Primrose | REVIEW SHOP [ OPEN ]

✦ { Kaze Lee } Bullet Train to Murder

Reviewer: kazeleeknow

Client: Saramitra_

What i understood of the story:

The novella follows a classic murder mystery trope set aboard a train, reminiscent of an Agatha Christie novel, but with modern flair, more blood, and sarcasm. The protagonist, Detective Molly Rayne, finds herself thrust into an investigation when a murder occurs during a business trip. As the train speeds toward its destination, the mystery deepens, with each passenger being a potential suspect. Molly is a seasoned detective, grappling not just with the case but also her own troubled past. Her investigation takes her through a maze of secrets, hidden intentions, and growing danger as she begins to uncover more about the people aboard the train. The novella blends the tension of a lockedroom mystery with modern detective sensibilities.

Strengths:

1. Pacing & Suspense: The narrative sets a fast pace, capturing the urgency of a murder investigation on a speeding train. The tight setting helps heighten the tension, with each chapter providing new clues or unfolding secrets. Readers are drawn into the story, constantly guessing who the murderer might be.

2. Characterization: Molly Rayne stands out as a strong protagonist with a backstory that enriches the plot. She’s tough but not invincible (which I love), and her internal struggles give her depth. The introduction of cryptic characters, such as Mr. Bingo, adds intrigue.

3. Dialogue: The sarcastic tone, especially through Molly’s internal monologue and interactions with suspects, adds humour to what could otherwise be a grim tale. It lightens the narrative without undermining the tension of the murder investigation.

4. Classic Murder Mystery Elements: The novella takes inspiration from established murder mystery formats but infuses it with modern sensibilities. The use of new technology and biochips at a conference adds a unique twist.

Suggestions for Improvement:

1. Clarity and Consistency of Plot Points:

    Example: In chapter 2, Molly receives mysterious texts from someone claiming to know more about the murder. While this adds suspense, the conversation feels disjointed and vague. The person seems to have a lot of specific information but doesn’t reveal much despite claiming to want to help. He seems mele like Nereus from The Deep, iykyk

    Suggestion: You could tighten this interaction by revealing slightly more about the sender's motive or connection to the murder to avoid the scene feeling like a mere red herring.

For example, instead of vague warnings, the sender could provide one piece of actionable information, which Molly can later confirm is true, building trust in an otherwise suspicious source.

2. Character Depth for Side Characters:

    Example: Several passengers on the train are mentioned as potential suspects, but few are given detailed backgrounds or motives. This makes the whodunit aspect less engaging because the reader isn't given enough to suspect multiple people.

    Suggestion: Flesh out more of the passengers by giving them distinct personalities and secrets that Molly uncovers throughout the investigation. Even if they are innocent, readers should feel like any of them could have committed the crime.

For instance, instead of just focusing on Dane Wade, the victim’s backstory could be more entwined with that of other passengers.

This is my ITV knowledge speaking.