lost me (Minho×ot8)

chapter 100

Minho's pov( present day)
"Any progress?" I asked looking at the doctor who was examining changbin. The middle aged woman shook her head and stared at me.
"As I told you before minho, nothing...and I don't think he will..."
"I told you to not say it...he will wake up" I cut her off.
"It is been three years...with each day that passes his chances of waking up are getting closer to zero...I don't want you to keep a false hope..."

"I am not a man who gives up easily " I cut her off.
"You made that clear...I knew you for three years now",  the woman said...she is a military surgeon...one of the best...she has been taking care of changbin since he got shot...but I am losing my patience with her...she is insisting on the fact that he is gone too...but i can't...I can't accept that...I can't lose another one...seungmin won't survive this...I know he refuses to see him...but for now...changbin is here.
"He is still breathing..."
"I told you before that it is the machines
..as soon as we took him off the vent..."
"And I told you that would be over my dead body", I said glaring at her.

I fought his parents and I am ready to do the same with anyone who dares to think about taking him off the vent.
"You are torturing him, he deserves to rest" doctor kim said.
"Listen to me, if we are going to have the same conversation we went through hundreds of times before...then don't come here again...I am responsible for him...you are here to  help monitor his condition not tell me what to do" I said feeling pissed...just remembering what seungmin went through last night breaks me...actually we go through that every night...he wakes up screaming after having a nightmare about jisung getting shot.

I can't blame him...he watched the man he loved dies in front of him...I...I still feel guilty for losing control that day...I wonder if I was with them...would things have been different?, I guess we will never know...when everyone was suffering...I was unconscious...oblivious of what was happening.
"It was my professional opinion...it won't change" she replied getting up.
"Miracles happens...it happened to me before" I said making her nod.
"Alright" the doctor said taking her bag " I will show myself out" she added.
I didn't look at her but instead my eyes were fixed on changbin who was sleeping calmly.

I walked closer to him, he is breathing i don't care if it is the machines doing it for him...he is here...he is warm....his heart his beating...my hand fell on his chest feeling his slow heartbeats....I can't lose him too...I need him...I need someone by my side...call me selfish...but I want not letting go of him...never...
"Please come back to us" I said as I gently caressed his cheek...I didn't get the chance to properly get to know him...there is still a lot more to know...to do...sometimes I feel exhausted...I want to give up...but I can't do it...I need to keep holding into this hope...even if it is a false one...they gave up but i will never do that...

I took a deep breath and with one last glance at my sleeping boyfriend before I left the room...hell I am not sure that I can call him that yet...I mean I joined the relationship and we slept together I guess I can...don't I...but I wanted more...i trusted that life had given me another chance but once again I was left broken...I just keep losing people to find others...a felt a tear escape my eyes remember jisung...his bubbly yet composed persona when it comes to the job...his teasing...his helpless flirting attempts which I acted like I didn't like yet it made my heart flutter...I wish he was here...I wish he was with me now to tell him that to his face...to tell him how much I love him...to just...

" dad" my thoughts were cut short hearing mingi calling me.
"Hey little guy" I said drying my eyes before i turned around to see my son walking closer with a pout on his lips...I just couldn't help but chuckle at him.
"What is wrong buddy?" I added picking him up. Finding my son and my daughter was the last thing I expected to happen...I still remember the day hyunjin brought them to me...we were in a middle of a chaos...dealing with losses when I found my kids...I didn't know how to feel...or do.
"Noona kicked me out of her room" he answered throwing his little arm around my neck to hug me.
" I see and what was she doing then" i said walking with him down the hall, silence filled the place which confirmed my theory.