sure I could turn him down just to protect Reece, but after the last few weeks, his offer was starting to sound better to me.

If I could go back and do it over again, I would like to say I'd pick differently. Yet, I know it would be a lie. As much as I loved Reece, he was my best friend for years, and Autumn was the little sister I never had... I needed to protect my mum.

"You promise to keep up your end of the bargain?" He nodded his head yes in response. "Fine. I'll do it." I reached my hand out to shake his and make it final that I was ready to do his bidding.

As we shook hands, I felt a part of me die inside. I had just made a deal with the devil, and I knew it was going to come back to bite me in the ass.