Primrose | REVIEW SHOP [ OPEN ]

✦ { June } The Misadventures of The Cutesy Bruisers

Client: Superwicked

Reviewer: june_berrin

Thank you so much for giving me the chance to review your story.

❥ Title/Cover: The title is long but unique. I like how you creatively tied together Cutesy and Bruisers, which sort of means someone cute but also feisty, making the title intriguing. The title is quite generic and doesn't point to any certain age group; it could have been the title of a children's book, an adult's, or any other, and it also works for some other genres.

The cover whoever, it could be because I am not a big fan of bright colors, I didn't like it. The entire title was not there on the cover, missing 'The' and other than that, the cover didn't sort of match the overall vibe that the title and the blurb gave off. The subtitle also felt unnecessary and confused me for a moment, so I recommend that you modify it or take it down as you please. Even though I understand the underlying meaning you're trying to cover by using pink color. The cover quality wasn't that good, and along with that, the addition of blue doesn't seem to match the vibe. I would recommend keeping the pink color as it greatly reflects the characters of this story, but changing the font and the way the title is strewn over the cover.

In Wattpad, many graphic designers would design free typography covers—even though I would recommend more vector-type covers to match the vibe—and you can find them in graphic shops. If you want, there is one under this community itself. Overall, nice title but not a fan of the cover.

❥ Blurb: The blurb seems to have a lot of personality and is presented humorously. I recommend adding a closing line so that the blurb doesn't feel like it was ended so abruptly, like, for example:

'Beneath the pastel makeup, big hair, and puffy skirts lies a wild side no one suspects. When the Cutesy Bruisers catch wind of your misdeeds, you'd better duck for cover. They might look sweet, but when the bad guys show up, they square up. Justice has never looked so fabulous—or so fierce!'

I modified it while keeping the original premise. I strengthened the flow and added a closing line to the end.

❥ Mechanics/Storyline: Your story's formatting is not that of a novel but of a series or a sitcom. While this is good, the episode formatting feels very long for Wattpad readers, even though it makes sense as it is an episode. This entire first chapter was about 19 pages, which could be about 17,100 words. In traditional books, this word length would be okay, but online it is way too much. The ideal chapter length is to be about 1000-2500, and you can even go as high as four thousand or five thousand. But having more than 10k in a chapter makes it harder to read, so a better solution would be to break it down into chunks like Episode 1, Part 1, and put in more than five thousand words so you can finish the first episode in 3 parts.

Your scenic descriptions are vivid and make it easy to imagine the scene. I also loved the incorporation of metaphorical and poetic descriptions, which helped enhance your writing a lot more.

I liked how you slowly worked on the world-building, giving us a glimpse of her surroundings, the gang members scene, the robots in the mall, and especially the first part where the Savior Syndicate was introduced. It helped to visualize the world Kandy was living in.

The pacing of the story was a little too fast, but still, it was manageable. I loved the addition of that slight mystery that you added in the beginning about how something even worse comes every time the heroes leave the place.