Finding Her Joy

The Youngest

*A/N- Another more wholesome chapter. I needed to add a few more of these, so there will be one more after this, and then I've got something special for you... hehehe... Happy reading! Enjoy!

(MIA POV)
The nightmares hadn't stopped. They were still creeping in and eating my dreams alive every night. Most nights, I didn't sleep or slept so little that it didn't matter anyway. I just couldn't get the image of Char being thrown off the building out of my head. I heard her bones break. I saw the impact. I could feel my heart ripping out of my chest every time I closed my eyes for too long.

I felt like a creep in the night because all I could do was sit and watch Charlotte sleep. If I was awake, then she was safe. I knew where she was, and I could see or feel her breathing next to me. Any time she moved, my whole body would tense up. If I ended up dozing off for a few minutes and she got up for any reason, then I'd immediately wake up and start to freak out. The thoughts and lack of control over everything made me feel helpless... broken...

Charlotte was lying right next to me on her belly. Arms wrapped under her pillow, and her face towards me. "You're not allowed to die on me," I whispered before kissing her forehead.

I sat on my phone for a while, looking over some business emails and scrolling the socials. There are too many things going on at 1 a.m. for me to try and focus on.

I kissed Char again and climbed out of the bed to go get some water. I peaked my head in each of the girls' rooms on my way down the hall.

The older was sprawled out on the bed, almost shivering because she'd kicked the blankets off. I fixed her and covered her back up, placing one of her stuffies back on the edge of the bed where it was before. I also picked up the dirty laundry on my way out before heading to the next room.

When I opened the younger ones door, she was sat up silently sobbing in her bed. I knew she was still half asleep, but I couldn't leave her like that. Her tears were streaming down her face. I dropped the laundry outside the door and went over to her bed.

Very softly, I took one of her hands. "Hey," I said quietly, "What's happened? Are you alright?"

She didn't respond.

I fixed myself in front of her and moved both of her hands away from her face. I wiped her eyes, and she woke up some more to look at me. I smiled at her, "There's my pretty girl. Can you tell me why you're crying yet?"

She shook her head, "It's too scary."

"Oh, no. Did you have a bad dream?"

She nodded and sniffled. "It was so real. I thought it was real." She started to cry again.

I picked her up off the bed to hold her. She buried her head on my shoulder and wrapped her arms around my neck. I wasn't sure exactly what to do, so I walked back and forth across the room while rubbing her back to try and soothe her.

I tried to set her back down a few times, but her grip would just tighten on me. "Do you want me to go get your mummy? She might be more -"

"No, don't go!" She would cry every time. Instead of fighting her on it, I just continued doing what I was doing.

"Shh, I won't to anywhere. It's alright." I just kept patting her back, rocking side to side once I'd gotten tired of pacing the room.

I let her settle down a bit before trying to talk to her again. "There we go. You're doing great, Sweetheart. Sometimes we do just need a good cry, don't we?"

She nodded, and I wiped her face with my hands again.

"You know, I have bad dreams too."

"No, you don't. You're lying." She said, unconvinced.

I sat us down on her bed. "It's true. I pinkie swear."

"Whoa! Not the pinkies!" I stuck mine out and wrapped it around hers. "But you're so tough. Tough people aren't supposed to have bad dreams."

I laughed, "You're not wrong. I'm not as tough as people think. I get them a lot more than most. Do you have them a lot, too?"

She looked down, "Only sometimes. I'm scared I don't have any good dreams left..."

"There are always good dreams to be had. Sometimes, if we're scared about something while we're awake, it can show up in our dreams just to be mean to us. There is a trick for that, though. I'd be happy to teach you how to fight it off."

"Really? I wanna know! I wanna know!"

"Hm. Are you sure you're ready? It's pretty hard to do." She nodded and put her hands on my shoulders. "You are pretty tough. Okay, I'll tell you, but you have to keep it a secret."

I leaned in close to her ear and whispered my step by step process on keeping the bad dreams away. "First, you have to climb into bed and get tucked in tight. So tight that nothing has room to move in." She climbed off my lap and got under the covers, gesturing for me to tuck in her sides. "Cozy?" She nodded.

"Alright, second step then. You have to hold onto something that makes you happy and feel safe. Do you have something like that?"

"Bunnard!" She pointed to a long stuffed rabbit on the floor by the window.

"His name is Bunnard? Not Bernard?"

"Ew. Why would his name be Bernard? That's gross."

I threw my hands up, "Sorry, sorry. Didn't know. Here you go, and don't forget to tuck him in, too." She did as I said and waited for the next step. "Next, we have to close our eyes super tight and name 5 people or things that bring us joy."

"Oh, okay. Um... Mummy, Daddy, my sister, my grandma, and... oh! You!"

My heart melted. I could've died right there and been totally fine with it.

"What are yours?" She asked.

"You want to know mine?" She didn't say anything, just nodded and waited. "Alright. Let's see. There's obviously you and your sister, but I think that counts as one, right?" She nodded again. "Okay. There's my mum and Auntie Autumn. Uncle Reece... I guess. And clearly, I can't leave your mummy."

"I like those. Can I change mine?" I told her yes, and she switched a few of the names.

I smiled at her. "Good job. Are you ready for the last step before falling asleep and having good dreams?"

"Yup. Let's do it."

"The last step is reading your favorite bedtime story, or I like to sing my favorite song. Which would you prefer?"

"Can you sing me your favorite song?" She asked sweetly.

I brushed her hair behind her ears and replied, "If that's what you want, then I'll do it."

I thought from a minute on the song that used to help me get myself back to sleep when I was her age. My mum used to sing a couple of different ones to calm me. Mostly Doris Day or nursery rhymes, but my favorite was a classic song from my favorite musical.

Somewhere Over The Rainbow from The Wizard Of Oz started to play in my head, so I sang it to her and watched her get sleepy very quickly.

Once the song was over, she yawned and started to close her eyes all the way. Before she did, she patted my hand and said, "So pretty." Now almost completely asleep, she added, "Love you, Mummy Mia."

My heart stopped when I heard her say it. I knew she had no idea what she was saying, but it was so nice to hear. I could see my future at that moment... and I loved it already.

I kissed her forehead, saying, "Sweet dreams, little one." Then I backed out of the room to head down to the kitchen like I'd planned before.

I started some laundry and did the dishes, all while hearing her little voice echo in my head.

"Could this really all be mine?" I asked myself.