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✦ { Cyian } The Rise of Blood and Moon

Reviewer: iburnrice

Client: Seong_Grace

Thank you for giving me the chance to review your story. I apologize in advance if any of what will be said comes off as rude or hurtful. It was never my intention ❤️

The title “The Rise of Blood and Moon” is beautiful, but misleading. What do I mean? It is true that the title hints at the genre of the story and prepares the reader for what is to come, but when you open up the book and start reading, the incidents overall don't match with the title. It's like a “what I ordered” vs “what I got” situation.

I'm also very concerned about the extra words written after the title; “Fiction Vampire & Warewolf”

Those could be placed in the blurb or not included at all.

On the other hand, the book cover is very gorgeous!

Though, I won't say it's fitting for the novel itself. After reading the first 5 chapters, instead of a sword, I was thinking there should be individuals ( two boys and a girl) under a blood moon. But that's just my thoughts.

Blurb - ⁴/⁵

The blurb is decent. The grammar is spot on and everything else looks good. Personally, I wouldn't click on the book just by reading this blurb. Why? Because it lacks information.

It only introduces us to the village, that too by only telling us the name. It also introduces the main character Elara, but it fails to hint at the “shadowed past” that was mentioned and also the ways by which there's a blur between “friends or foes”.

Who are these friends? We should at least be introduced to them. Not a full background introduction, eg descriptions of hair, eyes… but perhaps their name and relation to the plot a bit.

I mean, with the way the blurb was written, with Elara standing alone, how am I supposed to think she has friends or will face betrayal? Also, what is the past? 

Character depth could be improved. I also thought of adding more to the atmosphere and to straighten the story's flow by changing a few words. You don't have to do this for your book, it's just a suggestion.

Revised blurb;

In the remote and eerie village of Thornwood, the blood moon rises, casting an eerie glow and heralding a night of terror and revelation. When a series of gruesome murders shatters the tranquility, Elara, a young healer haunted by her past, must confront an ancient curse that ties her fate to a malevolent force. As the line between friend and foe blurs, even her closest allies, Ellen and Milo, may not be what they seem. Racing against the relentless ticking of time, Elara must unravel the village's darkest secrets before the blood moon sets, battling not only the curse but also her own inner demons.

“Under the blood moon, secrets awaken, and no one is safe.”

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This should seamlessly integrate Ellen and Milo into the narrative, adding depth to Elara's relationships and the suspense of the story. I can't exactly cook up anything about her past since I have no idea, but you could easily insert the extra information yourself if you decide to take my suggestion.

Plot Creativity/Originality - ⁴/¹⁰

This is a key element to be discussed. How creative was your story's plot? How original was it? What emotions were invoked? Is there consistency?

When it comes to the originality, I would say the plot is fairly original. The concept of a highschool vampire novel is not new, nor is the concept of a haunted village or town. Reason why you could have incorporated exciting twists to make it better.